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Axiety is awful
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 551238" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Hmmm... I'd wipe any memory of brother in law's family from my memory... selective amnesia, of course.</p><p></p><p>As far as husband goes... ok, so his rigidity gets in the way of all sorts of things. BUT... it IS good for some things. Can you find ways to make use of what he is good at, to reduce your load in other ways? My husband is actually a really good parent, but... tends to get really intense at exactly the wrong time, which leaves me with some major fires to put out. What he's REALLY good at? keeping track of every single thing that is, was, or is going to be happening. How long since K1's last dr appointment? when is K2's next ortho appointment? did we get the bill for X yet? It's ALL in his brain. I make sure he knows every single nitpicky detail of our lives, and... I have access to an instant filing system. It saves me HOURS of trying to figure things out. He's also really good at teaching kids to do things ONE way. Like, dishes. Folding towels. Sweeping stairs. Cleaning tubs. He knows how to do it right with the least amount of effort - and the kids are catching on that it's either learn 25 different ways from me and spend lots of extra time doing the job, or learn it DAD's way and be done fast. In return... he turns over to me things that are likely to be explosive... OR, calls me in the middle of it (better than after the fact).</p><p></p><p>Sometimes we have to handle our DHs like our difficult children... figure out what WORKS, rather than being focused on what DOESN'T work.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 551238, member: 11791"] Hmmm... I'd wipe any memory of brother in law's family from my memory... selective amnesia, of course. As far as husband goes... ok, so his rigidity gets in the way of all sorts of things. BUT... it IS good for some things. Can you find ways to make use of what he is good at, to reduce your load in other ways? My husband is actually a really good parent, but... tends to get really intense at exactly the wrong time, which leaves me with some major fires to put out. What he's REALLY good at? keeping track of every single thing that is, was, or is going to be happening. How long since K1's last dr appointment? when is K2's next ortho appointment? did we get the bill for X yet? It's ALL in his brain. I make sure he knows every single nitpicky detail of our lives, and... I have access to an instant filing system. It saves me HOURS of trying to figure things out. He's also really good at teaching kids to do things ONE way. Like, dishes. Folding towels. Sweeping stairs. Cleaning tubs. He knows how to do it right with the least amount of effort - and the kids are catching on that it's either learn 25 different ways from me and spend lots of extra time doing the job, or learn it DAD's way and be done fast. In return... he turns over to me things that are likely to be explosive... OR, calls me in the middle of it (better than after the fact). Sometimes we have to handle our DHs like our difficult children... figure out what WORKS, rather than being focused on what DOESN'T work. [/QUOTE]
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