Bad news from DCFS

[JJJ]

In the wonderful logic of DCFS, Kanga is not a danger to the other children because she hasn't lived her in 3 months (due to psychiatric hospital). The investigator was hostile and threatening. She asked if we wanted to give up our rights to Kanga. She threatened to take the other children. She accused me of coaching the others in what to say to her. She terrified Eeyore by saying, Kanga is coming home soon.

When I asked her if she finishes her investigation and declares that we must take Kanga home and she hurts another child in our home, does she understand that we will hold her and DCFS responsible? She changed the subject.

She said the only thing that would help us is if an MD puts in writing that Kanga should not be allowed to return home at this time due to the risk she poses to the others. I have TWO PhD reports that say that, and an MD report that says "Kanga is aggressive and homicidal in the home environment and I recommend residential treatment." But that is not enough...

 

[timer lady]

JJJ,

Do not let these people bully you. Hold them responsible for any & all trauma inflicted on your other children by them as well as Kanga. Setting a child off by the interview tactics used is unacceptable & unprofessional. Next time,if there is a next time tape the interviews - please.

Ask this person why the MDs statement is unacceptable. Don't let her bully you about the other children. This is a worker who is burnt out & would find it easier to place your other children than to find a place for Kanga. Again - unacceptable. They tried that with kt - wm was far more difficult to find a placement for; however kt was not going to be displaced once again due to wm's illness.

The same for your kids - this is not their problem. It is Kanga's & they should not be punished nor displaced because a DCFS worker cannot find someplace for Kanga. If that is the case, Kanga needs to stay in the phospital.

I'm so frustrated for you. Know that everytime you are meeting with one of these workers or in a meeting, I'm on your shoulder lending you strength.

 

[BusynMember]

The logic of DCFS!!!!
Even after the child we adopted from NJ sexually abused my two younger kids, and their information had said, "no diagnosis, really nice kid, no emotional problems, etc." we couldn't do anything about it. They didn't take one iota of responsibility.

 

[Lothlorien]

Three letters from three different doctors?? Oh, for goodness sakes! Sounds like she is definitely on a power trip.

 

[smallworld]

JJJ, I'm really sorry. This truly defies logic. Hugs to you.

 

[nvts]

Escalate, escalate, escalate. Call and talk to her supervisor and invite him/her in to look at the information. Let them know that your next step is to get a lawyer AND whatever investigative reporter from the News to come in.

Hang in there! We're behind you!

Beth

 

[sandman3]

I would definitely get this person's supervisor involved, and REPORT her for the way SHE treated your children. Unacceptable! Just go above her head, and if the supervisor won't help, go above his/her head. Don't stop calling higher ups until you get the help and respect you and your family deserve!

GIANT (((((((((((( HUGS ))))))))))) TO YOU!

 

[KTMom91]

Sounds to me like the investigator just wants a quick fix...I'm so sorry. Lots of hugs to you.

 

[meowbunny]

Gotta love the thinking of the petty bureaucrat! Anything to not spend more money, not take any responsibiity. The emotional bullying is just incredible. I'm truly sorry you're having to put up with this.

Do stand firm. Go over this witch's head if at all possible. I found that a lot of the threats are posturing in the hopes you'll back down. If you keep saying this is the way it has to be, that it is in the best interests of the child (and, in your case, the children still in your home), you can get some results. For me, it did reach the court level when I threatened to disrupt the adoption because I was getting absolutely no assistance. While my daughter was still in my home, I was demanding that they either assist with an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or take her back -- I could no longer continue parenting under the present conditions. I was accused of child abuse (totally unfounded), child abandonment (um, she was still in my home) and a few other miscellaneous charges all brought by CPS at the behest of one social worker. All charges were dismissed at the second hearing and adoption services was ordered to assist me. There was no reason for it to reach that level other than it would have saved the county some money and the resources of a social worker.

That we as parents have to fight so hard to help our children is truly obscene. I'm sorry you're having to battle like this. Do keep reminding them that they will be held responsible for the damage caused by Kanga returning home -- to her, to your family, to anyone else she might harm. Put it in writing. This seems to get the most attention. Stinks, but that's the way it is.

I'm so sorry.

 

[klmno]

JJJ, I'm wondering if there is a way to get this heard before a judge. If so, when you try getting the supervisor to "rethink" this decision, send them a letter with copies of letters from these docs and your own lists of incidences, etc. Then, try to get their reponse in writing.

