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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 601467" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Welcome back. It's nice to have peace isn't it? It sounds as if you have found a good balance that works for you, there are certain items you help with, which sound reasonable to me if it doesn't create resentment for you and she is essentially on her own doing what she wants without making you miserable. Don't feel guilty, it serves no purpose but to take your present joy away, you have decided to do it this way, you may as well enjoy it! She is 20 and as you mention in your bio, she is lazy and this is the choice she is making, so....it is her choice not yours. She may be making a mistake but it is her mistake to make, you don't have any power over her choices. I'd say enjoy your new found freedom, peace and quiet. Enjoy your daughter when she visits. What I've learned on this "lonely road" and you're right, it can be lonely at times..........is to learn to accept what is. If you can do that, you will be happier and more peaceful. There is so much we have no control over, and right now, this is what is true for you, you have no control over her choices. So accept the way it is for now, it may change, it may not, but in the meantime you can enjoy your life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 601467, member: 13542"] Welcome back. It's nice to have peace isn't it? It sounds as if you have found a good balance that works for you, there are certain items you help with, which sound reasonable to me if it doesn't create resentment for you and she is essentially on her own doing what she wants without making you miserable. Don't feel guilty, it serves no purpose but to take your present joy away, you have decided to do it this way, you may as well enjoy it! She is 20 and as you mention in your bio, she is lazy and this is the choice she is making, so....it is her choice not yours. She may be making a mistake but it is her mistake to make, you don't have any power over her choices. I'd say enjoy your new found freedom, peace and quiet. Enjoy your daughter when she visits. What I've learned on this "lonely road" and you're right, it can be lonely at times..........is to learn to accept what is. If you can do that, you will be happier and more peaceful. There is so much we have no control over, and right now, this is what is true for you, you have no control over her choices. So accept the way it is for now, it may change, it may not, but in the meantime you can enjoy your life. [/QUOTE]
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