Back in custody!

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by toughlovin, Jun 18, 2014.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    So I am having a wonderful vacation....but have not heard from difficult child other than him liking something on FB. Overall I have just had the feeling he was spiraling downhill....and a part of me has been angry and ready to let go even more, So he had drug court today and so I texted him and the coordinator as to how it went. He is in custody because he was caught where he wasn't supposed to be huffing whip cream and with a bottle of booze! I am not at all surprised and am relieved in a I know where he is and he is being held accountable. Takes the onus off me.

    I think this time in jail there will be no canteen money...and I will only visit if he calls and asks us too.

    So I am going to enjoy the rest of our vacation!

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  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I am happy to hear that you are going to enjoy the rest of your vacation. It is a relief when the other shoe finally drops. We can quit holding our breath and dreading the phone ringing.
  3. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Enjoy your vacation! Hopefully being in jail will help him. If not atleast you know where he is and that there are people there keeping him safe.
  4. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Oh crud is about all I can muster for difficult child. You, however, get two thumbs up for enjoying your vacation anyway and putting things in perspective. Have a wonderful time with easy child.
  5. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    TL enjoy that vacation knowing he is safe and back into a reality check. I agree no canteen money and only visits when it is convenient for you if and when you want to. I sense you are detaching more and that's good.
  6. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    I am so impressed with how you are handling things TL.
    I hope you and your daughter continue to have a enjoyable vacation time together...she deserves it...and so do you!

    I hope difficult child will come to realise that he continues to pay consequences for breaking rules and especially using substances. I am glad he is safe from further harming himself.

    Now...back to enjoying your vacation.
  7. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    TL, I am sorry that he made yet another bad decision for himself. You, on the other hand, are very much entitled to have a great vacation no matter what anybody else decides to do with their own lives. So keep having a great time!

    TL, I quit putting money on difficult child's jail account once I learned that he would barter the funds when playing cards, which is something they do a lot of in jail. Here I was, putting $40 on his account frequently at the same time his dad was putting $$ on his account---because he was telling me his feet were cold and he needed socks, plus the food was awful, so he was buying energy bars, plus his boxers were down to two pair, and "they don't even give us deodorant" and actually----he was using my money to gamble to pass the time instead of going to their AA meetings and other classes.

    No more money.

    And guess what? It must not be that bad in jail because he keeps going back!

    Enjoy the sunshine!
  8. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Lol...I think my difficult child used the canteen money for junk food....I never thought my difficult child would be overweight because he was always thin and lean but he gained a lot of weight last maybe no canteen will help him get back into shape! I hasn't thought about him gambling with it but that is very possible! And you are right it cant be that bad because he keeps going back!

    They are looking for another placement for him but I am staying out of it this time!

    I am glad I saw this coming and did some work on detaching before I left. I put our phone on silent last night before going to bed. He did call and leave a msg that he was back in jail and would try again. Guess he will call us now that he needs us for something!

    I don't know what it's going to take for him to do things differently.....


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