TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
We picked up difficult child at camp (a whole month! He was very homesick but just the break I needed).
Long drive ... 8 hrs ea way, so husband and I stayed overnight at a B&B the night b4.
We had a great discussion with-the teachers and counselors and learned a lot (they used copyrighted material specifically for ADHD kids, and the staff is mostly ADHD. I will post some of the non-copyrighted material here). They said difficult child's biggest improvement and biggest life potential is leadership. They created lists of things that work better with-difficult child's personality, which is very valuable.
The honeymoon lasted 24 hrs. husband did not awaken difficult child to give him his Adderal this a.m., and difficult child seemed very tired, so I let him sleep until almost noon (I suspect he was up until about 4 a.m. because he snuck the DVD player into his bed). He was obnoxious from the get-go. "I'm hungry! I'm not getting out of bed. Bring me pancakes in bed!"
(Certainly, your lord and majesty.)
I did make pancakes but he wised up and showed up in the kitchen.
Then he ran back up to his rm and played with-his action figures and watched the DVD and insisted he was not going to B&N as we had planned, to buy the summer reading that is due for school in 2 wks.
I took the counselor's cue and advice, and told difficult child calmly that he didn't have to go, but that there would be consequences, which he could choose. (The counselor said most kids come up with-consequences harsher than the parents dole out. )
difficult child changed his mind, as long as he could get a wrestling magazine. (I vaguely remember husband talking about it last night so I hope I made the right choice.)
Once we got to B&N, I met with-a friend to edit.
I had difficult child pick out his books from the reading list, and gave him the B&N discount card and my credit card, since I was only 6 ft away in the cafe', and they actually let him run it through and sign it himself.
That gave him the bright idea that he could buy himself a sandwich, which of course he couldn't because it had wheat.
He yanked the cards from me and I've learned enough not to get physical with-him, so I walked over to the cashiers and told them not to let him buy any food with-my card because he was allergic to wheat. They were great about it. He kicked me in the ankle and I told him he was going to suffer consequences. He swore (Sh*t and F***) and drew a few looks.
He then tried to take my car keys and refused to retn the credit card. I finally got him to give the keys back, but the cards he threw on the floor and refused to pick up. (My friend got a good dose of his defiance.)
He disappeared, but showed up about 10 min. later in the cafe', sat on one of the tall bar stools, and read his assigned reading as though nothing had happened.
(My friend was kind enough to give me an "atta girl, he's going to be fine" in the ladies rm but it was so general ... I called her at home at dinnertime for more specifics. She said he was very defiant yet it was clear he knew what he was supposed to be doing but just couldn't "get there.")
As we left B&N, his mood darkened and he wanted food (there's no doubt in my mind that he's hypoglycemic), so I tried Chic-father in law-et, which had a line all the way to Brazil, then drove to Taco Bell. I did not ask him what he wanted, just ordered 2 of everything, then parked and ate my portion in the car, knowing that the smell would entice him to eat eventually. He played with-the sauce packet and it squirted all over the crotch of his trousers and I burst out laughing. Of course, he had to pull out the rest of the sauce packets and play with-them like a 2-yr-old, but I kept my cool, thinking that he was going to spend a lot of time cleaning my car later on.
We drove to husband's clinic, where we were both going to get adjustments, and difficult child refused to get out of the car.
I stayed inside for 30 min, and came out to get him. He insisted he wanted to go home and stay in his rm and play, and I told him that I refused to be around him when he treated me poorly, and his consequence was to spend the rest of the day with-Dad at the ofc.
difficult child finally went inside (in fact, he was so stiff from camp and driving that he could barely get out of the car and he really needed an adjustment) and then called me on my cell ph to come back, because he'd left his book in the car. I drove back and gave it to him and he smiled sweetly just as though nothing had happened. He even wanted to cuddle with-me on the couch in the reception area.
Meanwhile, I'm wiped out and angry and useless for the rest of the day.
husband took him to a friend's house (the 14-yr-old whose mom is in TX for a mo)--sheesh, great consequences, let's play all their video games--but at least he's not at home irritating me. They are eating dinner and I just called husband to remind him that difficult child may not play video games (that's a reward and he's supposed to have consequences) and it's a good thing I called, because husband said B. was playing videos and they were watching. Arrgh!
The month difficult child was away at camp went way too fast and I feel like I'm right back where I started from. I don't know how I'm going to handle the next 10 yrs.
The counselor talked to difficult child about "how do you eat an elephant," (tolerance, patience, fortitude, one piece at a time) so I think that's what I have to do... just take one day at a time and try not to think about the rest.
