I was telling someone about my plans if something ever happened to me and if I couldn't care for difficult child. It must have sunk in my subconscious because: I had a terrible dream that I had just had some kind of surgery and a generous doctor had done it all for free. Then he came to me and said there was a woman who needed a liver and we were a perfect match. He said he had the surgery all set up. I at first agreed because she was right next to me and her kids needed her. But then when he walked out I asked questions and found out I might have all these complications (yes I know in real life you need your liver!) and might grow forever and all these other crazy things. Then I said to her I am so sorry but I can't do it, I have a child to care for. The doctor came back and she told him so he said he was going to kick me out and I was going to have to pay huge bills. I actually re-thought it. I had to hold the woman's hand and appologize. I tried to call other doctors to see if there was another way, could she have half my liver? This guy wanted me to give it all. I woke so upset. I wanted to go back to sleep and get a patient advocate and do all the normal things I would do but I just had to work thru it myself. Yuck.