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General Parenting
Avoiding POWER STRUGGLES with Teens
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 283801" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>hi,</p><p> </p><p>i've come to learn and slowly i might add (brick on head is the way i like to go) that i do not engage in the power struggle, or at least try not to.</p><p> </p><p>i have basic house rules, and set times for curfew now. i do the options at times dependent upon the situation yet i find that works better wtih the little ones the older ones not so good because their ability to bargain and debate i've come to learn is much better lol.</p><p> </p><p>my daughter 16 will ask for something i will say no and i do actually give a reason why, she than comes back with why not or i dont' think that's fair, etc. if i feel strongly i stand my ground and say i'm sorry yet that's the answer and if she keeps going i say to her ok i'm done with this topic now and i am no longer listening and i walk away. intended ignoring it's called and umm i like it. she'll try to bait me a few more times and i breath through it and go to do something else than eventually she'll give up.</p><p> </p><p>they bait us so quicklly and easily it's so hard at times to realize we're already engaged in it when we are, <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> at least for me! gotta love teenagers.........................................................</p><p> </p><p>i wish you luck. i also spend time with her each week doing something fun could be as simple as a movie at home yet i'm finding by spending time with her it lessens the longivity of the issue and also the intensity of it on her end and i'm better able to cope as well.</p><p> </p><p>it's def not easy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 283801, member: 4514"] hi, i've come to learn and slowly i might add (brick on head is the way i like to go) that i do not engage in the power struggle, or at least try not to. i have basic house rules, and set times for curfew now. i do the options at times dependent upon the situation yet i find that works better wtih the little ones the older ones not so good because their ability to bargain and debate i've come to learn is much better lol. my daughter 16 will ask for something i will say no and i do actually give a reason why, she than comes back with why not or i dont' think that's fair, etc. if i feel strongly i stand my ground and say i'm sorry yet that's the answer and if she keeps going i say to her ok i'm done with this topic now and i am no longer listening and i walk away. intended ignoring it's called and umm i like it. she'll try to bait me a few more times and i breath through it and go to do something else than eventually she'll give up. they bait us so quicklly and easily it's so hard at times to realize we're already engaged in it when we are, :) at least for me! gotta love teenagers......................................................... i wish you luck. i also spend time with her each week doing something fun could be as simple as a movie at home yet i'm finding by spending time with her it lessens the longivity of the issue and also the intensity of it on her end and i'm better able to cope as well. it's def not easy. [/QUOTE]
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