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Back Again...at wit's end
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<blockquote data-quote="P-nut2004" data-source="post: 590896" data-attributes="member: 11740"><p>MidwestMom- the prospect of my girls being abused in the past and me not knowing is something I've considered. There wouldn't have been much opportunity for it to be anyone but their bio dad which nauseates me even more. I have not tried finding a specialist for that but have talked at length with their therapists and tried to ascertain what may have happened but so far neither of them has divulged anything. Like most parents I have talked to them from a very young age about good touching/ bad touching & always told them NO ONE should touch them in a bad way but of course we all know that doesn't always mean that a child will tell someone when something happens. As for the possibility of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) I think it is very likely that LM has Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), (& it tears me up bc I feel responsible for that) she has classic symptoms including the fact that she appears to be a budding sociopath (she cares about no one's feelings but hers [sometimes mine if she makes me cry] & nothing but what she is interested in or wants), she shows no remorse except when she thinks it will get her out of trouble, we have had issues with her being cruel to animals (the worst being her killing her sister's guinea pig bc she was mad at her... She was 6), And don't even get me started on fire, I haven't been able to light candles since she was 4 unless its a case of the power being out & then I keep her right with me the whole time. She once almost burnt down an apartment building, would have if SJ wouldn't have seen her, she was 4 & I had lit a jar candle in the bathroom and she was dropping toilet paper in it and SJ came in right as she decided to sit the whole roll on top of the candle, SJ reacted super fast , at 7 yrs old, & knocked the whole thing candle & all into the toilet. It could've been REALLY bad, so we don't do candles anymore. All lighters and sharp objects & medication are out of reach & or locked up bc of LM. The biggest reason she's on medication at night is not for her to get more rest, it's so I can bc for years she would get up every night & get into things that could be extremely dangerous so I never did more than doze bc I was so afraid of her getting up while I was asleep. I still sleep so light that everything wakes me up bc of that. She has actual medical issues with her bladder & bowels but I don't think that is the full explanation for the fact that she still has to sleep in pull-ups & we just now at 9 yrs old got to where she's not having consistent accidents, but she still does at her bio dads which really concerns me. </p><p>As far as DHs 3 I don't think there was any opportunity for anything with them bc they were never really away from husband except when he was at work & they were at school or daycare. I think the only thing there as far as abuse is with MC & was just that his bio mom can't handle him so she did go way beyond what I consider discipline on several occasions before we got him. He is fairly typical symptom wise for his diagnosis. He just acts up more with bio mom bc he doesn't want to be there & he wants her to send him home.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="P-nut2004, post: 590896, member: 11740"] MidwestMom- the prospect of my girls being abused in the past and me not knowing is something I've considered. There wouldn't have been much opportunity for it to be anyone but their bio dad which nauseates me even more. I have not tried finding a specialist for that but have talked at length with their therapists and tried to ascertain what may have happened but so far neither of them has divulged anything. Like most parents I have talked to them from a very young age about good touching/ bad touching & always told them NO ONE should touch them in a bad way but of course we all know that doesn't always mean that a child will tell someone when something happens. As for the possibility of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) I think it is very likely that LM has Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), (& it tears me up bc I feel responsible for that) she has classic symptoms including the fact that she appears to be a budding sociopath (she cares about no one's feelings but hers [sometimes mine if she makes me cry] & nothing but what she is interested in or wants), she shows no remorse except when she thinks it will get her out of trouble, we have had issues with her being cruel to animals (the worst being her killing her sister's guinea pig bc she was mad at her... She was 6), And don't even get me started on fire, I haven't been able to light candles since she was 4 unless its a case of the power being out & then I keep her right with me the whole time. She once almost burnt down an apartment building, would have if SJ wouldn't have seen her, she was 4 & I had lit a jar candle in the bathroom and she was dropping toilet paper in it and SJ came in right as she decided to sit the whole roll on top of the candle, SJ reacted super fast , at 7 yrs old, & knocked the whole thing candle & all into the toilet. It could've been REALLY bad, so we don't do candles anymore. All lighters and sharp objects & medication are out of reach & or locked up bc of LM. The biggest reason she's on medication at night is not for her to get more rest, it's so I can bc for years she would get up every night & get into things that could be extremely dangerous so I never did more than doze bc I was so afraid of her getting up while I was asleep. I still sleep so light that everything wakes me up bc of that. She has actual medical issues with her bladder & bowels but I don't think that is the full explanation for the fact that she still has to sleep in pull-ups & we just now at 9 yrs old got to where she's not having consistent accidents, but she still does at her bio dads which really concerns me. As far as DHs 3 I don't think there was any opportunity for anything with them bc they were never really away from husband except when he was at work & they were at school or daycare. I think the only thing there as far as abuse is with MC & was just that his bio mom can't handle him so she did go way beyond what I consider discipline on several occasions before we got him. He is fairly typical symptom wise for his diagnosis. He just acts up more with bio mom bc he doesn't want to be there & he wants her to send him home. [/QUOTE]
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