Beautiful Raccoon

[Star*]

Gosh it's so cold here - even for the South.

SO I got up this morning and tried to dress quickly. Pant suit, stockings, heels, jewelry and EVEN- just a tad of makeup. Warmed up some cornbread and chocolate milk then headed out the door.

Get to work (work with all men) and no one ever notices me unless I do something - outrageous or with chocolate (sigh).

All the men are coming by my office to say Good Morning. A bit unusual, but I "did" dress for success today - curled the ends of my hair, wearing black and peach - a surefire good look for me.

Well I got here at 8:00 - and just went for my first break at 9:20 - looked in the mirror and OH MY GOSH - I had dotted on my coverup this morning (white and beige) and it was still in dots.

I look like an Aboriginal office worker.

:slap: - I truly give up. In an effort to control my laughter in the restroom, I rubbed it in telling myself - You are a beautiful RACCOON! (fading voice) beautifulllllll raaaaacccoooon.

 

[I'm going crazy!!!]

:rofl:



and that is why i don't even try anymore the last time i wore makeup was at my wedding and only for the pictures

 

[susiestar]

Wow!! At least I am not the only one who ever did stuff like this.

Susie

 

[Star*]

Susiestar -

sorry, but it is SO VERY NICE to know I am NOT alone. I used to think - it's JUST YOU Star...Like the time I put on the thong underwear sideways - smeared my pants with dove chocolate squares, put the bubble wrap in my shoes in lieu of insoles, caught my tongue in the beater of the mixer (I was hungry).

You too huh?

Nice

 

[Hound dog]

:rofl: :rofl:

OMG! You don't KNOW how releaved I am that other people do this stuff and it's not just me!

I went out to dinner with easy child the other day...... I dressed up for the occasion and wore my fav sweater and new jeans. But it isn't until we walk into the restaurant that I come to realize that I've put the stupid sweater on backward, and the jeans had at some point become to big and are sliding off my hips as I walk. I hit the ladies room, but the only thing I could fix was the sweater. (I'm still trying to figure out how I hadn't noticed - it's a frimpin v neck for pete's sake!) But I was stuck with having to constantly pull up the jeans in various ways so no one would notice. :slap:

 

[hearts and roses]

:rofl:

Kinda like showing up for work late and still only wearing your slip?? :rofl: Yep, it's true!

 

[I'm going crazy!!!]

going out to eat and being in such a hurry while getting ready that you forget to switch from bedroom shoes to real shoes

 

[susiestar]

you havedifferent shoes for the bedroom? Geez, my feet feel lucky if they get any shoes at all, much less fancy kinds!!

Susie

 

[I'm going crazy!!!]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: susiestar</div><div class="ubbcode-body">you havedifferent shoes for the bedroom? Geez, my feet feel lucky if they get any shoes at all, much less fancy kinds!!

Susie</div></div> :rofl:

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

It is invariably women who notice (or comment on, at any rate) the wardrobe malfunctions.

I went almost an entire day wearing a polo shirt inside out, until a female coworker mentioned that I might want to check if my shirt was on right?

Another time I had a leaky red pen in my shirt pocket (no pocket protector, thank you very much). It was quite some time before a female co-worker asked if I'd been shot through the heart. (Nothing I could do about that one).

Hmmm - I may have to rethink the snappy comebacks for "You're not wearing that, are you?"

 

[Lothlorien]

You really need to drink more coffee in the morning before getting ready for work!

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

HWGA -

Had you been on your toes, you could have said:

(ahem)


"And you're to blame, darlin'

You give love a bad name!"

 

[KFld]

:rofl:

 

[Hound dog]

:rofl:

 

[SearchingForRainbows]

Star,

So sorry this happened to you, BUT, thanks for the:rofl:!!! I've had a pretty emotional day so far, and this is just what I needed!!!:rofl:

What a totally original "look!!!":rofl:

Really, though, I'm sorry... WFEN

 

[Star*]

I still get teased about the bubble wrap insoles. MY THOUGHT was that they are 'airy' and would cushion my hurting feet. AND THEY WORKED GREAT until I had to get up and walk across the office in front of other women and they heard POP, SNAP, SNAP, POP POP.

After that they were all laughing too hard for me to have my feelings hurt.

And the mixer /beater bars? Yeah - I had made a red velvet cake and didn't want to get the red dye on my fingers (using it to scrape the bowl) so I picked up the electric hand mixer and stuck my tongue out to lick the beater. I bought the mixer at a yard sale for a quarter. I was so pleased with my deal until moving the cord to reach my mouth revealed there was a short in the line and the dang thing turned itself on high and tore up my tongue.

Skirt in the back of the panty hose? That's me.

Chocolate stain on white capris and on my mouth? Me

Travel mug in the microwave - silver band - me. Replaced that!

Cut shelf liner for my cabinets upside down so it only fits sticky side up? Me

Left a pink hair roller in the back of my head for picture day.

I guess to know me is to know I'm never going to get it perfect, but I try hard.

Put the cat food in the litter box and the litter in her dish? Me

Car keys in my hand and walking all over for nearly 20 minutes not being able to find them? Me.

Remote control in the freezer. Me - i wanted ice cream.

Made a cake for company picnic with a cup of salt in lieu of sugar. - Everyone was so kind when they politely threw their dessert out. Me.

 

[slsh]

Oh Starbie - you are by far one of my mostest favorite funny people. I'm just crying here.... only because unfortunately some of this stuff is just so *normal* around here. :rofl: I mean really, where else does one put the flickie when in the midst of grazing? I've done the car keys (or worse yet, glasses-in-hand) thing so often that now when I'm looking for things one of the first places I intentionally/consciously look is in one or the other hand.

I remember the thong episode, I do believe. Made me think I was missing out on something because at the time I was just wearing old woman underwear (you know the kind, they come up to just south of the xiphoid). I think you and Jerri carried on a terribly funny post about thongs... changed my life. :wink:

You really do need to find a publisher and document your more humorous moments - *no*one can tell a story like you!

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: The_Loan_Ranger</div><div class="ubbcode-body">...

Cut shelf liner for my cabinets upside down so it only fits sticky side up? Me

[...]

Car keys in my hand and walking all over for nearly 20 minutes not being able to find them? Me.

Remote control in the freezer. Me - i wanted ice cream.
</div></div>
:rofl:

I have done those -- only it wasn't shelf liner, it was carpeting (for a dollhouse); it wasn't the car keys, it was my glasses -- and I was wearing them; and it wasn't the freezer, it was the cupboard where we keep the chips and crackers.

 

[Lothlorien]

Someone s-uck some brain matter out while you were sleeping? :rofl:

 

[Steely]

:dance:
SERIOUSLY funny - racoon girl!

It bring new meaning to the phrase we are not laughing AT you, only WITH you! You make us all feel so much less alone in our daily dorkiness! Thanks!