Becoming involved again...

Jabberwockey

Well-Known Member
Well, he quit today. Lil took him to a few places to put in applications and he came here to use her laptop to put in a few more. I sent him home with the computer I had bought a month or so at a yard sale. Got it and a fishing pole for $20 and he has been informed that I will be less than happy if he sells either the computer or bike I have given him. He promptly reminded me that he cant sell anything at the pawn shops in town any more. I didnt bother to mention that there is a pawn shop in the town he lives in and that he could simply sell them to someone else.
 
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Lil

Well-Known Member
I sent him home with the easy child I had bought a month or so at a yard sale.

That was P. C. - We didn't buy any children. LOL

Jabber fixed it - but I needed the laugh I got from that post.

Yes, today could have been better. I got there to have him hop in the car and say, "I have to find another job." I asked if he'd quit and then let him have it with both barrels. Of course it, "Wasn't his fault" and the manager kept refusing to train him, told him he was useless when he didn't know how to do something that no one taught him to do, swore and screamed at him and treated him like dirt and when he asked to clock out when his shift was over he was told to "get the Eff out of my store!" at which time he kind of lost it and told the manger off and walked out.

On the up side, he immediately asked to be taken to Arbys, we found out they have open interviews on Tuesday and he thinks the manager at the other Arby's he worked at will give a good review. He also put in at a local grocery store that is hiring and I went to Dollar General to get trash bags and he talked to the manager there - he already has an application in and she said they need to hire several people and wrote down his name and number, so there's that. He has three very possible jobs. He does intend to call Taco Bell on Monday and explain to the other manager what happened. At least he has a check coming, he worked 6 days.

On the down side, the apartment, while adorable and affordable, also will check his job...and he no longer has one. He hopes that if he has one by next Tuesday and gets the application in there with an explanation as to why he changed jobs, they'll overlook the change of jobs.

I did tell him I won't go get her unless he has another job.

We'll see. Not exactly what I planned, but I didn't get a chance to give him that warning.
 
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Lil

Well-Known Member
Oh...and after it was all done and I was about to take him home, I told him about our Vegas trip.

His response was kind of priceless. :p

I actually feel better for him knowing that now. I have just been feeling so weird about not being able to say anything...and every time he'd mention Thanksgiving or the new Star Wars movie that comes out in December, I felt like I was telling a lie or something.

Now I can talk about it on Facebook too. lol
 

pasajes4

Well-Known Member
A person who has difficulty with loud voices and with a constant barrage of negativity, will not do well in most fast food restaurants. I sometimes stop for coffee at the golden arches on my way to work. The manager is usually loudly berating the employees because they are not moving fast enough and making their time quotas for getting orders out. Most fast food places operate this way.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Something else is going on in my opinion. To quit so soon with so much at stake? Every job?
Either he is the laziest man on the planet or he struggled internally with things that may shame him that he won't admit.
I have a secondary disgnosis,after mood disorder, is cognitive disorder not otherwise specified. It has nothing g to do with my iq which I'd fine. It has to do with my inability to learn even easy things quickly and some things that sound easy, I can't do at all. Fast food is a disaster. For those who take longer to think or who can not multitask. Every job I've ever had seemed to not explain well, but maybe I just needed extra training. In the program I am in, and will go back to as soon as I get the green light, the people who get us jobs specially look for and find jobs for people who have special needs. I did nor quit jobs, but I would get nervous and forget the steps, make mistakes and get fired.
Services like mine require an agency referred evaluation first to make sure you truly do have learnt g differences. I expected to come up clean, with nothing wrong. Wow was I shocked, but the advocacy is worth it
Your son is young. It's a good time to try to make sense of his work phobia and to address the causes. Maybe it's not just laziness.
Just another perspectove. Don't help him...attack the issue. Good luck.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
@SomewhereOutThere I think the challenge with Lil and Jabber's kid is that he is not open to any kind of testing or any kind of diagnosis. "There is nothing wrong with me." And at 18... well, until HE wants to know, nobody can force it. Unfortunately.
 