I am so tired. And I only spent 3 hrs with-him today.
Long drive ... 8 hrs ea way, so husband and I stayed overnight at a B&B the night b4.
We had a great discussion with-the teachers and counselors and learned a lot (they used copyrighted material specifically for ADHD kids, and the staff is mostly ADHD. I will post some of the non-copyrighted material here). They said difficult child's biggest improvement and biggest life potential is leadership. They created lists of things that work better with-difficult child's personality, which is very valuable.
The honeymoon lasted 24 hrs. husband did not awaken difficult child to give him his Adderal this a.m., and difficult child seemed very tired, so I let him sleep until almost noon (I suspect he was up until about 4 a.m. because he snuck the DVD player into his bed). He was obnoxious from the get-go. "I'm hungry! I'm not getting out of bed. Bring me pancakes in bed!"
(Certainly, your lord and majesty.)
I did make pancakes but he wised up and showed up in the kitchen.
Then he ran back up to his rm and played with-his action figures and watched the DVD and insisted he was not going to B&N as we had planned, to buy the summer reading that is due for school in 2 wks. I took the counselor's cue and advice, and told difficult child calmly that he didn't have to go, but that there would be consequences, which he could choose. (The counselor said most kids come up with-consequences harsher than the parents dole out.
)difficult child changed his mind, as long as he could get a wrestling magazine. (I vaguely remember husband talking about it last night so I hope I made the right choice.)
Once we got to B&N, I met with-a friend to edit.
I had difficult child pick out his books from the reading list, and gave him the B&N discount card and my credit card, since I was only 6 ft away in the cafe', and they actually let him run it through and sign it himself.
That gave him the bright idea that he could buy himself a sandwich, which of course he couldn't because it had wheat.
He yanked the cards from me and I've learned enough not to get physical with-him, so I walked over to the cashiers and told them not to let him buy any food with-my card because he was allergic to wheat. They were great about it. He kicked me in the ankle and I told him he was going to suffer consequences. He swore (Sh*t and F***) and drew a few looks.
He then tried to take my car keys and refused to retn the credit card. I finally got him to give the keys back, but the cards he threw on the floor and refused to pick up. (My friend got a good dose of his defiance.)
He disappeared, but showed up about 10 min. later in the cafe', sat on one of the tall bar stools, and read his assigned reading as though nothing had happened.
(My friend was kind enough to give me an "atta girl, he's going to be fine" in the ladies rm but it was so general ... I called her at home at dinnertime for more specifics. She said he was very defiant yet it was clear he knew what he was supposed to be doing but just couldn't "get there.")
As we left B&N, his mood darkened and he wanted food (there's no doubt in my mind that he's hypoglycemic), so I tried Chic-father in law-et, which had a line all the way to Brazil, then drove to Taco Bell. I did not ask him what he wanted, just ordered 2 of everything, then parked and ate my portion in the car, knowing that the smell would entice him to eat eventually. He played with-the sauce packet and it squirted all over the crotch of his trousers and I burst out laughing. Of course, he had to pull out the rest of the sauce packets and play with-them like a 2-yr-old, but I kept my cool, thinking that he was going to spend a lot of time cleaning my car later on.
We drove to husband's clinic, where we were both going to get adjustments, and difficult child refused to get out of the car.
I stayed inside for 30 min, and came out to get him. He insisted he wanted to go home and stay in his rm and play, and I told him that I refused to be around him when he treated me poorly, and his consequence was to spend the rest of the day with-Dad at the ofc.
difficult child finally went inside (in fact, he was so stiff from camp and driving that he could barely get out of the car and he really needed an adjustment) and then called me on my cell ph to come back, because he'd left his book in the car. I drove back and gave it to him and he smiled sweetly just as though nothing had happened. He even wanted to cuddle with-me on the couch in the reception area.
Meanwhile, I'm wiped out and angry and useless for the rest of the day.
husband took him to a friend's house (the 14-yr-old whose mom is in TX for a mo)--sheesh, great consequences, let's play all their video games--but at least he's not at home irritating me. They are eating dinner and I just called husband to remind him that difficult child may not play video games (that's a reward and he's supposed to have consequences) and it's a good thing I called, because husband said B. was playing videos and they were watching. Arrgh!
The month difficult child was away at camp went way too fast and I feel like I'm right back where I started from. I don't know how I'm going to handle the next 10 yrs.
The counselor talked to difficult child about "how do you eat an elephant," (tolerance, patience, fortitude, one piece at a time) so I think that's what I have to do... just take one day at a time and try not to think about the rest.
I am so tired. And I only spent 3 hrs with-him today.
