Been awhile, but the drama continues...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by hexemaus2, Sep 6, 2008.

  1. hexemaus2

    hexemaus2 Old hand

    When last we left difficult child #2, back in January of this year, he was sitting in YDC charged with felony obstruction charges for biting the officer(s) that came to help calm him for transport to the ER. Well...so much has happened since then. No charges, no jail time, and no more help than what we started with then. And now we have more legal troubles coming!!

    Short story? A change in psychiatrists, lots of changes in medications, 4 more emergency hospitalizations for stabilization, and loads more difficult child-type drama, countless phone calls, countless office visits to various state and local agencies and organizations, begging, pleading, threatening, and begging some more for someone - anyone to help me get this boy into a secure Residential Treatment Center (RTC) facility before one of us winds up dead, we are now at the end of the line.

    difficult child 2 attacked both of his siblings as well as me this past Tuesday evening. (difficult child 1 is 32 weeks pregnant now, making difficult child 2's violent outbursts just that much more dire.) He pinned his pregnant sister to the ground and was beating her in the head, then pinned his brother to the couch and beat the side of his face bloody, all the while throwing and pushing me around as I tried desperately to keep him away from everyone as he screamed he would kill us all and any cops we called to the house, etc. We wound up running out of the house, locking ourselves in my Jeep, and hauling our hinnies to the police department while difficult child 2 chased the car throwing an unmounted basketball hoop (backboard and all), a 50 gal trash can, stones from the driveway and anything else he could get his hands on at the car.

    The police had EMTs come to the station to check the kids. I asked to have difficult child 2 arrested, but the "powers that be" at YDC said to just release him back to my custody. I refused, another call was made, and YDC still refused to allow him to be arrested. They said to just send him home with me (while difficult child 3 is being seen by EMTs for possible broken bones in his face and difficult child 1 complaining she was having pains in her side.) My kids need immediate medical attention via the ER because their brother attacked them and I'M SUPPOSED TO JUST TAKE HIM BACK HOME????

    No, we went the ER instead, with all 3 kids in tow. difficult children 1 & 3 to be checked out for injuries and difficult child 2 to be admitted to the child's psychiatric ward. difficult child 2 has been inpatient since around 5am Wednesday morning. (Luckily, the other kids all checked out okay - just bruised and sore.) They started him on Geodon Thursday night and wanted to send him home this past Friday. On hearing that, I ran like a wild banshee to juvenile court to see if I could convince them to do something before the hospital released him to come home and kill someone. They said it was a medical problem, not a criminal one. They couldn't do anything. They haven't received the complaint from the local police yet, and even when they do they'll just schedule a court date for me to bring him in again.

    Naturally, at the family meeting where difficult child was supposed to be released from the psychiatric ward, I refused. Hospital staff says its now a legal problem, not a medical one, they can't do anything more. I flat out refused (on advice of his psychiatrist and the head probation officer at juvenile court) to bring him home. They threatened to call DFCS and have me charged with abandonment. (HA!! Live with my difficult child 2 for a few weeks & you'll understand why that holds absolutely NO fear factor for me, you over-educated morons!!) They are giving me until Monday to ensure that this is the decision I want to make.

    Get how they tried to change my mind....I asked if there was a way to negotiate a therapeutic foster home temporarily until we can get him placed in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). The therapist says "no, not with difficult child's history of violent outbursts." So I asked her if I refused to take him home and DFCS took custody, what would they do with him if they wouldn't feel safe placing him in a therapeutic foster home? Her answer, meant to somehow influence me NOT to refuse to take him??? She said they would have to immediately place him in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) facility.

    Umm. Excuse me. Let me get this straight. If I take him home with me, he's going to kill one of us - no doubt in my mind whatsoever. We simply DO NOT have 6-9 MORE months to wait for a spot to open up somewhere. If I refuse to take him home, he'll be placed immediately because of his history, and all I have to do is get arrested and deal with abandonment charges? Umm. Duh. I'll take a smudge on my criminal record if it gets difficult child into a secure setting where he can get the help he needs and our family will finally be safe. (Especially since we'll have a newborn baby in the house in 6-7 weeks!)

    I tried to explain to the hospital staff that I love my son - more than they could ever imagine - and because of that, I simply can't take him back home. When he's calm and lucid, he would never be able to live with himself if he truly hurt someone or worse. But unfortunately, the "other side" of him doesn't care about any of that. He's the side that is going to eventually kill someone if someone doesn't get off their bureaucratic butt and DO SOMETHING!!!

    It's not like I just woke up one morning and decided I just didn't want to deal with my son anymore. We've spent YEARS trying medications, trying therapies, trying everything. Nothing has helped for more than a few weeks. And his violent outbursts get more and more severe with each passing month. For crying out loud - the kid's 5'10" and weighs 200 lbs!! The rest of us are barely 5'2" with my youngest son (difficult child 3) being the heaviest at 150lbs. The last time we called the police it took THREE full-grown men to bring him down and get him handcuffed. How in the world are WE supposed to manage him??!!??

