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Awkward 'thing' need insightful folks
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 315602"><p>Thank you Shari & Mattsmom for reminding me about the donations and Christmas cards and also what you said about "allowing yourself to hurt" is a great point! There are some extenuating circumstances and even without that, all I can do is try my best and hope for the best. Like I've said before here, I can't control other people, only myself.</p><p></p><p>Some good news...I got a nice small note from the mother in law tonight. I had a really nice rapport with her. She did mention that one of the son's is having a hard time. I tried very hard to reach out to him...even called him on the phone once. It is obvious that he should go to therapy. but he doesn't wish to do this.</p><p></p><p>I also go a brief, but very nice email from the husband tonight! I had emailed him about where to possibly send a donation in my cousin's memory. The weird thing is that he NEVER answered the question! Instead, he told me about his life (going very very well...including the engagement) and he expressed a lot of concerns about one the son who is struggling.</p><p></p><p>Well...these two notes were VERY nice surprises. The boys...well, have not heard from them in a super long time and I don't get the impression dad or grandma are encouraging them to do so. But they are adults.</p><p></p><p>I am thrilled that my son is better at these type of things...although I have noticed that he is slower at them then let's say my daughter or daughter in law. But, he does do them. (Hmmmm... however, he did half of the wedding thank-yous and he sent those back super fast and they were GREAT! My girlfriends were sooooo impressed!)</p><p></p><p>So, I think the Christmas thing will be fine...perhaps I'll send a separate card and note to each of them with- my address, phone and email and just simply hope for the best.</p><p></p><p>Thank you guys again for your understanding, kindness and help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 315602"] Thank you Shari & Mattsmom for reminding me about the donations and Christmas cards and also what you said about "allowing yourself to hurt" is a great point! There are some extenuating circumstances and even without that, all I can do is try my best and hope for the best. Like I've said before here, I can't control other people, only myself. Some good news...I got a nice small note from the mother in law tonight. I had a really nice rapport with her. She did mention that one of the son's is having a hard time. I tried very hard to reach out to him...even called him on the phone once. It is obvious that he should go to therapy. but he doesn't wish to do this. I also go a brief, but very nice email from the husband tonight! I had emailed him about where to possibly send a donation in my cousin's memory. The weird thing is that he NEVER answered the question! Instead, he told me about his life (going very very well...including the engagement) and he expressed a lot of concerns about one the son who is struggling. Well...these two notes were VERY nice surprises. The boys...well, have not heard from them in a super long time and I don't get the impression dad or grandma are encouraging them to do so. But they are adults. I am thrilled that my son is better at these type of things...although I have noticed that he is slower at them then let's say my daughter or daughter in law. But, he does do them. (Hmmmm... however, he did half of the wedding thank-yous and he sent those back super fast and they were GREAT! My girlfriends were sooooo impressed!) So, I think the Christmas thing will be fine...perhaps I'll send a separate card and note to each of them with- my address, phone and email and just simply hope for the best. Thank you guys again for your understanding, kindness and help. [/QUOTE]
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