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General Parenting
Been a while, need some encouragement, tips
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 602427" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>You have clearly been thinking how to parent him and I think you are in right track. It is indeed most often not worth it to make a fight about starting a chore immediately. And I very well understand how annoying letting it go can be. But often it works better to try to lessen the power struggles. Some planning helps you avoiding those nasty situations all together.</p><p></p><p>For my family it helped that we tried to avoid asking our kids to do something without warning. Especially difficult child's first reaction to anything tended to be no, and still is. You really could had made a fight out of offering him ice cream (he has always adored that stuff), if you wouldn't give him time to consider the offer. Chores were mostly scheduled. At mornings you have to do this and that (get dressed, make a bed, brush teeth, brush hair) before you will get breakfast." "At Mondays after school you have to do this and that before you can do x"" (something he liked) and so on. And when absolutely having to ask them to do something that were not in schedule, we gave warnings. "I need you to do this and that soon", "You could do that now or bit later, but before x" and so on. And if something had to be done right then, we expected a meltdown and were ready to carry him where we needed him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 602427, member: 14557"] You have clearly been thinking how to parent him and I think you are in right track. It is indeed most often not worth it to make a fight about starting a chore immediately. And I very well understand how annoying letting it go can be. But often it works better to try to lessen the power struggles. Some planning helps you avoiding those nasty situations all together. For my family it helped that we tried to avoid asking our kids to do something without warning. Especially difficult child's first reaction to anything tended to be no, and still is. You really could had made a fight out of offering him ice cream (he has always adored that stuff), if you wouldn't give him time to consider the offer. Chores were mostly scheduled. At mornings you have to do this and that (get dressed, make a bed, brush teeth, brush hair) before you will get breakfast." "At Mondays after school you have to do this and that before you can do x"" (something he liked) and so on. And when absolutely having to ask them to do something that were not in schedule, we gave warnings. "I need you to do this and that soon", "You could do that now or bit later, but before x" and so on. And if something had to be done right then, we expected a meltdown and were ready to carry him where we needed him. [/QUOTE]
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