Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Been a while, need some encouragement, tips
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 602420" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You are trying to parent him like he is your every day kid. He is differently wired and will not respond to typical parenting. You can do this all day or all year and it will never work. YOu need professional help and your girl needs to step up and get this boy away from his father and this father needs to stop beating his kid. You don't know what is wrong with him and you keep trying the same methods over and over again and they don't work. We have all been there. </p><p></p><p>You can't do it alone. Your girl needs to get a spine and go to court against the abusive ex or nothing will help him. There. You got the same advice I'd give anyone else. And if you don't take the advice, more or less, nothing will change because he isn't your easy child and he's not a "bad" kid. He is both disturbed because of his chaotic life, which probably predates you, and on top of that MAY have complications such as autism thrown in there. </p><p></p><p>He is crying out for help, but discipline alone will do nothing, as you have seen. Getting tough on a differently wired kid, other than beating him into terror (and he'll get you in the end anyway) will not help him. Often, teens who have been beaten, have no problem slamming the older dad into the wall with a fist. Also, they can learn to beat anyone who they get angry at. This doesn't happen to all abused kids, but it affects all of them in very negative ways and they learn very poor coping skills.</p><p></p><p> You can't do it without experts and with changes in his life. His life clearly is not in his best interests on every front (not you, EVERYONE). His parents are failing him and maybe you can drill it into your girlfriend's head that she needs to take the beater to court or call CPS or the cops or do something to stop the boy from having to see him. If he comes back from Dads even with a small bruise, take him to the doctor. Take a picture of it. No child should show ANY mark from being hit and the court will look poorly at a child being bruised by his father, especially multiple times. But your girl needs to build the stones to take action or she is inadvertantly aiding this abusive father in his abuse. </p><p></p><p>I suggest "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene in the meantime. Good luck...this is a very complicated situation and a very disturbed kid with inborn problems and life problems as well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 602420, member: 1550"] You are trying to parent him like he is your every day kid. He is differently wired and will not respond to typical parenting. You can do this all day or all year and it will never work. YOu need professional help and your girl needs to step up and get this boy away from his father and this father needs to stop beating his kid. You don't know what is wrong with him and you keep trying the same methods over and over again and they don't work. We have all been there. You can't do it alone. Your girl needs to get a spine and go to court against the abusive ex or nothing will help him. There. You got the same advice I'd give anyone else. And if you don't take the advice, more or less, nothing will change because he isn't your easy child and he's not a "bad" kid. He is both disturbed because of his chaotic life, which probably predates you, and on top of that MAY have complications such as autism thrown in there. He is crying out for help, but discipline alone will do nothing, as you have seen. Getting tough on a differently wired kid, other than beating him into terror (and he'll get you in the end anyway) will not help him. Often, teens who have been beaten, have no problem slamming the older dad into the wall with a fist. Also, they can learn to beat anyone who they get angry at. This doesn't happen to all abused kids, but it affects all of them in very negative ways and they learn very poor coping skills. You can't do it without experts and with changes in his life. His life clearly is not in his best interests on every front (not you, EVERYONE). His parents are failing him and maybe you can drill it into your girlfriend's head that she needs to take the beater to court or call CPS or the cops or do something to stop the boy from having to see him. If he comes back from Dads even with a small bruise, take him to the doctor. Take a picture of it. No child should show ANY mark from being hit and the court will look poorly at a child being bruised by his father, especially multiple times. But your girl needs to build the stones to take action or she is inadvertantly aiding this abusive father in his abuse. I suggest "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene in the meantime. Good luck...this is a very complicated situation and a very disturbed kid with inborn problems and life problems as well. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Been a while, need some encouragement, tips
Top