Back after a relative calm

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Sickntired, Jan 13, 2008.

  1. Sickntired

    Sickntired New Member

    I haven't posted in a while, but here I am again, right back where I started with what it seems like are the only people in my life who sympathize (better word would be understand) with poor me.

    Well, to bring you up to date, on September 24th, difficult child was exhibiting his usual "need for speed" on his dirt bike and made a jump on his bike and came off at about 18 feet in the air and CRUSHED his ankle, crushed it so badly it could not be fixed by any surgeon in our town. we had to be sent to a larger town. To make a long story short, he went through all of this BEAUTIFULLY!!!! Took the two surgeries he had to go through much better than I would, all the time stable. Of course, he couldn't attend school, because he was in a wheelchair (my thought is they just don't want to deal with him, injured or his normal OPPOSITIONAL self). They put him on "homebound" but wouldn't send anyone out. They had us bring him in from 3:00 to 5:00 once a week. Wow. They would send home a week's worth of work for him to do at home. If they can't get him to do it, you think I can??? I tried, believe me I did, but he would just piddle at it. At any rate. He missed 6 months of school. I had to insist that it was time for him to come back. We had our IEP meeting. I wanted him to go full day, and he wanted to go full day, but they will only let him go for 3 hours and work on his core subjects and if he can prove in 30 days that he can work and try, then they will graciously add his lunch in and add an elective and see how he does with that. Trouble is, the teacher they have him with only teaches severely mentally challenged children. His friends call it the "retarded class" (excuse me - just repeating) which does not help him. He is not allowed to go to the restroom except when no one is in the hall, by this teachers wishes. One of his friends told me saturday he saw him going to the bathroom while he was in the hall at his locker and said Hi to him and glad he was back and the teacher had a fit and said he wasn't allowed to talk to them. I will deal with this on Monday. At any rate. For the six months he was out of school he did fine. He was pleasant, and very stable. He was on Invega as a mood stabilizer. But his prolactin level kept going up and two weeks before he got back in school, his doctor said we had to take him off it. He tapered him off and started him on Geodon which ended up after the upward taper at 60 mg of a morning and 60 mg of an evening. The first couple of days it worked great, but then the extreme fatigue and sleeping set in. He goes out so deep we can't get him up. He begged and begged me to take him off his medications. Said he didn't need them, but unfortunately he does. Come to find out, he has been "cheeking" his medications for the last 3 days and hasn't had anything. We finally got it out of him this morning becuase he was so agitated and irritable. We made him start taking them again. We gave them with a spoon of applesauce and then looked in his mouth (unfortunately by force) to make sure he had swallowed them. He was just ranting before we did this. Everything agitated him, especially my voice. Anything I said to him he would rant and rave. Now, he is passed out on the couch and will be until the battle begins in the morning to get him up for school. He said when he turned 18 he wasn't going to take his medications anymore and I said that's fine, he would be old enough then to make that decision, but for now, we have to decide what's best for him. He honestly cannot see how he behaves and doesn't know why we are so upset with him. He pushes and pushes and pushes until we loose our temper, not becuase we want to, it just happens. Then he says see, you don't help me at all. All you do is get mad and yell. And he's right. Wish I could take that button away that he pushes. I don't know if it is the medicine change, not taking the medicine or the school stuff that is making things worse, but it is worse. He wants to do like he did before he was injured, which was go to a teacher for 3 hours and do his core subjects and then he could have his electives and be able to be with his friends. Now, he is so ostricized it really hurts him. In my opinion, there is more to his success than what he learns out of a book. He lacks social skills. Being around his friends, if they are positive friends, will help him. He will learn more from them than he will from us as he doesn't listen to us at all. The psychologist that tested him for the school at the beginning of school diagosed him with bipolar, ODD, ADHD, severe depression. His psychiatrist read the report and does not agree. He still stands firm that he is not bipolar. So, what do you do? I'm just a grandmother who loves this grandchild I have been entrusted with and nothing I seem to do helps. I'm ready to give up. Any thoughts? His psychiatrist is a Board Certified Pediatric psychiatrist. Who do you believe? :dont_know:
     
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    SnT,

    I wish I had some fabulous advice for you - I don't. My difficult child is still in middle school and he is not dealing with a mood disorder, or odd, or BiPolar (BP) (at least that we know of!).

    It sounds like you are doing everything you can for your grandson. The six months he missed school have definately added to this situation. It's so hard for our kids who struggle in school to even think about making up or catching up in school. It's like an uphill climb to the tallest peak - overwhelming. Their solution, shut down.

    I don't really believe the school is doing all the should/can to help your difficult child. It appears they are just giving you lip servive and the bare minimum. Would you be able to access an educational advocate to help and advise regarding the school?

    Is there anyone that your difficult child really trusts that could help him find the motivation he needs to get back on track? I think sometimes with teens, whether easy child or difficult child, it's all about finding the right motivation to either spur them on or get them back on track.

    Is your difficult child in any type of therapy? I'm wondering, even those he's seeing a board cert psychiatrist, when he had his last complete evaluation?

    You definately are doing your best by this young man. I hope you are able to find some answers/solutions to get him back on track.

    Sharon
     
  3. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    Wow, I'm so sorry....it must be so very hard for you. I agree with Sharon....I don't think the school is doing enough. I have not had any major issues so far, but have been advised by many that the day will more than likely come & voices that are heard are the ones that see results. It might be time to look for assistance with school issues.

    Oh....and the magic "button"??? I wish I could find that one myself & take it away..... :grrr:....I can't find the daggon thing though.

    I sure hope you find some answers soon!
     
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