bad news tonight

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by babyblue31, Jun 7, 2009.

  1. babyblue31

    babyblue31 New Member

    I got a call from friend tonight and it was kinda like desav for me. He had to tell his 2 oldest kids that their mother was murdered. I tried to be strong and help but my mind flooded with memiores of when I had to tell my son that his father was murdered and the tears flowed, And I had to get off the phone. I feel bad that I couldn't help my friend when he needed me the most.
    It will be 2 years in november sence the love of my life and my sons father was murdered, I had been doing good up until tonight. althrough I know I'm not I feel weak, because I wasn't able to control the uncontrolable. I know it may sound crazy, But I didn't want to cry like again like over it. Not that it doesn't still hurt I just don't want to give the person who did it the happiness in knowing of my saddiness, Is that wrong to feel that way.
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I am so sorry! Memories come flooding back when we are placed in or hear about similar situations.

    I understand that you feel your tears will give the criminal another satisfaction of hurting you. However, your tears also show others how much you did love your husband, how special he was to you. Your son needs to know that you do miss his dad and that dad will always be in your heart. True, your son will not understand your tears and may be afraid when you cry so it would be best not to cry in front of him. However, go ahead and revisit those feelings. You have supressed them and this is another healthy chance to get them out.

    Maybe it will help to start a journal of stories to be passed onto your son when he is older. Describe how you met your husband, how he was special to you, ect.

    I am so sorry for the loss of your friend's wife. He has a very hard thing to do in telling the kids - you know more about how hard than I do. I hope he has someone nearby that can sit with him. It is o.k. that it may not be you because your emotions are still very strong and may make the news harder for the kids.

    Give your sweet boy a hug for me.

    How is your son doing these days?
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I'm so very sorry for your loss, and your friend's loss as well.

    I'm sure your friend understands why you were having trouble offering comfort. Doesn't mean you won't necessarily be able to later down the road.

  4. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    It sounds like you have had more than your fair share of tradegy--and now your friend, too! I feel just awful for you.....

    Will it really give the murderer satisfaction to know that you continue to mourn the loss? I cannot imagine that anyone cruel enough to perpetrate such a crime would have any depth of feeling one way or another.

    And not to get started on anything controversial here--but it has always been my feeling that criminals should be punished according to the length of time it takes to restore their victims to a sense of "wholeness". For some crimes, there will never be wholeness for their victims or their loved ones.

    And if that means that the criminals has to rot in jail for eternity, so be it.

    I am so sorry for what has been done to you and your friend. I hope that there will be some way that you will eventually be able to find a sense of peace.

  5. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    How incredibly sad! I'm sorry for all of your losses. What a painful time.

  6. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending hugs, warm thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry that this recent event has brought back all that pain from your own experience.

    Try not to be concerned with whatever pleasure the murderer may/may not gain in you shedding your tears. Letting that out is what you may need right now and that is all that matters.

    I'm sure your friend can understand why this may be a difficult situation for you.