Lil

Well-Known Member
@SomewhereOutThere I think the challenge with Lil and Jabber's kid is that he is not open to any kind of testing or any kind of diagnosis. "There is nothing wrong with me."

That's absolutely true. Other than berating himself for screwing up his life, (but woe to anyone who suggests these things are his fault - we had a nice fight yesterday) he has no intention of admitting there may be something actually wrong with him.

He really had liked Arby's when he worked there when he was with the Aunt. He said yesterday that he was messing up because no one would train him and he doesn't eat Taco Bell, so he didn't know what any of the menu items really were or how to make them. He'd been there a week and still had no idea how to make a burrito. If he asked, he'd just have someone push in front of him and do it themselves instead of teaching him...add the constant swearing at people by the manager - and he, being the new kid, got it worst (says he) and that's that. He also said that in the week he'd been there there had been 5 people hired...because the turnover is so high.

He does, occasionally, do and say things that make me have a bit of hope. He was quite anxious to get another job right away. He said he was sure he could have one in a few days and knows he has to. I was actually most impressed by his taking about how people spend their money. For instance, the girl he lives with has complained a lot about money, yet she and her husband are making two car payments, while owning a third vehicle outright. They buy a lot of electronics. He said he came home from work and there's a new computer monitor sitting in the corner - with no computer to use it on - but for some reason they thought they needed it and he went on about "Why would you do that if you have bills to pay?" And he went on quite a bit about her complaining about not having enough money for groceries, but when she went shopping, she bought stuff for buffalo chicken dip. He said something like, "If I had so little money for bills and food, I sure wouldn't be spending money on stuff to make a DIP - I'd buy FOOD!"

So he's starting to recognize that money has to be prioritized and he doesn't need new stuff or fun stuff. Talking to that landlord, she was showing where they could put a washer and dryer if they had them and he mentioned that the Habitat Re-store gets them cheap...then said, "But the Salvation Army has free laundry on Sunday and that's not too far away. We'd probably just do that."

All in all, he does seem to have grown up a bit.

The job quitting is worrisome...but it is possible that the manager was as bad as he said. He said if he'd worked with the other manager, this wouldn't have happened...because he was a good guy and he plans on calling him and explaining. But if he gets another job, it might not be the end of his plans. Time will tell.
 

pasajes4

Well-Known Member
Lil, A lot of kids go through a period of rebellion. They turn their backs on everything they have been taught. Then one day a light bulb goes off and it is like gee maybe my parents did know a thing or two. Most people return to the values they grew up with good and bad. Maybe his light bulb is beginning to glow.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
@SomewhereOutThere I think the challenge with Lil and Jabber's kid is that he is not open to any kind of testing or any kind of diagnosis. "There is nothing wrong with me." And at 18... well, until HE wants to know, nobody can force it. Unfortunately.
Thats too bad and that means if something is wrong it won't be resolved. By 18 I was desperate to know why I was different. Eighteen doesn't necessarily mean unwilling to test. Yet some are 35 and unwilling.
Sending good vibes.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
He really had liked Arby's when he worked there when he was with the Aunt. He said yesterday that he was messing up because no one would train him and he doesn't eat Taco Bell, so he didn't know what any of the menu items really were or how to make them. He'd been there a week and still had no idea how to make a burrito. If he asked, he'd just have someone push in front of him and do it themselves instead of teaching him...add the constant swearing at people by the manager - and he, being the new kid, got it worst (says he) and that's that. He also said that in the week he'd been there there had been 5 people hired...because the turnover is so high.
Lil, this was exactly MY problem. Yet other new hirerees KNEW what to do with the same lax training. It was me, not the managers. I needed step by step teaching and the ability to ask questions a lot to catch on. And it still took longer, often much longer, for me. But nothing can be done if your son will not cooperate. I feel badly for all of you. Most jobs, especially low skill, expect you to catch on FAST and most Hired people do catch on. It was uniquely me that I did not understand. There is little tolerance for slower-to-catch-on learners. It requires special services. I hope your son changes his mind and allows himself to be tested to see why he struggles so much, like I did. He may NOT be lazy, just confused and puzzled that he can't catch on fast enough. I'd avoid fast food. It's NOT an easy job for ANYONE with a possible learning difference.Unskilled, it is. Easy, it is not.A slower pace may help him. It helped me. A host job for a restaurant. Washing dishes. One step jobs.

