Back from Christmas with the Family

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by StressedM0mma, Dec 27, 2011.

  1. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    And it went pretty well considering how the Holiday began. Christmas Eve was a disaster at best. difficult child asked me to take her to target to buy easy child her Christmas gift. easy child had mentioned that she wanted to start wearing more makeup. difficult child spent an hour or so picking out shades and colors that she thought would look good on easy child. (difficult child has an amazing eye for makeup and does hers to perfection most days.) She spent about $35 on all of it. I offered to help pay for it, and she declined because she wanted it to be just from her. Well, easy child opened it and difficult child offered to show her how to use it. difficult child did easy child's eyes, and easy child looked really nice. Well, easy child went looked at herself and says "Nice, I look like I have a black eye!" I saw the hurt in difficult child's face, and knew things were going to go south. difficult child really looks up to easy child even though she would never admit it. And, it crushed her that easy child didn't thank her or show any appreciation. Then, I mentioned to easy child she should have been nicer. Then, easy child gets huffy. Nice. Merry Christmas to me.

    Then, Christmas Eve night difficult child said she couldn't sleep so I stayed with her. I fell asleep, and she woke me about 1:30am. She had a major meltdown. Basically an all out temper tantrum. She was kicking her feet like she was swimming and whining and screaming. She kept telling me that she couldn't make her brain stop, and she just wanted to sleep. Everything I did would just make it worse, so I just left her room for awhile and let her carry on. Finally around 3 she managed to calm down long enough to an emotional puke fest. I just listened and validated everything she was saying. I told her if she just wanted to stay home for Christmas and not go to my moms that it would be fine. She said no she wanted to go. So we woke up around 8 opened presents and left home @ 11 for our 2 1/2 hr. drive.

    She held it together the entire time we were gone. I am fully expecting a meltdown either tonight or tomorrow. I hate when she has one. But, will deal with it. Hopefully in therapy she will learn how to handle it better.
     
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry easy child didn't show more appreciation. Sounds so very much like my easy child/difficult child. I know she didn't thank difficult child for the gift he got her (picked out and paid for by us because he doesn't have much money) and didn't get him a gift even though husband had asked her to.

    How nice that difficult child held it together at your mom's. I'm praying that the expected meltdown doesn't come. (((hugs)))
     
  3. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Wow hugs...you seem to be handling it so maturely and objectively tho. Kudos.
    How is she doing tonight?
     
  4. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I may be way off base, but this is just a thought. Do you think that difficult child's tantrum during the night was a result of the way that easy child treated her? I know that sometimes when someone does something that I consider to be hurtful towards me, like what easy child said to difficult child after she did her makeup for her, it tends to spin around and around in my head, and it has, at times caused me trouble sleeping. Maybe she was really upset about easy child's reaction to her gift?

    Truthfully, I think that difficult child's gift to easy child was a great idea and I was sad to read how easy child treated her.
     
  5. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Steely while I try to be on top of difficult child's behaviors and act like it doesn't bug me, it tears me up inside. I hardly sleep most nights. That is usually when she wants me the most, or when she has the worst tantrums seem to hit. Bunny, I think that was a big part of what was going on. She let it fester all evening, and then it sort of exploded. (At 1:30 of course.) She is teetering today, so we will see how things go today.
     
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    If the worst stuff always hits at night... could it be related to the timing of the medications?
    Not that there is necessarily an obviously better timing, but it could explain some of what is happing.
    In which case there might be something else she can take at bedtime to help bridge her until morning?
     
  7. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Well, I know even on Christmas Eve she still had some of the Wellbutrin in her. And, the Wellbutrin was making her rage. But, who knows. I still have to call the psychiatrist. and tell her I baled on the Wellbutrin and went back to the lower dose of Zoloft.
     
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