Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by 4sumrzn, Jun 24, 2008.

  1. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    I'm out of ideas to get this child in the bath. She has NEVER liked taking a bath.....screamed as a baby & fusses/fights it now! I've tried different toys (she really doesn't play with toys though). I've tried kitchen cups/bowls/pitchers, foam letters, bath glitter/paints/crayons/foam......tons of bubbles...anything to get her in there. Her only interest is babydolls.....tried 3 new "bath" dolls over the past year (each lasted about 10 minutes = 3 baths....not gonna work). Radio, nope. Singing, nope (she tells me to be quiet!LOL).

    I am/was prepared for the preteen/teenager "funk" for easy child...knowing they can be lazy & not care much about personal hygeine (I'm hoping he skipped over all that & I don't have to deal with it). But, how in the world am I suppose to keep difficult child half way clean for the next "however many" years if I can't get her in the bath???? It "was" a bit easier when she was smaller.....just plop her in there & let her scream. She's getting too big....much harder.

    It was so bad last summer.....husband & I would put her in the pool in the evening or spray her with the hose & add soap!

    Any ideas? Anyone else have bath issues with difficult child?
  2. No suggestions. I have a real difficult time with my difficult child and he's 12. It's like pulling teeth to get him in the shower and then he doesn't always wash everything! (He won't take the initiative to take a shower and will fight it for days on end) When he was in psychiatric hospital - they actually implemented a soap check because they found he was getting in the shower and not bathing. I have caught him at home too. When your hair still smells after you took a shower and you can't smell shampoo? UGH.

    Hopefully someone with come along with suggestions. It looks like you have tried all the tricks I know of for that age.

  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    The only thing I can think of is a little manipulation here. Start talking about how she needs to take a "bath" because BIG girls take showers. Then, make a big deal about when you take a shower. Maybe she'll become interested in a shower and decide it was only baths that she despised.

    Just a thought...
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Our difficult child doesn't like to take showers right now. We've been fairly blunt with him about his B.O. and that seems to help get him in there. There are times when we will just say no tv allowed til after the shower.

    I know it isn't easy. Hugs.
  5. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I was gonna suggest the pool, but I see you did that one...

    What about a reward for 3 baths a week to get over the hump?

    And ya know what? nothing wrong with a sponge bath if that's all you can get done...
  6. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    It's so hard when they have Sensory Integration Disorder (SID). I agree to try the shower or even a shower handle attached to the faucet which would have a smaller stream that she could direct where she wanted.
  7. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Have you figured out why she doesn't like baths?

    Is it because she does not like to be naked? I know even as a child, I hated baths because I had to be naked. Would allowing her to wear a bathing suit help? Does she not like the bottom of the tub? Too slippery or if you have a mat, too weird feeling or bumpy?

    Would making the bathroom her private get away for that time help? Though she may be too young to appreciate this one? Decorate it just for her - put a CD player with her music on. Tell her that it is her "Spa" time - bath, hair, finger nail polish - After the bath, she can pick out her favorite t.v. show or movie (1/2 hour kids movie) to watch before bed time with you serving her a bed time snack. In other words, make her the queen of the evening.

    These are just wild brain storming - Let us know what worked.
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911

    car wash - sans car. Skip the hot wax unless your legs are hairy.

    Would she bathe if she was muddy? Or would she just keep the mud on her?

    I think Adrianne is on to something - about the nakedness thing. Does she like swimming pools? Maybe she has a fear of water - some PTSD about something?

    I roomed with a girl who said that water from a shower hitting her skin stung like a whip. She always took baths.

    I dunno - no fear of pools but fear of water? Interesting
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Star, LOL!

    I'd been doing more than manipulation, as KLMNO suggested. I'd be dangling a Reese's peanut butter cup over the shower head, or whatever it took. A few times when difficult child was older (like, 6) I even climbed in with-him. Gosh, maybe he was even older than that, but I really didn't care. He just got so gamey smelling I was afraid someone would call Codes Compliance.

    You've gotten some good ideas here, about the water prickling like pins, or being naked.

    Let us know if you have any luck.
  10. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I like Shari, SRL, and Adrianne's suggestions. What about a sponge bath and washing her hair in the sink? Would she go for that? Or bathing in the tub and washing her hair in the sink? We did that for a while with difficult child because she really hated getting her hair washed in the tub. She felt like she had no control over water getting in her face and it would cause her to panic. When we washed her hair in the kitchen sink, she would hold a towel over her face.
  11. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    Hmmmm.....some good ideas. Ummm....nope, no climbing in the tub/shower with her.....she points out EVERY "big thing" about me! I guess I'm not "OK" with it....doesn't matter if I'm fully dressed! :)

    The being private part? She is SO concerned with where I am all of the time ( brings up people that she hasn't seen in weeks too, along with husband..easy child, dogs.... )....I don't think she would understand. I guess, I have never "gone there"....she doesn't like to be alone. Well, that is how she acts.

    The pool...she likes it...ONLY if someone is holding her or in touching distance!

    I can't take anything away....she doesn't value anything :(

    Would she bathe if she was muddy? NOOOOO! Doesn't bother her at all (rather strange.....tags, socks, pants too long-too short, "itchy" things do...NOT DIRT!) But, keep picking at that bump & make it's all over!

