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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 135393" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>Michele,</p><p> </p><p>That's a load of questions in one post!! I guess the first thing I would say is that we do have to depend on ourselves, rather than relying on others. I think that if you do have a support system of friends and family who are willing to step in and help every now and then, that's great. But with families scattered, and us being the parents of difficult children, it's tough. Not too many parents are willing to "swap" time if our kids have behaviors they are not comfortable with. Heck, it's tough to even get an invitation to a birthday party!</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps one thing that would help would be for you to find a local support group. Ask difficult child's t or psychiatrist about any local support groups he or she may know about that have other parents dealing with the same issues. It could be a great place to meet friends and you may find another single parent willing to do some swapping.</p><p> </p><p>As far as the housekeeping goes, I found myself, about two years ago, becomming totally overwhelmed with it. I am really particular about the house and I was slowing killing myself with stress trying to get it all done. For me, the solution was to hire a crew. I interviewed five companies and settled on one that was not the cheapest, but who I felt would do a good job and be sensative to my furniture and collectibles. It's not cheap, but I will tell you it is like a weight was lifted from my shoulders! Having them come in every two weeks and clean from top to bottom is a life saver. I have them do it every other week because of the expense, but also have a deep cleaning every other week does make it easier to keep up with the rest of the time.</p><p> </p><p>In regards to meals, my sister, when first seperated from her husband, faced some of the same issues you are dealing with. She worked really long hours and had little time to cook. She found this company/service in her area (northern va) where you go and, for a price, cook like two weeks worth of meals - and they are healthy! You pay a particular price and you go and cook everything at one time. You obviously use their facility and their equipment but you have these great meals that all you have to do is heat and serve (and I guess add salad or something). My sister did this many, many times and there are a number of woman who do it at one time.</p><p> </p><p>I have to say that I did not read that comment about people working full time for stuff over on the wc. If I had, I think I would have responded! I believe that being a single parent is a really tough job - I'm with you there. I am fortunate that my ex bonehead does support us some financially (for the time being!), but my kids needs are greater than that (great than financial I mean).</p><p> </p><p>I think you should only lower your expectations, in any area of your life, if they are preventing you from moving forward or causing you self-inflicted stress.</p><p> </p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 135393, member: 805"] Michele, That's a load of questions in one post!! I guess the first thing I would say is that we do have to depend on ourselves, rather than relying on others. I think that if you do have a support system of friends and family who are willing to step in and help every now and then, that's great. But with families scattered, and us being the parents of difficult children, it's tough. Not too many parents are willing to "swap" time if our kids have behaviors they are not comfortable with. Heck, it's tough to even get an invitation to a birthday party! Perhaps one thing that would help would be for you to find a local support group. Ask difficult child's t or psychiatrist about any local support groups he or she may know about that have other parents dealing with the same issues. It could be a great place to meet friends and you may find another single parent willing to do some swapping. As far as the housekeeping goes, I found myself, about two years ago, becomming totally overwhelmed with it. I am really particular about the house and I was slowing killing myself with stress trying to get it all done. For me, the solution was to hire a crew. I interviewed five companies and settled on one that was not the cheapest, but who I felt would do a good job and be sensative to my furniture and collectibles. It's not cheap, but I will tell you it is like a weight was lifted from my shoulders! Having them come in every two weeks and clean from top to bottom is a life saver. I have them do it every other week because of the expense, but also have a deep cleaning every other week does make it easier to keep up with the rest of the time. In regards to meals, my sister, when first seperated from her husband, faced some of the same issues you are dealing with. She worked really long hours and had little time to cook. She found this company/service in her area (northern va) where you go and, for a price, cook like two weeks worth of meals - and they are healthy! You pay a particular price and you go and cook everything at one time. You obviously use their facility and their equipment but you have these great meals that all you have to do is heat and serve (and I guess add salad or something). My sister did this many, many times and there are a number of woman who do it at one time. I have to say that I did not read that comment about people working full time for stuff over on the wc. If I had, I think I would have responded! I believe that being a single parent is a really tough job - I'm with you there. I am fortunate that my ex bonehead does support us some financially (for the time being!), but my kids needs are greater than that (great than financial I mean). I think you should only lower your expectations, in any area of your life, if they are preventing you from moving forward or causing you self-inflicted stress. Sharon [/QUOTE]
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