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Baptism by fire, or my sister in law's intro to our family!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 298765" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>You analyse people because you need to. Because otherwise stuff cna come flying at you and you're not ready.</p><p></p><p>It sounds to me like she is gonig to need a few more experiences, before she gets it. It's a huge culture shock, when you go through your studies and graduate with a piece of paper which guarantees you know everything. I've seen it with new medical graduates - they go into shock when the see something that challenges their knowledge and often their first reaction is denial "you can't be serious about what you just reported." Then it turns to blame - "It has to be YOUR fault that you experience this. YOU did it to yourself." or "You're nuts if you continue to tell me it is like this, because I know it can't be true."</p><p>The only alternative, you see, is for them to doubt their recently-announced-to-be-perfect knowledge.</p><p></p><p>It takes time and repeated exposure for them to realise that the more you know, the more you need to learn and have an open mind...</p><p></p><p>I've told you before of a 'discussion' I got into at the local school post-presentation day lunch, with the wife of a local pharmacist (who was also selling those direct marketing 'natural food' supplement thingies, including goji juice). Their daughter had some serious health problems and they used these natural supplements to make her well. Of course, she was also getting conventional medical trreatment...</p><p></p><p>This woman can't have known our family history, she is not generally a nasty person. She turned to me and said, making conversation, "What do you think about these parents who drug their children into submission?"</p><p>She quickly clarified that she was referring to ADHD medications, so rather than hhiding the truth I came right out and said, "I am one such parent. I agree that those medications are being overprescribed, but they won't work if the child doesn't have ADHD. And when they're needed, they are a godsend."</p><p>She blustered a bit then said, "But surely we shouldbe using other methods? Thosedrugs are so strong, there are natural products which are healthier."</p><p></p><p>So I gave her a lesson on how "natural" often means "blunt instrument". I began with aspirin - it is a synthetic copy of willow bark, which was the original antipyretic and analgesic. Willow bark is VERY rough on your stomach. bad as aspirin can be, willow bark is much nastier. But it works, because it happens to contain a lot of natural salicylic acid. In fact, that's how salicylic acid gets its name, from "Salix" the genus from which willow comes. </p><p>"Natural" doesn't mean "safe" because every drug, natural or otherwise, which has a therapeutic effect, also MUST (by definition) have side effects. Does it lower blood pressure? Then the side effect is, it lowers blood pressure in peiople who already HAVE low blood pressure. And so on. A product which is 100&#37; safe is also 100% ineffective. By definition.</p><p></p><p>She told me that caffeine is harmless, and it works for her as a natural ADHD medication (she has ADHD, she told me). So I told her, graphically, what caffeine has done to difficult child 1 - he grabbed a bottle, smashed it and took to a classmate. caffeine would send him into rages. It would bypass ADHD medications. Although I recognise that ADHD medications don't microscopically target the inhibitory centre of the brain, it does target it better than caffeine. So again I reminded her - ADHD medications are more accurte. Caffeine is much more of a blunt instrument and has other effecgs which may be OK for you - I'm happy for you, darling - but are disastrous for my boys."</p><p></p><p>I finsihed with "In your eyes I know I am a bad mother, because I started difficult child 3 on ADHD medications when he was 3 years old. Even though we already had seen how miraculously they seem to work, on his older brother, I was apprehensiver at such a young age. But within a week we could see amazing changes. This non-verbal child who know knew a handful of nouns, was speaking in complete sentences within the week. At 3, that is really important to remedy. He has achieved amazing things, has our boy, but he wouldn't have been able to do it if he hadn't been put on ADHD medications. It worked -for him. And that's the point - such things need to be under the careful supervision of qualified medical professionals, not handed out according to the 'suck it and see' method. Who knows? Maybe in your case a pediatrician would be happy for you to medicate with caffeine. But who knows how you would have coped, if put on ADHD medications when younger? You're clearly functioning well now. That's great. But MY kids are also functioning, BECAUSE we do what you abhor. So open your mind, dearie. It's a big wide world out here and vive la difference."</p><p></p><p>I know I didn't convince her, but neither did I lie to her to avoid a confrontation (which a lot of people used to do - she is VERY pushy with her views and I'd had enough). We stayed on good terms and although they have now left the village, I still hear how they are all getting on. I don't think she ever found out that I am the one who made a formal complaint against her husband, when whilehewas locuming for our regular pharmacist in the village, he tried to push his own brand of rubbish onto us while I was getting the ADHD medications script filled. "Don't drug your kids with that rubbish - here's a pamphlet on what I privately sell instead."