Not quite the same situation, but we had several legal people threaten me and difficult child with legal action if I didn't give difficult child a certain therapy and DO EVERYTHING this therapist said (it was a therapy ordered by the judge- on GAL's recommendations). I had letter from 2 psychiatrists saying this wasn't recommended, and what was recommended. They tried to tell me that I couldn't appeal it, that I could go to jail, that difficult child could be removed, and when I said I would take it to a higher court if this judge could or would not "review" these letters (no one had told the judge I had these letters- too many power mongels involved), the PO tried to tell me just write a letter to the judge and include copies of documents and judge would choose what to do. Then, I found out that the judge DOES NOT receive (personally) what is mailed in - it goes straight into the juvenile's file and it is not read or looked at until they ever need to look into that file again. So, the ONLY way, here at least, to get a judge to look at it is to go into clerk's office and file for a hearing (get a copy of that request), attach the docs. to the request, and that assures a judge looks at it because they have to look at the request- then they choose whether or not to have a hearing, but it makes very high up people responsible if you have done that and it was refused and things turn out badly- the judge will know that so will probably approve the hearing. In our case, the judge had a hearing and changed her own previous order, and the other little power mongels didn't look so good when I explained and showed proof that I had tried to discuss this matter with them so as not to take up the judge's time, and this is what they had told me "XXX, XXX". And, in our case, it actually looked better that it was me who had filed for the hearing because (and testified to) wanting to do what was right but being a responsible parent, I had to take initiative to "raise red flags" when there was reason to believe this action could lead to harm. It made me look like the rational one and the others look almost incompetent- even after they had been the ones to question my "appropriateness" as a parent.

Just a thought..

 

[BusynMember]

Wow, klmno. Glad to know the forces aren't invincible. No matter what we did, DCFS got angrier and angrier. We went over the worker's head, her supervisor sided with her. I got a lawyer, he said there is little we can do because DCFS is a branch of the government and one branch won't go against another. I'm glad the system worked for you, albeit after a big pain in the neck time for your family!

 

[klmno]

It was a risk, MM, and I heard all the same things- even some question from my own attny. And, it might backfire on me since difficult child got in trouble again. But, there was no risk of injury to anyone with this trouble and if the judge hadn't turned this around and anyone had gotten hurt, even if it had only bee difficult child, how would it have looked in the press? I can tell you, it didn't go well until they all knew that I was willing to go to jail if I had to in order to prevent doing what they were telling me.

 

[witzend]

Honestly, I would write her supervisor and tell them to start the proceedings to take your rights to Kanga away and you won't fight it. They can also threaten to take them all, and you will fight that. I'd also let them know in no uncertain terms that you will not have your children bullied and intimidated by this dimwit, and there will be recording devices present any time she contacts you or your children in the future for your protection.

They don't want Kanga or the bills that go with her. They don't want your other kids, and won't fight too hard to get them along with Kanga. It's just a nasty threat.

 

[Hopeless]

I have no words of wisdom, just wanted to say I am behind you and your family 110%. This is total bull that they are trying to pull on you. I cannot believe with all you have documented that they are willing to risk everyone's wellbeing.

I would definitely get an attorney and see what your next options are on placing Kanga outside the home.

I just do not understand the system and why or how they think it would be best to place Kanga back in the home or to remove your other children. You have done nothing but try and get Kanga help and keep your other children safe. Which is what any parent would do.

Huge Hugs to you.

 

[susiestar]

JJJ,

I am so very sorry. This just should not be. Please file complaints against this sw. She should never have tried to bully you or the kids. They did this to Jess when difficult child was in the hospital and it took years to repair the damage.

I am pulling for you.

Hugs,

Susie

 

[DDD]

Just sending a supportive hug. DDD

 

[Star*]

PUT IT IN WRITING _ EXACTLY what you said to this woman about YOU will hold HER responsible - and mail a copy of that to your governor WITH the copies of letters from the 2 psychs that said Kanga can't come home - and DO include the facts about what she told your daughter Eeyore - NOT HER PLACE to say ANYTHING to her. (idgit)

Timer is right - and so are we - DO NOT LET HER BULLY HER - SHE can go home at night and sleep = you and your house will NOT if Kanga comes home. And worse - if you do NOT document that conversation with the caseworker with a letter to the governors office - and your psychiatric docs - (c copy all) then God forbid someone did get hurt in the future it would be YOUR fault as nothing is in writing -

PAPER TRAIL ------

Hugs
So sorry for you all
Star

 

[tammyjh]

So sorry JJJ and sending HUGE (((((hugs)))))
My difficult child's clinician at the last hospital was a subject changer. They failed to provide us with a treatment plan or acknowledge that we were calling asking for meetings. When I asked what the treatment plan was and stated that I wanted to sign it, she promptly said she had a meeting and hung up on me. They would not budge on discharging difficult child and even though she was physically aggressive with me during discharge, nothing was done....the clinician just stood there with a fake smile painted on her face. We've been in contact with the Disability Rights Center in our area but they're still in the paperwork collecting phase...I know its not nearly to the degree as what you are dealing with but wanted to say that you have my thoughts and prayers as you deal with this.
(((((hugs)))))

 

[Steely]

I wish I had words of wisdom - but I agree with the others - keep fighting! Never take no for an answer! You know what needs to happen, and I know you have the power to make that happen. This is just a minor obstacle to your destination.

Sending many hugs, I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you.

 

[flutterbee]

JJJ -

I probably shouldn't be knowing how the government works and what you've been through, but I continue to just be floored by the kind of cr@p you're having to go through in order to help Kanga and protect your family.

It's time you caught a break.

(((((hugs)))))