Back with news on Evaluation

[artana]

Hello,
I was here for a bit, but I withdrew because I was very depressed for a while. I am four days away from completing my Masters and I thought about dropping it because of the stress of helping my older son.

So, the news. difficult child was evaluated by the school psychologist. His IQ is in the gifted range, which we knew, but he definitely has social impairment. He has been given a diagnosis of autism (mild) with some ADHD like behaviors. They are discussing how to best serve him with a GIEP given he doesn't need academic help. They are beginning a social skills curriculum in the spring and will place him in it. He'll get to practice with his peers how to behave appropriately. He is also working with an Occupational Therapist (OT) to deal with his writing issues and his sensory overload problems.

I think that this is a good diagnosis, as hard as it has been to come to terms with it. There is a wonderful behavior therapist at the school who created a behavior plan for him that has really been working. They have also all admitted that he doesn't really show any defiant behavior, but instead seems completely disconnected from the class, where he hates being in group activities, so will wander off and pick up a book.

It's hard to think he is like that at school. At home he is warm, loving and imaginative. He plays with the neighborhood kids and loves doing so. I think it might be more of an issue with the size of crowd rather than with people in general. He has always been a picky eater and hates having his hands dirty.

Either way, we have our diagnosis and are applying for the support they have here in PA.

 

[1 Day At a Time]

Artrana,

I know that this news is difficult to digest. But I am so excited that the school is working with your difficult child, and will have more assistance to offer him. I think that this will be a wonderful assistance for you and your family in the coming years.

This approach is so far from our experience. It took us many years to get our difficult child's diagnosis and the school has fought us every step of the way for many years now. It sounds as though you won't have that particular layer to deal with.

That being said, it does take time to process all of this information. Our difficult child is a sweet, loving, and very loyal guy. He has much to offer the world. I know that your difficult child does as well. Visit often with us... we understand much of what you are dealing with.

Take care.

 

[SRL]

Hi Artana,

It's always hard coming to terms with a diagnosis. Our dreams for having a "normal" child get ruffled and are replaced with uncertainty. I can assure you that a year down the road you'll likely be more comfortable, and in fact just may be encouraging other parents yourself.

It sounds like you're on the right track in getting him services and I'm glad that the school is being cooperative. Kids who are atypical spectrumy kids often really benefit from social skills training so I'm pleased that they have included that.

SRL

 

[artana]

Thank you guys for responding. I have been working up to handling this diagnosis all school year as I've seen his behaviors and realized that he really needs help. It is still very difficult.

I'm just trying to get through the last four days of my masters so I can focus fully on the children again.

 

[JLady]

I can so relate to what you just said. We are new to having a diagnosis and it is hard to digest. I have been so depressed the last couple of days and I'm doing my best not to let it interfer with what I have to do. I too am in my Master's program. I have one more semester to go and I look forward to being able to spend more focused time with my 7 yr old son. You are definately not alone. I'm right there with you.

 

[Jena]

First hi and welcome because I've never welcomed you.

Receiving a diagnosis is so difficult, it's almost like an overload on us. That is how it felt to me at least. Ours came slowly though, very slowly.

Working on a masters as well, that's very impressive good for you. I'm glad to hear that the school is working with you so well and that you will be getting the services that you need for him.

I wish you luck with finishing up the degree and with moving forward with the school. As far as the diagnosis is concerned it'll settle in your mind in time, like most things it takes times to digest. Just be patient with yourself.

 

[Nancy423]

I am also going to school right now and when my difficult child was arrested I had to make a decision on whether to finish this program or put all my attention toward difficult child. After that happened, I thought school might have been taking away some time with both kids and that's why she acted out and got into a serious situation. Talk about feeling guilty.

But my questions to you are: what would your son gain by you quitting? Would you be doing anything different than you are now? Is that difference worth putting your future on hold? Are your instructors willing to work around your family issues? Having mine tell me my kids/family comes first made it a much better experience for me. And I don't feel guilty for missing a few classes because I had to take care of difficult child.

sometimes we forget that we are human too. We have needs, wants, goals and aspirations. If we don't keep ourselves happy and satisfied, then we aren't helping anyone around us.

It's 4 days. Congratulations on making it this far ((HUGS)). I still have clinic duty for the next 5 months but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...

 

[artana]

JLady, Jennifer, and Nancy,
Thank you guys so much for all the encouragement. Nancy, yes, 5 months is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel. I do online classes, so I have to do my own time management. This was part of the difficulty, since I always have to make the decision whether to be with my son or get online and do homework.
That said...today is the last day!! My kids and I will soon start on a week vacation where I will get to take them to museums and such every day. We will do sleepovers in the living room with popcorn and movies and bake cookies for Santa. And I'll have time to do all that!! I'm so excited!! And, I'm saving up money to go for a weekend indoor water park trip.
I feel very gifted this time of year with my kids. I keep watching their behavior and telling myself, they're rebellious sometimes, they have trouble with expressing anger correctly, but they do not hurt others on purpose and they care about whether or not they disappoint me.