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Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Been a while, need some encouragement, tips
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 602068" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>His issues seem so complex and universal that it is really a shame he hasn't received fuller evaluation and more appropriate treatment. Advocating that is a place to start.</p><p></p><p>How much does he spend time with his father and how much in your home? Severe discipline can suppress some behavioural issues for some time, or at least make a kid better to hide them. Fear works like that. But it doesn't teach skills or work long term. So I wouldn't put much weight for him behaving while on his father's house. It doesn't change the big picture much.</p><p></p><p>You need to get him proper diagnosis, therapy/supports and also help in parenting him. I do recommend parenting classes, they give ideas and provide an arena to really talk about parenting topics and formulate a plan. I know many don't like them or feel they are considered guilty or in wrong on them, but to be honest I believe it has at times more to do with them having feelings of guiltiness themselves. I have been told that feeling guilty is a sign of a good parent, it helps us evaluate our actions and do corrections when needed.</p><p></p><p>You and your SO need to make sense to the chaos you are facing. It is your responsibility as adults of a household.</p><p></p><p>And yeah, I would still consider hard about moving out for sake of your own kids and in hopes of stabilizing the situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 602068, member: 14557"] His issues seem so complex and universal that it is really a shame he hasn't received fuller evaluation and more appropriate treatment. Advocating that is a place to start. How much does he spend time with his father and how much in your home? Severe discipline can suppress some behavioural issues for some time, or at least make a kid better to hide them. Fear works like that. But it doesn't teach skills or work long term. So I wouldn't put much weight for him behaving while on his father's house. It doesn't change the big picture much. You need to get him proper diagnosis, therapy/supports and also help in parenting him. I do recommend parenting classes, they give ideas and provide an arena to really talk about parenting topics and formulate a plan. I know many don't like them or feel they are considered guilty or in wrong on them, but to be honest I believe it has at times more to do with them having feelings of guiltiness themselves. I have been told that feeling guilty is a sign of a good parent, it helps us evaluate our actions and do corrections when needed. You and your SO need to make sense to the chaos you are facing. It is your responsibility as adults of a household. And yeah, I would still consider hard about moving out for sake of your own kids and in hopes of stabilizing the situation. [/QUOTE]
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