Awe, now ain't that sweet?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by hexemaus2, Dec 28, 2010.

  1. hexemaus2

    hexemaus2 Old hand

    SO and I finally got to have our little Christmas last night. With all the crazy hectic stuff this last weekend and difficult child 1's drama, we decided to wait until a night I felt a little less frazzled to have our Christmas together.

    He did the sweetest thing. There was a picture we took of our getaway cabin a couple weeks ago that I just loved. Picture a small log cabin, end to end porch and all, nestled in the side of a mountain, covered in snow. When I first saw how it turned out, I even commented it looked a lot like a calendar picture. (Complete with the soft, warm glow of a light in the living room window.)

    Well, SO printed a beautiful copy of it and had it framed to match the other pictures in my living room. It's the perfect size to sit on the mantle. Tucked in with the picture was a beautiful little postcard-type glossy card, with the same cabin picture and a little note. Tucked inside that, he had another note & cash. When I looked at him oddly about the cash, his comment was "I thought I'd treat you to a pedicure, so someone could wait on you & rub your feet after a long, trying week."

    Is that not the sweetest thing? He said he wanted to book an appointment for me and have it all taken care of, but he wasn't sure where I'd want to go. I have a salon where I normally go, but he thought I might like to hop over to one of those ritzy spas in town, where you get the whole spa treatment deal.

    Normally, I would have been tickled with just the picture. It is lovely and I absolutely LOVE the way he framed it. It turned out perfect!

    But the added "let me do something nice to help you relax" part was just so thoughtful. He didn't (and still doesn't) know the whole story about what happened with difficult child 1. It's just not something I felt the need to share in detail. But he knew something came up with my youngest daughter and she had hurt my feelings enough to put a damper on Christmas. Added to my parents coming to the house (my Dad for the first time) and he knew my strings were pulled pretty tight this time of year.

    I swear, I could have just cried last night. It was such a sweet, caring, thoughtful gift.

    Kind of made the range finder I bought him for golfing seem rather...impersonal. lol. (Although to him it was awesome...he's been looking at them for months, debating on whether to splurge and buy himself one.)

    It's nice when someone cares enough, even if they don't fully "get it," but understand enough to do something thoughtful and sweet.
     
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Very sweet...and you deserve it!!
     
  3. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Hex - I got my husband a range finder, too and he loved it. SO glad you two had a wonderful Christmas!!!! That was very, very sweet!!!!
     
  4. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    so wait....you have a boyfriend? and have difficult child's? You mean there's hope?
     
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    ROFL - at Amaze -

    Hex - I am so happy for you! Sounds like a Currier and Ives painting.
     
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    What a great gift! Enjoy your pedicure!
     
  7. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    What a wonderful guy! Enjoy your relaxation treatment!
     
  8. hexemaus2

    hexemaus2 Old hand

    LOL Amaze...that's funny. I've learned over the years that it's better for me to keep my personal life and my family life separate. (Sounds strange, doesn't it? lol.) We have an "arrangement," I guess you could call it. He has his life. I have my life. Then we have our life somewhere in between...each piece is separate, which works great for us.

    It's a little late in the game for someone to step in and try to be any kind of parental figure for my boys, and I've learned the hard way that I really don't want anyone to. That works out great for SO, since he's never had kids of his own and doesn't really know what to do with teenage boys without stepping on my toes.

    We all went to the cabin together a couple of weeks ago...the most time he's ever spent with my boys. They all like each other, but there's no pressure from me for the three of them to have anything more than a neighborly kind of relationship. (Wave hello when you see them, maybe chat once in awhile, but never really get to know each other or feel the need to be "friends.")

    After years of gfgness...it's just easier for me not to have to worry about how my home life "looks" to someone else, or worry about the gfgness giving them such a fright they run for the hills. lol. Not to mention, I just don't have it in me to hear "well maybe you should just..." or "have you ever thought about trying..." any more in my lifetime. (Like there's anything left on this planet I haven't already tried, done, thought of, questioned, etc.) :) Then there are those guys who are just absolutely clueless and do nothing to be even morally supportive. It's just not fair (in my eyes) to expect anyone to step into this family and try to make anything work in that regard. They'd have to have difficult children of their own to "get it" enough to make it worthwhile in that regard...and I'm just not willing to add more gfgness to my life. I'm difficult child phobic. lol.