    She has no fear of water! Will jump right in a problem! BUT...only when she is "on her own". Meaning.....she will just take off & jump in. If others are in the water, she is NOT interested in it (until everyone is ready to get out-she wants to give it a try). On a boat?.....she will jump off.

    I think I'm going to give this a try...

    It's so hard when they have Sensory Integration Disorder (SID). I agree to try the shower or even a shower handle attached to the faucet which would have a smaller stream that she could direct where she wanted.

    Oh...still trying to finish this & decided to read back what I've been trying to type forever!

    I'm not sure I should try this. She would direct it...well, EVERYWHERE! Thanks though. I was ready to give it a try!

    The naked part.....She doesn't care. Well, she cares when it's 100' & she wants to put a snow suit on! LOL! OR, it's 3' & she takes off out the front door naked in the snow. OK, "she"" doesn't care......I do. So, I take that back. I CARE.

    Like I said before....just thought I would ask. Thank you for the suggestions!

    Thank goodness she doesn't "stink" (yet). And.....Reese's peanut butter cup over the shower head, or whatever it for me (one of my favorites). Wish it was that easy :(
  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Have you had her evaluated by an Occupational Therapist for Sensory Integration Disorder (SID)? We found that thank you started to LIKE baths and showers after the brushing therapy had been in place for about 6 weeks. He wouldn't go start one by himself, but he wasn't fighting us about it.

    We did use the pre-soaped baby wash cloths with him - got him a little wet, used the cloth, then rinsed quickly. We also only use the lavendar baby soap - no bar soap or other scented soap. the smell drives him nuts.

    sometimes they don't like the water in their face, or so each of mine have told me. thank you is even so tender-headed and has super thick wavy hair that shampooing actually hurts. I take a cheap shampoo and the same scent/brand conditioner and mix them together in a bowl. Then I put them in a hand-soap pump. Having hte conditioner mixed right in with the soap means it doesn't hurt his head by pulling. And it is LOTS cheaper than the 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioners. It seems to be "slipperier" in that the homemade mixture pulls less than the store bought 2 in 1's.

    Sorry this is such an issue. It really is no fun.

  13. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    I need to say..I'm sorry. I've said before, it takes me SO long to reply/respond (5 minutes, no interuptions would be nice) computer even has meltdowns now. I hope my reply didn't come across badly...I appreciate everything that you all have to offer. I know that by the time I finished my response here.......hours passed by & I "rambled", adding/taking away things & couldn't finish my thoughts (can't spell/type either). Sorry.

    Thank you.
  14. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So if I understand right...she will get in a pool ok...and she will get in with you but you dont like getting in with her because she points out your size...right?

    Honey...Im huge! My grand daughter was scared to death of bath time up until about 3 weeks ago and I would crawl into the bath with her...or her Daddy took her into the bath with him. Now Im sure some are gonna say Ohhhh No...but she is a little girl ...our little girl and we are a fairly open family here about nudity. Ok...more than fairly open....we tend to walk around nude right often. (I say this as cory just walked past me naked looking for a Its never been a big deal to us and I doubt that will change with Keyana around.

    If you are not comfy...put on a bathing suit and hop in to the tub with her. Add suds and build castles. Or if she will go in the shower...go there. Eventually she will outgrow this and you wont be able to keep her out of the shower.
  15. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'd have to say that this is a "do to get" situation. There must be something that she would rather not go without that can be withheld until she bathes, isn't there?

    I'd tell her that bathing is just something everyone has to do, and she can choose to shower or take a bath, once a week. Or twice a week if she's stinkier. On those nights if she doesn't bathe she doesn't get - - - - - - (whatever toy, game, tv show that she can't do without). Either way, she's going to scream the first few times, but she'll get over it.
  16. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    K goes back and forth with what she likes... some times it is the bath, shower, nothing.
    She loves swimming though which is funny that she hates being clean?
    So yes I have had to be creative also. I snatch up any hotel soaps... refill them for just her... she thinks they are special. I buy her the bath balls that fizz... the flakes that are shaped like stars and snowflakes, tell her they are special just for her... this will last last for a day here and there.
    I will get in the shower with her. YES I have to hear the comments, It gives me a chance to "talk" to her about how we accept people for who they are, how we don't make fun of people, how would it make you feel? All of that.
    I have a pull down shower head, so she will sit with her little hotel soaps and shampoos and wash her dolls... in the shower.
    I give her the vapor tabs and throw them in the shower while she is sitting in there, it calms her. She has a shampoo brush and scrubs her scalp, she loves the way it feels. I let her pick out little shower poofs, those washy things in bright colors. ANYTHING to get her to bathe or shower.
    I wouldn't care so much, but taking medications and raging has made her have a bit of an odor as she is getting older. A few jerky girls at a park one day told her she smelled... so I play it up now and pamper her after the shower... she has a basket of hair stuff, lotion, natural pit-stick... all of that stuff! I wrap her up in a towel and try to make her feel beautiful. I do it for both of the girls. Me and husband work as a team.
    So far it is working. We get them every other day or so...