</p><p></p><p>Naughty naughty...</p><p></p><p>Congrats on catching the fish. At least sometihng positive was achieved!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 298765, member: 1991"] You analyse people because you need to. Because otherwise stuff cna come flying at you and you're not ready. It sounds to me like she is gonig to need a few more experiences, before she gets it. It's a huge culture shock, when you go through your studies and graduate with a piece of paper which guarantees you know everything. I've seen it with new medical graduates - they go into shock when the see something that challenges their knowledge and often their first reaction is denial "you can't be serious about what you just reported." Then it turns to blame - "It has to be YOUR fault that you experience this. YOU did it to yourself." or "You're nuts if you continue to tell me it is like this, because I know it can't be true." The only alternative, you see, is for them to doubt their recently-announced-to-be-perfect knowledge. It takes time and repeated exposure for them to realise that the more you know, the more you need to learn and have an open mind... I've told you before of a 'discussion' I got into at the local school post-presentation day lunch, with the wife of a local pharmacist (who was also selling those direct marketing 'natural food' supplement thingies, including goji juice). Their daughter had some serious health problems and they used these natural supplements to make her well. Of course, she was also getting conventional medical trreatment... This woman can't have known our family history, she is not generally a nasty person. She turned to me and said, making conversation, "What do you think about these parents who drug their children into submission?" She quickly clarified that she was referring to ADHD medications, so rather than hhiding the truth I came right out and said, "I am one such parent. I agree that those medications are being overprescribed, but they won't work if the child doesn't have ADHD. And when they're needed, they are a godsend." She blustered a bit then said, "But surely we shouldbe using other methods? Thosedrugs are so strong, there are natural products which are healthier." So I gave her a lesson on how "natural" often means "blunt instrument". I began with aspirin - it is a synthetic copy of willow bark, which was the original antipyretic and analgesic. Willow bark is VERY rough on your stomach. bad as aspirin can be, willow bark is much nastier. But it works, because it happens to contain a lot of natural salicylic acid. In fact, that's how salicylic acid gets its name, from "Salix" the genus from which willow comes. "Natural" doesn't mean "safe" because every drug, natural or otherwise, which has a therapeutic effect, also MUST (by definition) have side effects. Does it lower blood pressure? Then the side effect is, it lowers blood pressure in peiople who already HAVE low blood pressure. And so on. A product which is 100% safe is also 100% ineffective. By definition. She told me that caffeine is harmless, and it works for her as a natural ADHD medication (she has ADHD, she told me). So I told her, graphically, what caffeine has done to difficult child 1 - he grabbed a bottle, smashed it and took to a classmate. caffeine would send him into rages. It would bypass ADHD medications. Although I recognise that ADHD medications don't microscopically target the inhibitory centre of the brain, it does target it better than caffeine. So again I reminded her - ADHD medications are more accurte. Caffeine is much more of a blunt instrument and has other effecgs which may be OK for you - I'm happy for you, darling - but are disastrous for my boys." I finsihed with "In your eyes I know I am a bad mother, because I started difficult child 3 on ADHD medications when he was 3 years old. Even though we already had seen how miraculously they seem to work, on his older brother, I was apprehensiver at such a young age. But within a week we could see amazing changes. This non-verbal child who know knew a handful of nouns, was speaking in complete sentences within the week. At 3, that is really important to remedy. He has achieved amazing things, has our boy, but he wouldn't have been able to do it if he hadn't been put on ADHD medications. It worked -for him. And that's the point - such things need to be under the careful supervision of qualified medical professionals, not handed out according to the 'suck it and see' method. Who knows? Maybe in your case a pediatrician would be happy for you to medicate with caffeine. But who knows how you would have coped, if put on ADHD medications when younger? You're clearly functioning well now. That's great. But MY kids are also functioning, BECAUSE we do what you abhor. So open your mind, dearie. It's a big wide world out here and vive la difference." I know I didn't convince her, but neither did I lie to her to avoid a confrontation (which a lot of people used to do - she is VERY pushy with her views and I'd had enough). We stayed on good terms and although they have now left the village, I still hear how they are all getting on. I don't think she ever found out that I am the one who made a formal complaint against her husband, when whilehewas locuming for our regular pharmacist in the village, he tried to push his own brand of rubbish onto us while I was getting the ADHD medications script filled. "Don't drug your kids with that rubbish - here's a pamphlet on what I privately sell instead." Naughty naughty... Congrats on catching the fish. At least sometihng positive was achieved! Marg [/QUOTE]
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