Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Been a very long time
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 608881" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>KJS, welcome back. Congratulations on the upcoming birth of a new grand baby! </p><p></p><p>I think MWM gave you excellent advice on paternity & DBT. PG's love for her grandson and absolute joy in her daughter's changes come flying off the page and I sincerely hope this is the case for you as well.</p><p></p><p>I have two responses to your post. The first is that if I were in your shoes I would keep my excitement over your son's talking to you in the realm of cautious optimism for the time being, so if that does not continue, you are not disappointed. Not all kids respond to parenthood the way that PG's daughter did. Just to protect your heart. It sounds as if you've already been through a lot.</p><p></p><p>The second thought I had was to do whatever you can to keep yourself well supported. It doesn't appear as if your husband is on your team about your son, so to avoid feeling so alone and isolated, perhaps getting a therapist for yourself to help you ride through this new event in a healthy way. Although I absolutely agree that grand babies bring forth a new level of love, they also bring a new level of worry and concern when our kids are difficult child's. All your anxiety of the past can now be brought to your door once again as you learn to love your grandchild and then attempt to control ALL that you can't control. With the girlfriend and her parents, there is already a lot in place which can start the whole thing all over again.</p><p></p><p>There's a good article here at the bottom of my post on detachment, perhaps it will help. This new baby will give you many reasons to want to step in, however, think through your present thoughts about opening your home to the new family, you mentioned your home is small and you struggle financially. This does not sound like a healthy alternative, it sounds like your mother's heart working overtime trying to figure it out for your son. He is an adult male about to be a father, this is his chance to man up and really take a stand for his family............allow him to make his own choices while you offer guidance, not fixes. And, believe me, I know that's a tough one.</p><p></p><p>Get yourself some real support to help you go through this. Be cautious. Be patient. Don't offer solutions, offer an ear. It looks to me like this is an opportunity to shift the past into something positive. I wish you peace along the way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 608881, member: 13542"] KJS, welcome back. Congratulations on the upcoming birth of a new grand baby! I think MWM gave you excellent advice on paternity & DBT. PG's love for her grandson and absolute joy in her daughter's changes come flying off the page and I sincerely hope this is the case for you as well. I have two responses to your post. The first is that if I were in your shoes I would keep my excitement over your son's talking to you in the realm of cautious optimism for the time being, so if that does not continue, you are not disappointed. Not all kids respond to parenthood the way that PG's daughter did. Just to protect your heart. It sounds as if you've already been through a lot. The second thought I had was to do whatever you can to keep yourself well supported. It doesn't appear as if your husband is on your team about your son, so to avoid feeling so alone and isolated, perhaps getting a therapist for yourself to help you ride through this new event in a healthy way. Although I absolutely agree that grand babies bring forth a new level of love, they also bring a new level of worry and concern when our kids are difficult child's. All your anxiety of the past can now be brought to your door once again as you learn to love your grandchild and then attempt to control ALL that you can't control. With the girlfriend and her parents, there is already a lot in place which can start the whole thing all over again. There's a good article here at the bottom of my post on detachment, perhaps it will help. This new baby will give you many reasons to want to step in, however, think through your present thoughts about opening your home to the new family, you mentioned your home is small and you struggle financially. This does not sound like a healthy alternative, it sounds like your mother's heart working overtime trying to figure it out for your son. He is an adult male about to be a father, this is his chance to man up and really take a stand for his family............allow him to make his own choices while you offer guidance, not fixes. And, believe me, I know that's a tough one. Get yourself some real support to help you go through this. Be cautious. Be patient. Don't offer solutions, offer an ear. It looks to me like this is an opportunity to shift the past into something positive. I wish you peace along the way. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Been a very long time
Top