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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 608884"><p>Hi KJs.</p><p></p><p>I think I would keep the line of communication very open and be more of a listener than a conversationalist - if that makes sense. </p><p></p><p>I also would be very cautious about how you characterize the baby's other grandma. Surely this is as much if a shock to her as it is to you. I am the mom of boys, but I have to imagine that if it were my daughter -- my most immediate concern would be about the pregnancy and her health and her future and less about the baby/parenting logistics. I mean this very gently; I do not think she has any obligation to allow your son to stay in her home when the baby arrives. And I would be very hesitant to even suggest such to your son. All those points about the need to learn and care for his child are very valid- but fall on his shoulders and not yours or hers . I realize that the baby wasn't planned -- but the obligation to support and provide a home for the baby's mom and the baby is HIS and the baby's mom. Obviously, he can't do such, so they will have to settle for a less than ideal co parenting arrangement. But the less than ideal situation is the fruit if his choice; not the fault of maternal grandma and not your responsibility to fix either. </p><p></p><p>Use the conversations with your son to suggest he take a baby CPR class and baby care class or get some books on baby development. Suggest they take a childbirth class. Perhaps you can open your home to the baby overnight a day or two a week and let them have "family time" with the child. If she is close to her parents and needs their financial support, it may be best for her and the baby to live there until she can get on her feet. And your son can speed that up by taking this opportunity to redirect his life with the purpose of supporting his child. </p><p></p><p>See how it fleshes out. I too would be jumping out of my skin if it were my son. I'd want to know the logistics & be focused on the baby and his fatherhood. That day will come- yes get ducks in a row like MWM suggested, but in the mean time, you will have to wait and see. Try to develop your own relationship with the baby's mom- maybe take her to buy some maternity clothes or for a pedicure or teach her to knit etc. Once the baby comes, you & her mom may bond over your mutual love for the baby. </p><p></p><p>Good luck & post often. Nice to "meet" you!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 608884"] Hi KJs. I think I would keep the line of communication very open and be more of a listener than a conversationalist - if that makes sense. I also would be very cautious about how you characterize the baby's other grandma. Surely this is as much if a shock to her as it is to you. I am the mom of boys, but I have to imagine that if it were my daughter -- my most immediate concern would be about the pregnancy and her health and her future and less about the baby/parenting logistics. I mean this very gently; I do not think she has any obligation to allow your son to stay in her home when the baby arrives. And I would be very hesitant to even suggest such to your son. All those points about the need to learn and care for his child are very valid- but fall on his shoulders and not yours or hers . I realize that the baby wasn't planned -- but the obligation to support and provide a home for the baby's mom and the baby is HIS and the baby's mom. Obviously, he can't do such, so they will have to settle for a less than ideal co parenting arrangement. But the less than ideal situation is the fruit if his choice; not the fault of maternal grandma and not your responsibility to fix either. Use the conversations with your son to suggest he take a baby CPR class and baby care class or get some books on baby development. Suggest they take a childbirth class. Perhaps you can open your home to the baby overnight a day or two a week and let them have "family time" with the child. If she is close to her parents and needs their financial support, it may be best for her and the baby to live there until she can get on her feet. And your son can speed that up by taking this opportunity to redirect his life with the purpose of supporting his child. See how it fleshes out. I too would be jumping out of my skin if it were my son. I'd want to know the logistics & be focused on the baby and his fatherhood. That day will come- yes get ducks in a row like MWM suggested, but in the mean time, you will have to wait and see. Try to develop your own relationship with the baby's mom- maybe take her to buy some maternity clothes or for a pedicure or teach her to knit etc. Once the baby comes, you & her mom may bond over your mutual love for the baby. Good luck & post often. Nice to "meet" you!! [/QUOTE]
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