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<blockquote data-quote="Kjs" data-source="post: 611118"><p>Thank you for all the replies/advice.</p><p>I have enjoyed the relationship I have had with my son the past two months. However, recently I see him reverting back. He is really into his hobby - collecting sports cards. I am glad he has a hobby, but he spends SO much money on this he is getting himself deep in a hole. I want to help, but just can't. We got him a more reliable car, as his wasn't going to make it to his work much longer. We put new brakes on it, tires, alignment, oil change. We pay outrageous insurance due to an at fault accident and speeding ticket. He had some things go into collections, which I helped him get out of (with his money). He constantly lies when it comes to things like that. I was a single mom with my older son. (he is 31) I went back to school and worked full time my entire life. Never got one cent of child support.</p><p>My son butts heads with his girlfriend's mother, always has. Going on five years. She does have some serious issues, but can be very nice. I told my son he doesn't have to like her, but he will need to learn to get along with her because she will be in his life for the rest of his life. Also, that I do not ever want to hear him disrespect her infront of his child because it is the childs grandparent. </p><p>Some comments she has made are "this is my daughter and her and the baby will be here and I will make the decisions". I reminded her that the kids are the parents and they need to make the decisions. They cannot at all live on their own. Just cannot afford it.</p><p></p><p>I have been doing some things in our basement, which is finished(old fashion though), to try to make it look nicer. I have tried to bring up programs for them to check into. They did go to a few counseling sessions, and girlfriend continues to go to parenting classes, but are only held during the hours my son is working. He does go to all the appointments. </p><p></p><p>Tonight however, I made him dinner when he got home. He said, "this basement has to be cleaned before my child comes here"....I told him to get busy. He has stopped taking his medicine for the most part. Should of been gone a month ago. His psychiatrist retired. He cannot get into another in this town, not taking new patients and he doesn't believe he need to. Plus would have to take off of work. </p><p>He needs to get his finances in order - they are a mess. I think he is addicted to this sports card thing. Spends WAY too much. I bet an entire paycheck, but that is a guess. I told him his baby can hear now, and they should be singing to it. He got mad at that and said he isn't singing to anyones stomach and started screaming, and swore at me and said he is never happy, only angry and more angry and very angry. I said, "we've been trying to do things to make you happy" (car, basement, information,making food he likes, buying things he needs) and he turned around and screamed and swore and said how I twist everything around and make it about me. That I am the victim. He got in the car and took off. </p><p>He is going to be 19 in December, yet I have to set my alarm and get him up, several times for him to go to work. (and I work nights, so on my day off I would just really like to sleep) I don't want him to misunderstand what I am doing. I am only doing things to help him, and make things the best for him. I cry easy, then when I cry he yells more at me. I am so down in the dumps. So sad. I was only trying to help.</p><p></p><p>I just don't understand. I try so hard to help him out and always end up getting yelled at by one person or another in this house. </p><p></p><p>As for grandchildren. My older son and his wife have two children. my granddaughter is almost 2 and my grandson is 6 months. They light up my life.</p><p></p><p>I know this is all over the place. Just can't think straight right now. I don't see a bright future. difficult child doesn't hold his neice or nephew. Never changed a diaper. Never fed them. I just don't see this going to have a good outcome. He does have good thoughts, good plans..in words. But doesn't follow through with any of it. Just so sad.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kjs, post: 611118"] Thank you for all the replies/advice. I have enjoyed the relationship I have had with my son the past two months. However, recently I see him reverting back. He is really into his hobby - collecting sports cards. I am glad he has a hobby, but he spends SO much money on this he is getting himself deep in a hole. I want to help, but just can't. We got him a more reliable car, as his wasn't going to make it to his work much longer. We put new brakes on it, tires, alignment, oil change. We pay outrageous insurance due to an at fault accident and speeding ticket. He had some things go into collections, which I helped him get out of (with his money). He constantly lies when it comes to things like that. I was a single mom with my older son. (he is 31) I went back to school and worked full time my entire life. Never got one cent of child support. My son butts heads with his girlfriend's mother, always has. Going on five years. She does have some serious issues, but can be very nice. I told my son he doesn't have to like her, but he will need to learn to get along with her because she will be in his life for the rest of his life. Also, that I do not ever want to hear him disrespect her infront of his child because it is the childs grandparent. Some comments she has made are "this is my daughter and her and the baby will be here and I will make the decisions". I reminded her that the kids are the parents and they need to make the decisions. They cannot at all live on their own. Just cannot afford it. I have been doing some things in our basement, which is finished(old fashion though), to try to make it look nicer. I have tried to bring up programs for them to check into. They did go to a few counseling sessions, and girlfriend continues to go to parenting classes, but are only held during the hours my son is working. He does go to all the appointments. Tonight however, I made him dinner when he got home. He said, "this basement has to be cleaned before my child comes here"....I told him to get busy. He has stopped taking his medicine for the most part. Should of been gone a month ago. His psychiatrist retired. He cannot get into another in this town, not taking new patients and he doesn't believe he need to. Plus would have to take off of work. He needs to get his finances in order - they are a mess. I think he is addicted to this sports card thing. Spends WAY too much. I bet an entire paycheck, but that is a guess. I told him his baby can hear now, and they should be singing to it. He got mad at that and said he isn't singing to anyones stomach and started screaming, and swore at me and said he is never happy, only angry and more angry and very angry. I said, "we've been trying to do things to make you happy" (car, basement, information,making food he likes, buying things he needs) and he turned around and screamed and swore and said how I twist everything around and make it about me. That I am the victim. He got in the car and took off. He is going to be 19 in December, yet I have to set my alarm and get him up, several times for him to go to work. (and I work nights, so on my day off I would just really like to sleep) I don't want him to misunderstand what I am doing. I am only doing things to help him, and make things the best for him. I cry easy, then when I cry he yells more at me. I am so down in the dumps. So sad. I was only trying to help. I just don't understand. I try so hard to help him out and always end up getting yelled at by one person or another in this house. As for grandchildren. My older son and his wife have two children. my granddaughter is almost 2 and my grandson is 6 months. They light up my life. I know this is all over the place. Just can't think straight right now. I don't see a bright future. difficult child doesn't hold his neice or nephew. Never changed a diaper. Never fed them. I just don't see this going to have a good outcome. He does have good thoughts, good plans..in words. But doesn't follow through with any of it. Just so sad. [/QUOTE]
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