Ballooning Weight

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ML, Oct 12, 2008.

  1. ML

    ML Guest

    I just hate this. Manster got his 4th grade pictures back and he is just so beautiful. But this is the first year that I look at his pictures and he looks like a "fat kid".

    It's addiction related. He uses food to sooth his anxiety. I feel like it's my fault. I should have had a lock on the fridge, should have cooked healthier etc. etc. But I feel like I'm going the best I can (well maybe I could do better, I want to).

    Interestingly, I'm attending alanon to come to grips with the fact that I can't control husband's alcohol addiction. But I'm not *his* mother. I should have some control, more control over my child eating.

    I finally relented and allowed him to drop TKD but it was the only regular exercise he was getting. I just bought an exercise trampoline, maybe I can get him to do it with me. And if I can ever find WI fit we can do that together as well.

    He even asks me, "mom, please help me not to eat so much" but then when I try to cut him off he begs me, tells me he's hungry etc. This isn't about bad habits as much as it is about the addiction and self medication.

    I feel so powerless.

    So he's probably going to get teased if he isn't already. Plus the eye blinking tic is back and he's having school anxiety. Says it's just too hard.

    Any encouragement or new ideas (and prayers) welcome.

  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Three of our six children went thru stages of being too heavy and being unhappily aware of it. I understand your feelings of inadequacy. I, too, couldn't "solve the problem".

    Two ideas that I didn't try and regret. First your child could learn about food contents and learn how to help cook things that appeal to him and the family. Hands on will make him more aware and if he is successful it will boost his selfesteem. Secondly IF your child can not be inticed into playing a sport (any then you could try either biking or taking walks together.

    Interestingly the three kids, by the way, are the three adults who
    are most aware of health and fitness. Weird! Good luck.
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    ML, I'm sorry things are so difficult. I like DDD's ideas for healthy eating and exercise. My son is overweight as well. husband took him on a long bike ride yesterday and has him on the tennis court this morning. We're going to try to get Wii Fit, too.

    Is difficult child on any medications for anxiety? Or are you still struggling with finding the right one?
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    There are some medications that starve you. Is he on anything like Depakote or Risperdal? If so, it's probably the medication making him neverending hungry. Or does he need prednisone for autoimmune diseases. THAT will blow you up. Been there/done that.
  5. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I am so sorry. Don't beat yourself up about this, it is very hard to refuse a child food that he wants. It is just as hard to put a child on a "diet" as it is for us to stick to one.

    I am in agreement with the medication question. My difficult child gained 40 pounds in a few months while taking Risperadol. She dropped the weight when we dropped that medication. Has his pediatrician mentioned anything to you about his weight? Maybe he can suggest something.

    In any event, don't look back and blame yourself. You know the saying "When we knew better, we did better". Hang in there. :)
  6. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    We're grappling with similar issues ML. Seroquel makes difficult child 2 want to eat ALL the time. And when he started it this summer while we were on vacation, it was very hard for me to say no to things. Looking back, he would consume an entire full-size bag of Flaming Hot Lays potato chips in a day. Actually, in an afternoon. As a snack. So two or three weeks of this type of bingeing caught up with him pretty fast.

    Now I am much better at limiting or even forbidding the junk food. If he's truly hungry between meals, I tell him he can have an apple (which he likes) or some carrot sticks with reduced-fat ranch, or a salad. We try to look for lower calorie, higher fiber options together. I want him to be a part of the thinking process, because it's something he'll likely have to confront his whole life.

    When he really starts to whine or obsess about something in particular to eat, I ask him to read the label. Last week he was hankering for Chex Mix. He started with a couple of handfuls, and when I told him that was enough and he started to whine, I asked how many calories are in a single serving and how many servings were in the bag he'd already eaten most of. He was shocked to read 130 cal./ serving, with 8 servings in the bag (of which he'd already scarfed about 5, maybe 6). When he eats out of the bag, he loses touch with how much he's eaten.

