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Been a while, need some encouragement, tips
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<blockquote data-quote="ducky8888" data-source="post: 602060" data-attributes="member: 15714"><p>Thanks again Suzir, for a helpful reply. I really appreciate it.</p><p></p><p>He is in an IEP and and has good and bad days there. When he is dealing with peers, he has troubles. He does get into cussing/screaming matches with them. The teachers there are trained for kids like him. They us a point system, they start the day at 40 and lose points for behavior. he frequently goes AWOL when he is asked to do things he doesnt like/want to do. In sports he does much better, I think because he is occupied constantly for the few hours a week he spends there. With friends, it is harder to tell because he doesnt have many. From what I can see the kids who do keep a relationship with him are kids who dont mind being bossed/bullied.</p><p></p><p>You are right about the way I react (sometimes). I was venting when I wrote the post. I was not in any way defending or condoning my actions, just explaining to the forum how difficult it can be for me when I get frustrated or overwhelmed with his behavior. This is by no means my standard or typical reaction to him, just an extreme I reach the other day. I am sorry if I didnt explain that well enough. </p><p></p><p>For the record, his father does hit him, and he does do it verging on abuse (leaving marks). He has never punched him or knocked him out, even though he has threatened to do so many times. I dont know what he would actually do if he had to deal with one of the raging fits of destruction that we see in our house so frequently, But he doesnt act like that there. I do not agree with the way he hits (out of anger), although with my own children I have used spankings (or a whack on the butt) to punish for behavior issues/acting out (I know all the controversy about spankings, this is perfectly legal and the way I was raised, no need to go into this). I do not think its appropriate for me to deal physical punishment like this to my "step" children and the only time I get involved physically is when difficult child is acting out violently to property or people, and I do it in a safe manner so he cannot cause harm to anyone, or anything. This is a method called a "crisis-intervention hold" is taught locally for dealing with children/teens with violent outbursts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ducky8888, post: 602060, member: 15714"] Thanks again Suzir, for a helpful reply. I really appreciate it. He is in an IEP and and has good and bad days there. When he is dealing with peers, he has troubles. He does get into cussing/screaming matches with them. The teachers there are trained for kids like him. They us a point system, they start the day at 40 and lose points for behavior. he frequently goes AWOL when he is asked to do things he doesnt like/want to do. In sports he does much better, I think because he is occupied constantly for the few hours a week he spends there. With friends, it is harder to tell because he doesnt have many. From what I can see the kids who do keep a relationship with him are kids who dont mind being bossed/bullied. You are right about the way I react (sometimes). I was venting when I wrote the post. I was not in any way defending or condoning my actions, just explaining to the forum how difficult it can be for me when I get frustrated or overwhelmed with his behavior. This is by no means my standard or typical reaction to him, just an extreme I reach the other day. I am sorry if I didnt explain that well enough. For the record, his father does hit him, and he does do it verging on abuse (leaving marks). He has never punched him or knocked him out, even though he has threatened to do so many times. I dont know what he would actually do if he had to deal with one of the raging fits of destruction that we see in our house so frequently, But he doesnt act like that there. I do not agree with the way he hits (out of anger), although with my own children I have used spankings (or a whack on the butt) to punish for behavior issues/acting out (I know all the controversy about spankings, this is perfectly legal and the way I was raised, no need to go into this). I do not think its appropriate for me to deal physical punishment like this to my "step" children and the only time I get involved physically is when difficult child is acting out violently to property or people, and I do it in a safe manner so he cannot cause harm to anyone, or anything. This is a method called a "crisis-intervention hold" is taught locally for dealing with children/teens with violent outbursts. [/QUOTE]
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