    I have been to every agency there is - juvenile court, DFCS, private doctors, community mental health services, non-profit groups, charitable organizations, political officials, you name it. I've been to all of them. I have begged. I have pleaded. I have cried. I have screamed. I have called lawyers. I have all but offered my soul to the Devil if someone would just Please, Please, Please help us get him more intense care. We've had in-home services, IFI services, cognitive therapists, behavior mod therapists, psychiatrists, neurologists, geneticists, psycho pharmacologists, education consultants, and just about ever other "ist" in the book. There isn't an SSRI, stimulant, or antipsychotic on the market we haven't tried. His medication history encompasses 18 pages of his medical records we've tried so many medication cocktails it's a wonder I'm not a defacto pharmacist!

    I simply have no other options. Waiting the weekend isn't going to change that. Nothing short of Donald Trump walking up to me with a check for difficult child to go to a private Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (to the tune of $60,000 and up!!) would change anything by waiting until Monday. He still can't come home. Not unless they are willing to give me the same options to chemically restrain him at home that they have in the hospital. (I've been asking for that for almost a year now, to no avail. I've even had psychiatrists ask me what I mean by a PRN medication.)

    The way I see it, I have two choices, both of which land me in jail. Based on previous dealings with our local DFCS, if I let him come home and he does seriously injure someone (or worse, Heaven forbid!) I can be held criminally liable for not protecting my other children from a known and documented threat. If I refuse to take him home, they'll arrest me and charge me with abandonment. Hmm. Let's see, both options put me in jail, but the latter option means I go to jail with no one getting hurt. Um. Duh. I'll take the abandonment charges for $4,000, Alex.

    I just think it's so stupid that I have to go to jail to get my son the treatment he needs and make sure the rest of my family is safe. How civilized our society has become. :mad:

    Anyway, sorry to have rambled and ranted in such a long post after having been off the boards for so long. I just needed a minute to rant and rail at the Fates. I knew this was the one place I could do it and other would truly understand. The whole family and everyone close to me is being so supportive (I've already had half a dozen offers to post my bail - two of which asked if it could be pre-paid so I wouldn't have to sit downtown for quite so long) but even as much as I need their support, it's not the same as other parents who understand exactly where I am.
     
  2. Pam R

    Pam R New Member

    Hi, Hex,

    Been a long time and I'd been wondering how things were going for you. Sorry to hear it's not been very good. :(( I hope some miracle occurs and you get Residential Treatment Center (RTC) without the arrest. You've been in my thoughts.

    Pam R.
     
  3. I am so sorry you are in this situation but you're right...this is a no brainer. I know the fear from where you come and absolutely would make the same decision. Good luck. The charges most likely will be a slap on the hand which is much less painful then the physical pain that potentially awaits you and yours should difficult child come back home.

    Good luck. Keep us posted.
     
  4. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    {{{Hex}}} Welcome home, I wish it were under better circumstances. FWIW, could you ask the therapist to choose carefully which charges they would like to lay: abandonment of difficult child 1 or failure to keep difficult child 1, difficult child 3 and your grandchild, safe? I think you are doing the right thing and I hope they are only bluffing.
     
  5. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hex,

    It certainly has been awhile! Sounds like a lot has been going on since you were here last. Both of your girls are having babies! How is difficult child 1? She still going to public high?

    Wow, what a mess with difficult child 2. It is deplorable that you have only these two choices, but I think you are making the right one. You have the other two and your unborn grandchild to be concerned about. difficult child 2's level of violence is off the charts......

    I'm sorry. This is tough. Do you think it's a bluff?

    Sharon
     
  6. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Can I suggest maybe one more angle? Have your other kids go to school tomorrow. They can ask to talk to the school nurse or counselor and tell that person that they were beaten up by their brother whom their mother can not control and they fear for their lives when he comes home. They don't know what to do - can the school give advice on what they can do to stay away from their brother? Maybe a restraint order? If he has a restraint order against his siblings, then he can not live with them?

    But then it sounds like authority that way is so stupid they would just take your other kids away?

    This stinks big time!

    Can the other kids file domestic violence charges against him? They can walk into the police office today and ask to file charges and ask for a restraining order.

    No one seems to be listening to you, but maybe they will listen to the kids?
     
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Hex, it all sounds so miserable.
    I am so sorry for you all.
    I LOVE Andy's idea.
    Stand firm. You can make it happen. You are almost there.
    What are you going to do tonight? Can you keep everyone separated until school in the a.m.?
     
