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back pain
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 267974" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Passive aggressive. You're supposed to be feelnig sorry for him and mothering him, so he can lie back, lap it up and be in control. </p><p></p><p>That doesn't mean he's not in pain - but the pain can be useful to him as well.</p><p></p><p>If you rush around making his appointments for him, then he won't respect tham (as you've found) and still won't talk to you.</p><p></p><p>WHat we do - it stopped any of those tendencies in husband, cold - we go in to doctor's appointments together, as a team. I'm there to help him remember what to tell the doctor, and also to help him remember what the doctor said to him. I'm there for support. And vice versa.</p><p></p><p>We don't get to every appoinment we each have, but we get to enough so that it helps.</p><p></p><p>You could suggest it, ask him about going in with him for support because you KNOW he's in pain and you care about him.</p><p></p><p>See hoe he reacts. If he's happy using the passive aggressive option, he is likely to refuse you coming along. But if you do it with a servile arttitude, you might gian entry. And once you're in there - you have entree to call the doctor later on, on his behalf.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 267974, member: 1991"] Passive aggressive. You're supposed to be feelnig sorry for him and mothering him, so he can lie back, lap it up and be in control. That doesn't mean he's not in pain - but the pain can be useful to him as well. If you rush around making his appointments for him, then he won't respect tham (as you've found) and still won't talk to you. WHat we do - it stopped any of those tendencies in husband, cold - we go in to doctor's appointments together, as a team. I'm there to help him remember what to tell the doctor, and also to help him remember what the doctor said to him. I'm there for support. And vice versa. We don't get to every appoinment we each have, but we get to enough so that it helps. You could suggest it, ask him about going in with him for support because you KNOW he's in pain and you care about him. See hoe he reacts. If he's happy using the passive aggressive option, he is likely to refuse you coming along. But if you do it with a servile arttitude, you might gian entry. And once you're in there - you have entree to call the doctor later on, on his behalf. Marg [/QUOTE]
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