"Back Again"... daughter on the run (some things never change)

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Bean, Aug 10, 2011.

  1. Bean

    Bean Member

    Just reading through some posts here... wrapping big hugs around a lot of people here right now.

    I really didn't want to have to come back here with the same old tired news. But it sure seems to cycle that way.

    My daughter has been out of the house (which is good), and doing "better" - I don't know if she's really doing better, or if it's just better for US having her not in the house. But she held a very p/t job for about 6 weeks. My mom (the uber-enabler) has paid her rent for the 4 months she's been "on her own." I've asked/begged/pleaded for her not to do this, saying she was not helping, but it never fails, no matter how many times my daughter lies, steals or cheats my mom, my mom caves. Troubles me deeply.

    At any rate, my daughter believes she is an alcoholic/has alcohol issues. Drinks every day. Recently has lost her job. Yesterday I got a phone call from a guy who said he was with her last night at a hotel and woke up to an empty room with his wallet and shoes gone. He had $1500 in his wallet. As much as he worries about that, it is his social security card and ID he really worries about. My daughter skipped town. I haven't talked to her since. She's done her song and dance about I'm coming back, returning the stuff... but we know it is bull. The guy believes her, or tries to. He doesn't want to press charges.

    This is probably all mumble-jumble. Too much to type out in a succinct manner, I guess. I'm having a hard time with it all. Mostly because of past horrible memories of her taking off, being God knows where, putting herself at risk by being so unsafe and obscure.

    I'm so angry!!! That's what I am. Scared, sad, but ANGRY. I've been trying not to be numb, to feel and to love. But if I feel and love, I'm open to disappointment, which is a whole lot of what I'm feeling right now. I'm so scared that she's gone off the deep end and I'll never see her again. It's not a good feeling to not know where your kid is. To not be able to get ahold of them. To have them out there (somewhere) and you couldn't find them if you needed to. It's a little different when they are 20 vs. 16, but still the emotions are there.

    I wish I could just check out for a while. It's so hard to go about the day to day business when you're carrying around such pain.
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sorry you had to come back to the family but am sending caring thoughts of support and plenty of hugs. DDD
  3. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry, Bean. It's so frustrating to watch the cycle repeat itself over and over. I'm sure that phone call just devastated you. You mention that *she* thinks she has an alcohol problem.. does this mean that there might be some slim chance she'll seek help for it? Or do you think she uses that as an excuse for her behavior?

    Hang in there...
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, Bean. Hopefully she'll get serious about getting some kind of help. Many hugs to you.
  5. Bean

    Bean Member

    I think there's a little bit of both going on, really. That's kind of how she's been for a while. First it was a weed problem, now booze.
  6. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Hugs Bean. I wish I could say something fabulous to make you feel better. I understand how you feel, it's awful. (((HUGS))
  7. troubled

    troubled Guest

    I'm sorry to hear of your difficult child's recent actions - (HUGS)! I do think it's good to be ANGRY. You have every right to be angry and I know how you feel. The anger actually helps to distance yourself from the problem (difficult child).