I had to take a week off of the forum simply because part of my detaching process wasn't working, I was obsessing over matching difficult child's behavior to other difficult children on the board and I needed to stop thinking about it for awhile. I think you probably know what I mean. Thank you for all the responses you gave on my previous thread, they were immeasurably helpful. difficult child came back when he ran out of money. He apologized and promised to obey rules. All money has been cut off. I surprised drug tested him before he could come in the house, because I needed to see if there was something stronger in his system than thc. So, other than thc, he came up clean. He stayed out Thursday until 3 and again I hit him on Friday and it was still just thc, so I am going back to my regular assumption that for whatever reason, he is in an abusive relationship, but there are no other drugs as of yet. I will continue to spot check him occasionally though just to make sure. He came home Wednesday night with serious scratch marks on his face, and I mean *bloody*, I think GFH clawed his face! He said it was from falling into a thorn bush. Wow. That's like, "I ran into a door". So he got a job and was going to work this week. However, guess what? Apparently he snuck GFH into the house and was probably waiting for my husband to take me to work this morning to sneak her out. Little did he know that my girlfriend from work went on vacation and gave me her parking pass, so I took advantage of free parking this week. Which means husband was home and meandered into the kitchen to make coffee and guess who he ran into? GFH. He said she smirked, no words, and left. And she left her bag in the bathroom. I told husband to take her bag, drive over to difficult child's work, and put it in his car along with a note that said Family Conference 9:00 p.m. I seriously cannot believe that he did this. I could kick him out again, but I am going to try something different. I think it's like conditioner for your hair. You have to change it around so you have the element of surprise. Or something. So instead of kicking him out, we are going to gve immediate consequences to his actions. husband already took his bedroom door off the hinges (because he lost his right to privacy) and we are restricting his car use from 7 a.m. in the morning until 10 p.m. at night - for work and school, basically. Cell phone is next. But we decided to start with these two things. When we kicked him out before he had his car to live in. This time, he doesn't get his car. He doesn't make the payment and he doesn't pay the insurance. So, really, it's MY car. So he can go live on the street or he can live at home with draconian policies which technically should encourage him to work as much as he can so he can make money and leave. It's a mystery. I am sure that other parents on this forum have done the same thing. I'll report back on responses and such. Anything I should expect from those who have been there done that?