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<blockquote data-quote="tryagain" data-source="post: 601449" data-attributes="member: 14865"><p>Hi friends, I'm "back after many months" once again. Things are about like they were in March the last time I updated - difficult child is STILL living in the extended stay hotel 6 hours away that her boyfriend is paying for and can barely afford - he doesn't even own a car, depending on difficult child to take him places. He sided with difficult child against his step-mom and has not been close to her since the upheaval in March. difficult child never apologized and it was ugly. She still has no job - doesn't try very hard to find one, in my humble opinion - and barely passed her one community college course in the spring with a "D" - and it was in the arts, which she's good at, so I don't think that she put forth much effort. Therefore, we will not pay more expensive out-of-state tuition. In case she decides to go again (she is lazy and struggles in school, so I don't think she will for now, unless she matures) we told her we'd gladly pay for instate inexpensive community college if she'd move back here. She will not leave this guy. She clings to him for security.</p><p></p><p>To any of you who have had a similar situation, please give input - husband and I have enjoyed her being gone, and if she returned, I fear it would be a return of the nightmare with us sleeping with one eye open, her lying, screaming, destroying things, etc. We actually get along much better when she does come for a visit, with her gone. BUT I feel that she is making a huge mistake to latch onto this guy in high school and never even try to meet new people, date, etc. I am torn and feel guilty for wishing her to be gone because it's so peaceful now. Maybe he IS the best she can do. He's not a druggie or drinker, seems pretty patient to put up with her, and does support her. He's been working at a labor job very steadily since March that a relative owns. So maybe we should embrace it as it is and be thankful he's providing a roof over her head-and enjoy the peace and quiet. We do cover her BiPolar (BP) medications, phone (since he did not pay his phone bill and has none now), and car insurance, but that's it. This may be "as good as it gets", at this point. I guess I am looking for affirmation and/or suggestions. Thanks guys - it's a lonely road we travel.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tryagain, post: 601449, member: 14865"] Hi friends, I'm "back after many months" once again. Things are about like they were in March the last time I updated - difficult child is STILL living in the extended stay hotel 6 hours away that her boyfriend is paying for and can barely afford - he doesn't even own a car, depending on difficult child to take him places. He sided with difficult child against his step-mom and has not been close to her since the upheaval in March. difficult child never apologized and it was ugly. She still has no job - doesn't try very hard to find one, in my humble opinion - and barely passed her one community college course in the spring with a "D" - and it was in the arts, which she's good at, so I don't think that she put forth much effort. Therefore, we will not pay more expensive out-of-state tuition. In case she decides to go again (she is lazy and struggles in school, so I don't think she will for now, unless she matures) we told her we'd gladly pay for instate inexpensive community college if she'd move back here. She will not leave this guy. She clings to him for security. To any of you who have had a similar situation, please give input - husband and I have enjoyed her being gone, and if she returned, I fear it would be a return of the nightmare with us sleeping with one eye open, her lying, screaming, destroying things, etc. We actually get along much better when she does come for a visit, with her gone. BUT I feel that she is making a huge mistake to latch onto this guy in high school and never even try to meet new people, date, etc. I am torn and feel guilty for wishing her to be gone because it's so peaceful now. Maybe he IS the best she can do. He's not a druggie or drinker, seems pretty patient to put up with her, and does support her. He's been working at a labor job very steadily since March that a relative owns. So maybe we should embrace it as it is and be thankful he's providing a roof over her head-and enjoy the peace and quiet. We do cover her BiPolar (BP) medications, phone (since he did not pay his phone bill and has none now), and car insurance, but that's it. This may be "as good as it gets", at this point. I guess I am looking for affirmation and/or suggestions. Thanks guys - it's a lonely road we travel. [/QUOTE]
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