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BDP daughter wants to her & I to go family therapy
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<blockquote data-quote="Lioness" data-source="post: 659258" data-attributes="member: 18827"><p>Update. I have held back now for two weeks, and she has texted me several times feigning concern over my health problems. I find that if I don't contact her she starts chasing me. She said I could see my grand daughter this week, to "cheer you up" but the only day I could see her just happened to be the day I'm at work. I am only doing one day a week as its a very physical job with young pre schoolers so I am easing my way back. She did it on purpose. She dangles the carrot then takes it away! How can she be so cruel? She said she is still going to our first family therapy session. Her brother told me that she will be away for all of July and August! I hear everything second hand. The baby will forget me she is only two years old and my daughter is punishing me but worst she is punishing her own little girl! I have to tread so lightly as I know she will stop me seeing the baby. I feel sick all the time not only with my ailments but with worry and pain. I am looking forward to the therapy but am also scared that she will use this opportunity just to beat me over the head. I want to use the therapy to move forward and clear the air in a non attacking manner. It will take a few sessions to hopefully get to a good place, as its been at least 15 years of her hating me. She has demonised me to the point that I am even questioning myself if shes right? But when i am strong I remember that I have always been there for her through good and bad and am always helping her in any way I can. she knows I love her and uses this against me. I know that we had rough times when she was a teenager right up until she left home around 22 years old, as she refused to get a job have entitlement issues. Her Dad is a multi millionaire and all her rich friends didn't work, but I don't have that type of money to keep her so insisted she finish university and get a job. In the end she did neither. She resented me, was rude, abusive verbally and physically. She called me so many disgusting names so many times that I didn't care anymore. She wished me dead many times. I in turn argued back and tried to justify things. But the reality was that she had no respect for me at all and still hasn't. After looking at forums, my biggest fear may be realised. She will stop contact with me and I will never see my grandchild again. This will devastate me and she knows it. I just want a loving relationship with her or at least a more honest relationship. All parents make mistakes we all try our hardest, and we are not perfect. Life isn't perfect. Life is not black and white, there is a grey area. People are not good or bad, they are flawed. We all are flawed. I don't know how much to let my guard down at the therapy incase she uses things I say against me. Do I put a wall up or show my emotion, which she always hates? Help!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lioness, post: 659258, member: 18827"] Update. I have held back now for two weeks, and she has texted me several times feigning concern over my health problems. I find that if I don't contact her she starts chasing me. She said I could see my grand daughter this week, to "cheer you up" but the only day I could see her just happened to be the day I'm at work. I am only doing one day a week as its a very physical job with young pre schoolers so I am easing my way back. She did it on purpose. She dangles the carrot then takes it away! How can she be so cruel? She said she is still going to our first family therapy session. Her brother told me that she will be away for all of July and August! I hear everything second hand. The baby will forget me she is only two years old and my daughter is punishing me but worst she is punishing her own little girl! I have to tread so lightly as I know she will stop me seeing the baby. I feel sick all the time not only with my ailments but with worry and pain. I am looking forward to the therapy but am also scared that she will use this opportunity just to beat me over the head. I want to use the therapy to move forward and clear the air in a non attacking manner. It will take a few sessions to hopefully get to a good place, as its been at least 15 years of her hating me. She has demonised me to the point that I am even questioning myself if shes right? But when i am strong I remember that I have always been there for her through good and bad and am always helping her in any way I can. she knows I love her and uses this against me. I know that we had rough times when she was a teenager right up until she left home around 22 years old, as she refused to get a job have entitlement issues. Her Dad is a multi millionaire and all her rich friends didn't work, but I don't have that type of money to keep her so insisted she finish university and get a job. In the end she did neither. She resented me, was rude, abusive verbally and physically. She called me so many disgusting names so many times that I didn't care anymore. She wished me dead many times. I in turn argued back and tried to justify things. But the reality was that she had no respect for me at all and still hasn't. After looking at forums, my biggest fear may be realised. She will stop contact with me and I will never see my grandchild again. This will devastate me and she knows it. I just want a loving relationship with her or at least a more honest relationship. All parents make mistakes we all try our hardest, and we are not perfect. Life isn't perfect. Life is not black and white, there is a grey area. People are not good or bad, they are flawed. We all are flawed. I don't know how much to let my guard down at the therapy incase she uses things I say against me. Do I put a wall up or show my emotion, which she always hates? Help!! [/QUOTE]
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