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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 163659" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It would be easier if there were someone to blame for this apparently senseless loss. But sometimes bad things happen purely by chance. There could be a sinister reason - or there might be absolutely no cause for suspicion. </p><p></p><p>Bruises etc often show up post-mortem, sometimes hours or days later. There can be many reasons for there to be bruises or cuts, purely as the result of an accident. I know that if I had a fall, even just tripping over my own big feet, I would have bruises and probably also torn clothing. The last fall I had (when I tipped over in my mobility scooter) required months of physiotherapy and massage to get me back to where I was. I had bruises all down one side of my body, my shoulder was in spasm for weeks and I ripped the leg of my trousers and the sleeve of my shirt. And that was just from an accidental fall!</p><p></p><p>Her left arm had bruises and a puncture wound - if she was falling, as a left-hander it is her left arm (especially hand and forearm) that she would have put out to save herself. The cuts to her right sleeve could have happened at any time, but remember - the right arm would have been behind her, the left would have been in front. It is possible the right sleeve could have been cut by snagging on something during her fall, or in some other way after she died (maybe even by the police when they found her, as part of retrieval).</p><p></p><p>if she fell and also hit her head, she could have been stunned for long enough to drown, and any bruising be hidden by her hair. But she needn't have hit her head as violently as her arm - sometimes it doesn't take much to stun someone enough for them to drown. If the water was cold enough, it may have been all that was needed for her to drown - when you land in extremely cold water the first thing you do (can't help it) is take a gasp.</p><p></p><p>What the description of injuries does tell me - she didn't kill herself. Because if she had deliberately jumped into the water, she wouldn't have tried to save herself. And I'm sure she did - the injuries on her left arm indicate this. Whatever happened, I think suicide could genuinely be ruled out and not simply have been left off the report out of consideration for your feelings.</p><p></p><p>As for your parents being indifferent - is it indifference? Or is it some level of acceptance? Their relationship with her was very different to yours, they will be experiencing things differently. That doesn't mean her loss doesn't hurt them, but maybe for them they find it easier to accept an accident (accept it gratefully, perhaps) than to even bear to consider the possibility of foul play. Whereas you are hurting very deeply, in a different way, and have a desperate need to KNOW, if even the tiniest chink doesn't seem to fit.</p><p></p><p>I'm not saying there wasn't the possibility of foul play, only that from what you've told us, this is not inconsistent with the ruling of accidental drowning. I don't see anything that couldn't be explained.</p><p></p><p>Would you be free to ask for ideas on how her sleeves were cut? And in what fashion? Were they clean cuts, or were they more like damage due to being caught on a branch, for example? Sometimes a word can be misinterpreted, or misunderstood. Would knowing more detail help you? Or would it upset you further?</p><p></p><p>I hope you can find the answers you are looking for, and that they can give you some peace. That is not the same as indifference.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 163659, member: 1991"] It would be easier if there were someone to blame for this apparently senseless loss. But sometimes bad things happen purely by chance. There could be a sinister reason - or there might be absolutely no cause for suspicion. Bruises etc often show up post-mortem, sometimes hours or days later. There can be many reasons for there to be bruises or cuts, purely as the result of an accident. I know that if I had a fall, even just tripping over my own big feet, I would have bruises and probably also torn clothing. The last fall I had (when I tipped over in my mobility scooter) required months of physiotherapy and massage to get me back to where I was. I had bruises all down one side of my body, my shoulder was in spasm for weeks and I ripped the leg of my trousers and the sleeve of my shirt. And that was just from an accidental fall! Her left arm had bruises and a puncture wound - if she was falling, as a left-hander it is her left arm (especially hand and forearm) that she would have put out to save herself. The cuts to her right sleeve could have happened at any time, but remember - the right arm would have been behind her, the left would have been in front. It is possible the right sleeve could have been cut by snagging on something during her fall, or in some other way after she died (maybe even by the police when they found her, as part of retrieval). if she fell and also hit her head, she could have been stunned for long enough to drown, and any bruising be hidden by her hair. But she needn't have hit her head as violently as her arm - sometimes it doesn't take much to stun someone enough for them to drown. If the water was cold enough, it may have been all that was needed for her to drown - when you land in extremely cold water the first thing you do (can't help it) is take a gasp. What the description of injuries does tell me - she didn't kill herself. Because if she had deliberately jumped into the water, she wouldn't have tried to save herself. And I'm sure she did - the injuries on her left arm indicate this. Whatever happened, I think suicide could genuinely be ruled out and not simply have been left off the report out of consideration for your feelings. As for your parents being indifferent - is it indifference? Or is it some level of acceptance? Their relationship with her was very different to yours, they will be experiencing things differently. That doesn't mean her loss doesn't hurt them, but maybe for them they find it easier to accept an accident (accept it gratefully, perhaps) than to even bear to consider the possibility of foul play. Whereas you are hurting very deeply, in a different way, and have a desperate need to KNOW, if even the tiniest chink doesn't seem to fit. I'm not saying there wasn't the possibility of foul play, only that from what you've told us, this is not inconsistent with the ruling of accidental drowning. I don't see anything that couldn't be explained. Would you be free to ask for ideas on how her sleeves were cut? And in what fashion? Were they clean cuts, or were they more like damage due to being caught on a branch, for example? Sometimes a word can be misinterpreted, or misunderstood. Would knowing more detail help you? Or would it upset you further? I hope you can find the answers you are looking for, and that they can give you some peace. That is not the same as indifference. Marg [/QUOTE]
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