    So yeah, I have a boyfriend...but one that isn't involved in my family life. I get to have one or two nights a week that I can escape from work and mom duties, no pressure trying to blend my family with someone else's routine, and a strict understanding that I will not give up my life for anyone else, nor do I expect him to do that for me. I swear, our "dating," at least in the beginning, was more like a business negotiation. lol.

    Me: Okay, I'll go out with you, but don't expect me to invite you to my house for dinner.
    SO: Okay, I can respect that...so long as you don't expect me to pay your bills.
    Me: Works for me! Do I have to meet your mother?
    SO: No.
    Me: Even better!
    SO: How do you feel about marriage?
    Me: I've grown allergic to it.
    SO: I like the way you think.
    Me: Okay, so we can try this whole dating thing...but I reserve the right to opt out if it gets too sticky or uncomfortable for me.
    SO: Do I get the same opt out option?
    Me: Naturally.
    SO: Cool. This could work.
    Me: You don't take any kind of psychiatric medication, do you? Ever had a women take out a restraining order? Large numbers of ex's who've told you you're crazy? Any arrests or prison sentences I should know about?
    SO: No. You?
    Me: No, not unless you count that trip to Vegas where I went on a PMS-induced rampage and was a guest of the County Mental Health facility for several months. But that was months ago and I'm better now. Those little white pills worked wonders. I should probably go back on them.
    SO: Reeeallly.
    Me: You know I'm joking, right?
    SO: God, I hope so.
    Me: Okay, so you don't have to try to be all "parental" with my kids. I don't have to meet your mother, or go to company Christmas parties. You don't have to pay my bills. Anything else we should cover?
    SO: Not that I can think of, just yet.
    Me: You do understand, you won't be at the top of my list in terms of responsibilities, right? I have two boys to finish raising, a freelance career to maintain, and a farm to get off the ground. That puts you squarely in 4th place. You going to be okay with that?
    SO: Are you going to call me 5 times a day, wanting to know who I'm with, what I'm doing, where I've been, and why I didn't call you 6 times yesterday?
    Me: Um. No.
    SO: Then I think we have terms. Will you be dating anyone else?
    Me: Ha ha. No. I'm can't even promise I'll have time for you, much less anyone else. Besides, I've never been the footloose-and-fancy-free type that does well juggling "dating" more than one person...even if its only dinner & dancing. You?
    SO: Nope. I'm a one-gal kind of guy. I just don't want that one gal following me everywhere I go via text or phone calls.
    Me: Me neither. I hate when my girlfriends do that.
    SO: ??
    Me: I'm joking. I promise. Women have too many snakes in their heads for me.
    SO: I think I could really begin to like this. Saturday work for you?
    Me: Sure. I'll meet you at 6.

    I swear, that's how it started. At least we were able to work out all the things we DIDN'T want, right from the start. So it works well for both of us. Just enough of having another person around not to be lonely, but not so much so that things will get messy if it doesn't work out. At least until my boys are on their own, that's as close as I'm comfortable letting someone else get to my family life.

    I've also found that it's working wonders to teach my boys (now that they're inching towards 18 and independence) that ALL of Mom's life is not their business. What I do when I leave to go out with SO is none of their concern. That's my personal life - not open for discussion, since it has no bearing on family affairs. I didn't plan it that way, but I've found its helping them understand boundaries. Especially with difficult child 2, who doesn't get boundaries or privacy very well. (In his eyes, if it has to do with a family member, it's his business.) It's helping to draw some lines between what they can expect to know about my personal life and what's off limits. A great side effect has been them staying out of my bathroom...odd as that sounds. They no longer just walk into my room to use my bathroom when the main bathroom is occupied. It's actually kind of nice to be able to have some of my own personal life/space back...things I don't have to share or put up to a family committee meeting for discussion.
     
  9. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    wow I am still astonished! It would seem wether you have difficult child's or easy child's, it's wiser to just date and not move in with someone new, cause kids = issues. Problem is I am a "Christian" so there are certain "expectations" by single Christian Men, some of them are not very Christian at all LOL, but most are looking for marriage. And I've been divorced 2 years this Jan. and seperated for 3.5 years. Starting to get a little lonely, but not enough to get burned yet.
     
  10. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    That's really sweet. Does he give lessons???
     
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