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Awkward 'thing' need insightful folks
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 315491" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Nomad, you did what you did because of your love for your cousin. The expectation that the rest of the family should show their appreciation is what we all hope for but isn't the primary purpose of your visit. They probably figure you spent that money because you wanted to and not because they asked- so no sense of obligation on their part. </p><p></p><p>I think guys are horrid with keeping in touch with in law families and even their own families as a general rule. The social graces of returning graciousness with a note or a return gesture seems lost on guys in general. I know my husband loves his mother dearly but if I didn't remind him he would forget to call or send a card or a gift. Clueless! It means a lot to people to be recognized by their families in some small way but my husband and my son's always have to be reminded. </p><p></p><p>The boys may care more as they get older and want more involvement with mom's family but I figure it's probably such a painful period of their lives that they want nothing to do with anyone or anything that will cause them to have to talk about mom's illness and death. </p><p></p><p>Hopefully the husband has found a way or someone who can help him recharge from such a difficult job as attending to someone he loved who was ill. I am betting cousin would want for him to move on and be happy.</p><p></p><p>I would send cousin's husband and children a card once a year at christmas with your address and phone number. Someday they may call. Maybe not but what have you lost but a stamp and a Christmas card. At least you tried.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 315491, member: 3"] Nomad, you did what you did because of your love for your cousin. The expectation that the rest of the family should show their appreciation is what we all hope for but isn't the primary purpose of your visit. They probably figure you spent that money because you wanted to and not because they asked- so no sense of obligation on their part. I think guys are horrid with keeping in touch with in law families and even their own families as a general rule. The social graces of returning graciousness with a note or a return gesture seems lost on guys in general. I know my husband loves his mother dearly but if I didn't remind him he would forget to call or send a card or a gift. Clueless! It means a lot to people to be recognized by their families in some small way but my husband and my son's always have to be reminded. The boys may care more as they get older and want more involvement with mom's family but I figure it's probably such a painful period of their lives that they want nothing to do with anyone or anything that will cause them to have to talk about mom's illness and death. Hopefully the husband has found a way or someone who can help him recharge from such a difficult job as attending to someone he loved who was ill. I am betting cousin would want for him to move on and be happy. I would send cousin's husband and children a card once a year at christmas with your address and phone number. Someday they may call. Maybe not but what have you lost but a stamp and a Christmas card. At least you tried. [/QUOTE]
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