been a heck of a wk

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by lordhelpme, Feb 5, 2007.

  1. lordhelpme

    lordhelpme New Member

    boy where do i start as so much has happened since last tuesday.

    -ian hit teacher again was taken out of classroom and spent weds-fri in a room with-a parapro for the whole school day

    -teacher had to take a 'few'days off and threatened to quit. so now ian is being placed in a new classroom this wk

    -have had 3 mtgs to try to hammer out a behavior plan. super won't let him back into a classroom setting until plans are in place.

    -private social worker mtg on weds went ok but need more than 45 mins to discuss things.

    -attending an explosive child workshop with-principle and new teacher this weds. have to give them credit for including me.

    -difficult child had 2 major meltdowns sunday and today. he tried to choke me. i am so fearful of what will happen to my little boy who used to be so sweet and kind.


    i am so floored that my son would send the teacher over the deep end. obviously the school was not communicating to me what all was happening in the classroom. now the school is very cooperative and i am betting it is partly do to my going to supers office, teacher lossing it(i am guessing she talked to her union rep about not getting the support from the school in handling difficult child) and super not being happy that principle gave me a book with-o following the suggestions in the book.

    i am so emotionally drained and fear for my son's future. i can't wait until all the testing is done and we can get an updated iep in place even though i know it will be an ongoing process.

    thanks for listening.


    we have an appointment with-psychologist tomorrow to see about possible medications for impulsiveness.

    i hope it helps cuz he has done nothing but escalate his behavior the last few mths.
     
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Coleen,
    I'm sorry things have escalated so much. I'm glad the school is cooperating more-sorry it took the esclation to do that. Sending supportive hugs your way.
     
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Coleen, I am soooooo sorry!

    I can only imagine that the teacher has other students like that and your son was the straw that broke the camel's back.

    Lots of wishes, fairy dust and every good thing for your psychiatric visit tomorrow!!!! Big hugs.
     
  4. amy4129

    amy4129 New Member

    hugs
    be strong warrior Mom
    Amy
     
  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Colleen,

    It has been a heck of a week for you. I'm glad that the school is willing to include you on that conference.

    It's so difficult when you haven't a clue just what you are dealing with - however, it's a bit too soon to fear for your young one's future. He's only 6. He has a lot of growing, you have a lot of exploring to do.

    Additionally, you have no idea as to why the teacher is so frail as to be looking at quitting. She may have personal issues of her own - difficult child may not be the problem at all. Don't personalize other reactions or perceived reactions to your difficult child. It's simply not worth it.

    Don't let yourself get ahead of the game. Deal with the here & now; the future is just that - the future. We cannot change what will be - just what is. :warrior:
     
  6. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    My thoughts - at least the teacher has the option of quitting.

    I believe you need to establish ongoing GOOD communication with the school. I've used a book - an ordinary exercise book - which travels in my child's schoolbag. I would write in it just about every morning, mentioning any changes, any behaviour issues that morning or the night before, mentioning if he had slept badly, even.
    The teacher would write in it all the small stuff that normally doesn't get mentioned. Sometimes it was big stuff, but this way I got the details much sooner than I would have otherwise. Each afternoon I would take the book out of the bag and read the entries. I would also note his behaviour each afternoon and if he was upset, angry or subdued, I'd ask him about his day and try to (carefully!) find out what had been happening. The book, plus talking to him, helped me find out a great deal more and find it out almost as soon as things happened. This made it a lot easier to support the school as well when I needed to, and to help reinforce any positive outcome of whatever the school was doing. it also made it possible for them to support what we were doing at home.

    The end result - it was easier for the school, it was easier for us, PLUS we could see overall behaviour patterns and clues which we otherwise would have missed. The psychiatrist would also look at the communication book and it helped him see what was happening as well.

    It seems such a small thing but it made a huge difference to us.

    Once or twice we had a teacher who felt that the book was no longer necessary. We had problems then that escalated seriously, but which eased when we got back to keeping the book up to date.

    It helps the teachers to vent (and you have to let them - don't get upset with them when they scrawl across the book "WHAT A HORRIBLE CHILD! I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU COPE!!!" because you do know what days like that with your child are like. For every time a teacher has written stuff like that, they also write about good stuff - "He was really good today, I could see it wasn't easy for him but he really tried."

    When teachers and parents look back through the books (I kept all the copies) you can map their progress. When you're feeling dejected and hopeless, it's good sometimes to see how far he's come.

    We noticed a umber of patterns in broad as well as fine detail which have helped us with long-term strategies. it also helped teaches to check the books and realise it's not just them - other teachers have had similar problems. Or if they haven't, they go to the other teacher and talk to them about it.

    Hang in there. I do think he's so appalling right now because he's incredibly frustrated and angry. Add in impulsivity and you have fireworks on a major scale. Finding why he's frustrated and helping him reduce it would help, if only you could identify and deal with the problems. Sometimes you can't. But every little bit helps, if you can find the end of the knot to unravel.

    Marg
     
  7. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    Coleen,

    My difficult child brought a teacher to the point that she had to take medical leave, she couldn't handle it and it was starting to take an ugly turn. I found out later that as much as he was a part of it, she was having personal problems as well. Please don't feel like it is all his fault. It's good that the school is now trying to help out more. The impulsiveness is such a huge part of their day. I know since the beginning of this school year all we heard from the teacher was about his impulsiveness and hyperactivity. Now that we have the medications sorted out, is it no longer a big issue.

    I hope it gets better (((HUGS)))
     
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