    He opted to skip soccer this fall because of a bad experience last year. So I just signed him up for basketball which he said he'd like to try. He gets evaluated today. I don't care how well he plays, just as long as he gets some exercise!

    He doesn't really "look" fat, but he carries it around his middle and doesn't tuck in his shirts so he hides it well. He probably needs to lose about 10 to 15 pounds. He would normally wear a size 14 pants, but now is in a 16 and not only are they too long, but they are getting tight also :( Time for husky size, I fear, if he cannot shed some of his middle with basketball.

    I think the important thing to remember is that our difficult child's need to be part of the solution so they don't feel like we're the ones nagging them all the time. And whatever activity they choose for exercise, it should be something they truly love to do or it won't stick.

    Hang in there!
  7. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hey! Been there done that! We started discussing better nutrition here in the house and it's still a struggle.

    One thing that helped the difficult child's was this website:

    They have to "fuel" the ship to get it to it's destination by choosing good healthy foods for each meal. Once they've put in their choices, they click the flight and it lets them know how far they get.

    You should also check medications (as the others suggested). difficult child 1 gained 25 pounds in 2 mos. on abilify.

    You could also check into "Overeaters Anonymous". They have a 12 stepper for overeating.

    Good luck!

  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    K always had issues with her weight. She used food as comfort too, didn't get enough excercise, and bioMom leaned more toward junk food.

    I never did anything drastic. (usually because it just makes the food more appealling being forbidden) And she always returned to a healthy weight the summers she stayed with us.

    All I did was limit tv/video game time. Require a certain amount of outside time and encouraged biking, playing tag ect. When they get bored enough these things start looking fun. lol We had very little junky food in the house. Popcicles and popcorn were the main "junk" food. A popcicle only has 20 calories, and popcorn not loaded down with butter is healthy. And in those days eating out was a treat.

    So K lost weight just do to increased excercise and a healthier diet. She still got snacks and plenty to eat, it was just monitored better. (bioMom would let her eat a whole box of ice cream at one sitting instead of one serving) One summer she went down 2 clothing sizes and we had to go out and buy her new clothes.

    The trampoline is a great fun way to get excercise. :D
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Anti-psychotics cause a great deal of weight gain. Paxil did that for me, an antidepressant. I'm an adult who had been skinny all my life and had GREAT self-control over what I ate, but on Paxil I gained 80 pounds because I was starved. I knew what it felt like to crave food. I eventually scaled back, but I'm still hungry ALL the time plus I'm an adult. We put kids on medications that starve them and expect them to control themselves....but I can tell you, I couldn't control myself either. The only medications that don't make you hungry are stimulants. It isn't food addiction. These drugs seriously stimulate your appetite, and you're fighting biology. Good luck.
  10. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    We struggled with this for years when difficult child was on medications that induced hunger. It was not worth the battle to put locks on things, so other than talking about every single ingredient in every single package, and knowledge - I just refused to buy anything that was junk. No chips or candy, or any other food that was not healthy. This helped to a point. He would still binge on pasta and bread, and staples that you cannot control - but it kept it all in moderation.

    At the age of your son, you still have a lot of control over what they eat since you have the purse strings.

    Good luck.
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I know hard the struggle of the weight gain can be. difficult child has gained 35 pounds in a year. I think the medications are part of the problem but he also eats junk. He is a total carb boy and for a long time we didn't fight it much because he would get violent over food or lack of it-not worth it. Right now we are trying to focus on nutrition but we need to do more.
  12. ML

    ML Guest

    Thanks everyone. You've all given me the support I needed to double my resolve to encourge more exercise and better choices. I'm sure if I'm willing to pay more I could get WI fit online.

    It's not about the medications with Manster. C
  13. ML

    ML Guest

    I tried to edit that post but it didn't work. Just saying thank you for the great ideas everyone.

  14. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    ML, if you want to edit a post, just hit the "Edit" button on the bottom of that post and then fix what you want in the screen that appears.