Hugs.
 
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Lil

Well-Known Member
Oh, he's lazy too, no doubt about that. :) But I think that just watching someone make a food he doesn't like and has never eaten, especially at a fast pace, he wasn't catching on. He had the breakfasts down, but he needed someone to actually show him. At Arbys, he has eaten all that food for the most part and was able to know how to do it quickly. And no one cursed at him and yelled that he should know. Ah well, like I said, we'll see.

I hope his bulb is going on. I know he really wants this thing to work with the girlfriend. I know he knows it won't if he doesn't keep a job. The rest is up to him.
 

PatriotsGirl

Well-Known Member
A person who has difficulty with loud voices and with a constant barrage of negativity, will not do well in most fast food restaurants. I sometimes stop for coffee at the golden arches on my way to work. The manager is usually loudly berating the employees because they are not moving fast enough and making their time quotas for getting orders out. Most fast food places operate this way.

Agreed a MILLION percent - my daughter HATES this about her job at McDonald's and that is exactly the way she describes it. She says they are yelled at constantly and treated like dog poo. She is going to try a warehouse job or a grocery store - she does not want to go back to fast food...
 

AppleCori

Well-Known Member
I can't speak about your son's Taco Bell position directly, of course, but having had three teens/young adults in the workplace for the last twelve years or so, I can say that a lot of managers S**K and training is OFTEN poor/non-existent.

And it is not just special-needs employees who need good training, it is everyone. Sure, some people are better at the fake-it-till-you-make-it game, but it is still a problem.

My daughters worked at a local video store when they were teens (back when such a thing existed!) They actually created a new and improved training system for the store when they became assistant managers.

One of my daughters was the HR person for a store of a national chain (luckily she has a new fantastic job now) and was constantly butting heads with the store manager over employee treatment/training. It was so bad sometimes that she would go home and cry. And call me. Turnover was really bad.

My son knew he was not cut out for the retail world and stuck with jobs like lifeguarding, over-night warehouse work, etc.

I really sympathize with these young adults.
 

Jabberwockey

Well-Known Member
Unfortunately, fast food is by far is best option for gaining employment. There are other places that hire but generally are either looking for teenagers for short hours or someone who has proven themselves at another job which he has not done yet. Maybe he will swallow his pride and try the factory again. Not that he was particularly happy when he was there.
 

PatriotsGirl

Well-Known Member
Not all fast food is like that, either. My daughter did say that Zaxby's was much better and I am SURE Chick-father in law-A is not like that...my daughter thought it was just the McDonald's she works at but from the sounds of it, it is not. I will have to let her know.

She turned in her two weeks notice because she is coming home (in less than 2 weeks now!!!!). One of the managers actually said she was "honored" to accept it and will be counting down the days. My daughter is a very hard worker - the ministry told me that they hear all the time what a good worker my daughter is. Nice, huh? Way to treat the good employees! Smh...
 

New Leaf

Well-Known Member
I worked at McD's as a teen, I did not last two months.
They treated workers terribly, the manager was monstrous and cruel. I believe this was so, to promote high turnover in their workers.
They do not have to give raises or provide health insurance.
It seems like a fruitless waste.
Their food has no nourishment for the body,
perhaps their management practice
has no food for the soul.

leafy
 
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