Back in an orange jumpsuit....

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by DDD, Jul 21, 2007.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Yep. easy child/difficult child was in a car with two other guys and the car was stopped for ??? whatever. No drugs or booze involved. The cop
    ran his name and pulled out the cuffs telling him "you have a warrant for violation of probation". His friend called me around
    1:00 and told me. He asked the policeman "do you know what the
    VOP is?" The answer was "Nope."

    Well, I am 99% sure I know what it is! :rolleyes:

    About three weeks ago, easy child/difficult child got drunk as a skunk and one of the
    men in blue took him to jail "until he was sober enough to leave"
    but there were no charges filed. easy child/difficult child got out and told me that
    there were no charges. I replied "but I bet there will be a VOP
    filed". "No way!" says my kid, the expert on the system.

    A week later he went for his monthly Probation office meeting
    and when he got in the car said "See??" I smiled and said "Son
    you really lucked out, evidently. You should thank God that you
    got a bye and make sure you don't mess up again."

    That has got to be it. I am detached enough that I am not upset.
    Even with the brain damage he knows he needs to avoid drugs and
    alcohol. He is the one making the choices. He is the one who
    has to pay the consequences. :hammer:

    My big problem is that those idiots will not accept medications from me
    or our pharmacy. We'll have to wait for "their" MD to decide he
    needs the medications and then "their" pharmacy has to prepare his pills
    in a blister pack and deliver it to the jail etc. etc. He may
    go two days without his anti-seizure medication. That worries me
    but I know there is nothing I can do about it.

    We've been coasting on the roller coaster for awhile, I guess a
    ride on the down side was to be expected. DDD
  2. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Hopefully the roller coaster will start going up hill again soon.

    And to think the difficult child's around here that we want picked up to get them off the streets, never get picked up. How many parents actually call letting them know where there child is hoping to get them off the street and some help and nothing happens, but look what happens to yours every time he turns around.

    Glad your detatched enough to not let this get to you too much.
  3. saving grace

    saving grace New Member

    DDD, Sorry your back on the ride for now.

    I was thinking of the roller coaster statement. We use that alot when referring to our lives of ups and downs, I recently visited an amusement park and was in complete astonsishment of how intense these new rollar coasters are. They are twists and turns and flips that would scare the best of riders into peeing their pants.
    They just keep making them more and more scary. That has to say something for our lives and the old saying of life is like a rollar coaster?

  4. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I hope it takes a short time for their MD to give him his medication. How long will he be in there? I'm hoping he learns something and glad you are detatched about this.(((hugs))).-Alyssa
  5. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Oh sheesh. Never a dull moment, huh?

    I'm so sorry you're going through this again.

    Sending mega hugs, my friend
  6. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    they just dont change their ways do they> it makes me angry. they think they are teflon. all we can do is not go on the ride with them. I hope your grandson gets proper care while in jail. I am sorry, even though we get more hardened to it, we still wish they would STOP it. see my post on ant on general. I am working on it now.
  7. CAmom

    CAmom Member

    DDD, I'm so sorry to read this. It can get SO discouraging. I admire you for your ability to detach as much as you've done. In the end, that's the only answer as I'm learning.
  8. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    (((((DDD))))) Prayers sent your way.

    Using a roller coaster to describe a difficult child's life is even more accurate than the twists and turns: think of how long it takes for the ride to go up (tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick) and just a couple seconds to plummet.

    As in, you work and fight so hard to get things going right, and it is a long hard road...then one stupid choice, everything comes crashing.

  9. guest3

    guest3 Guest

    Hugs and prayers
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Interesting thoughts on coasters, Grace. The BIG BAD ride in
    Tampa is called something like the Shreikra and everyone talked
    about how scarey the ride was. Guess what??? The theme park
    people removed (Yep, Removed!) the little platform that you rest
    your feet on so the ride is now your feet

    Sometimes I think of that and it represents how the ante gets
    upped with difficult child's even after you "think" you've lived through the

    What a life we live! I expect he will be kept 2 or 3 weeks before the VOP hearing. As you all know, where we live there is
    no anticipating what the court may of the local Judges
    could decide to send the kid to Sing Sing. Good Grief...I'm trying to be funny with very, very sick humour! DDD
  11. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Nothing but hugs from here.
  12. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    DDD, sorry this has happened. I am glad you are detached and can see this as one more thing that comes with life with a difficult child.

    I am waiting for the call that my difficult child has been pulled over so he can get his jumpsuit (not sure of the color)

    Hope he gets his medications! Stay strong!

  13. saving grace

    saving grace New Member

    D, if humor is getting you through this then joke away. What else do we have left? I will tell you this, I am not riding any of those coasters any time soon, I ride my own every day and thats about all I can handle, I dont trust them.

    Just when you thought easy child/difficult child's book was nearing the end, he just added a few more chapters. Dont worry triple D he will get to the end of his book and it will be a happy ending. It may take awhile but he will get there.

  14. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    :smile: OMG!!!! :thumbsdown: :crazy2: I am just floored. This just certainly goes towards "one never knows what's next with a difficult child". Things can be running somewhat smoothly then kapowie it all goes to heck in a handbasket :nonono:

    It's back on the road of wondering again. Does gfgmom know? hows husband holding up?

    Sorry my friend, I didn't even address your emotional state. I guess detached is all one can feel at this point.

    I guess I'm irritated and saddened :crying: at the same time because you know as well as I could be any one of our difficult child's just happens to be yours this time.

    {({(Sunny hugs})})} :warrior:
  15. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Thanks. I'm hanging in quite well. I am grateful that easy child/difficult child is
    like a cameleon. He adapts to his surroundings and I don't have
    to worry about his safety. Of course, I do have to worry about his future because his combo issues of addiction and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) bodes
    very poorly for a happy ending.

    husband and I are still in our PJ's at We have read two
    newspapers without any kid to interrupt. We have had breakfast
    and lunch when we wanted and what we wanted. The word has spread
    evidently because, unlike yesterday, his friends ?? are not showing up at the door or calling to see where he is.

    Today is not a bad day. DDD

    Of course, each day is better because I know I have you guys!
  16. Merris

    Merris New Member

    DDD - I'm so glad to hear you're holding up okay. Why are these kids so STUPID? Why do they take these chances? I guess you've finally realized that we'll never know the answers to those questions.

    I wish you peace my friend, and I am here if you need me.

  17. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    D3, I'm so sorry.

  18. judi

    judi Active Member

    Want to add my concern too. We try mightily to detach but the stress still does add up. Please take care.
  19. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    A girlfriend (platonic difficult child) says that "maybe" his VOP is because
    every month when you sign in to see your PO you have a paper to
    fill in that includes the question "have you had any contact with the police this month?" IF easy child/difficult child didn't remember to write
    down his "sleep it off" experience and note it...that would also
    be a VOP.

    That's why we are not surprised that he is back in orange. It
    is impossible for him to stay away from drugs, booze, other people who may or may not have drugs on their person or, for instance, may be smoking a blunt that without a sense of smell
    looks exactly like the cigars that husband smokes. He can not follow
    all the rules for five years. Sad but true.

    Thanks for the caring support. He's no angel but he's ours! DDD
  20. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    3D---Sorry. I understand your frustration with both easy child/difficult child and the legal system. The system doesn't work for addicts with mental illness---it is not designed for "our" kids. Unfortunately, the justice system doesn't see the addiction and the illness as justification for their actions. I wish I knew an answer. I wish there was a magic pill (and knowing difficult child if it were illegal he would take it) that would take away the addiction---maybe then dealing with the mental health issues would be easier! Hugs to you. Hang in there.