  8. hexemaus2

    hexemaus2 Old hand

    My first thought was that the staff was indeed bluffing, but the more I have thought on it, the less bluff I think it is. While they are a children's hospital, they aren't equipped to house a child long term. They aren't authorized to do much more than simply stabilize him (they don't have anywhere for outdoor activities, routine exercise, etc that the state would mandate for long term inpatient care.) They might be able to hold him for another week or so, but eventually they would have to bring in DFCS - if for nothing else to assume liability for his continued care and to get the state to pick up his medical bill (which grows by $1,200 per day!!)

    I've talked to him about the entire situation every day since he's been there. As always, I visit him during normal visiting hours each day, and each day we talk about why he's there and what options we have. He knows I'm "going to send him away," as he puts it. He's heartbroken and understandably frustrated that I won't just let him come back home. What he doesn't understand is that this is "my Mike" I'm talking with now - the one who is calm, lucid, and can make rational decisions. However, once he comes home, "Fluffy" (his name for his uncontrollable angry side) will take over again and Lord only knows what will happen then. "My Mike" can make all the promises in the world for when he comes home, but I know how little "control" he has over "Fluffy." He hasn't come to understand or accept the same view I have. "My Mike" doesn't want to hurt anyone and can't seem to understand why he has to "go away" somewhere.

    As for difficult child 1, she's actually doing remarkably well. She's not in public school anymore. (That was a disaster!) However, she's taking online classes through the public school as a supplement to her home school studies. She's studying web design and loving it. (Her current grade is a 92 and she's always the first one to turn in assignments.) Her attitude erupts from time to time, but nothing more than what I would consider typical teen stuff. People look at me like I have six heads when I tell them that I think being a teen mom might actually snap her into the real world. (How could I possibly think a teen pregnancy could ever be a "good" thing?) It's far from an ideal situation, and definitely NOT a path I certainly would have chosen for her. However, I've seen so many good and positive changes in her overall behavior and attitude towards everything, that I can't help but think that it may turn out to be a good thing in the long run.

    What breaks my heart is that when we found out she was pregnant, everyone (friends and family) was so supportive of her to her face, but to me they expressed concern, fear, disappointment, etc. Like it was somehow the end of the world (which it isn't - there are far, far worse things that could befall a difficult child - as we all know.) Yet just a few short months later, when my oldest found out she was pregnant (she was the .1% for whom the pill did not prevent pregnancy) everyone was so happy for her, simply because "at least she's married." Yes, she's married, but only 3 years older than difficult child 1. At only 19, she's still too young to be a Mom too. But just because she is married, everyone has a much different outlook on her. And difficult child 1 sees this. She's not stupid. She knows her grandparents treat her sister's pregnancy differently and I know it hurts her. It breaks my heart for her, but I think it's somehow stealing her nerves and helping to motivate her to prove everyone wrong - that she CAN do this, she CAN handle being a Mom at such a young age. In that regard, difficult child 1 is alot like her own Mom (me - ;)) - the more you tell her she can't do something, the more determined she becomes to not only do it, but do it better than anyone else.

    I am proud of her in that she's looking ahead to her future, making plans for navigating college and work with a baby in tow, trying to get her ducks in a row so she CAN do this. Of that, I am immensely proud. While it's still not an ideal situation, I have hope that she will be able to make the best of it and be "okay" in the long run. She'll have some scars and bruises from the journey - just like I did - but I truly think that in the long run, she and the baby will be okay. (She's having a girl, by the way - which brought peals of evil laughter out of me when the doctor said it. She'll get to go through that rechid "I hate you, Mom" phase that girls seem to experience so much more intensely than boys. My little evil side just couldn't help but giggle at the thought - that whole "I hope you have one just like you" Mother's curse and all that. Bad mom, bad, bad, mom. :tongue:)

    And difficult child 3, well, he's my rock as always. I joke that he's my Switzerland - always the neutral party. His hyperactivity issues are so minor compared to the issues I've had with his siblings, that it's almost like having a easy child. Unfortunately, like me he has trouble sleeping at night. Like me, he enjoys being the only one awake while the rest of the world sleeps. It's so quiet and peaceful - especially in light of difficult child 2's issues and constant outbursts. Right, wrong, or indifferent, we both enjoy the times when we are both up all night and can just sit and talk, or read, or watch a movie. I truly enjoy his company. (I can have adult-level debates with him about politics, religion, society's stupidities, or just about any subject. He really is an amazing individual and so wise beyond his years that sometimes it's staggering to realize he's only 13!!)

    I can honestly say that there have been times where he is the ONLY reason I haven't given up and just quit. I couldn't live with myself if I left him on his own. He's such a caring, gentle soul. The kind of person who would spend his entire life trying to make the world a better place somehow. HE is what reminds me that all the difficult child b.s. I go through everyday ISN'T my fault or my "bad parenting." After all, he's turning out just fine (and finally maybe difficult child 1 will too!) He is my one and only true, constant joy in life - the one I can always depend on to be the light at the end of the tunnel for me, if that makes sense. He means the world to me. Not that I love him more than the others or anything, but I am so grateful that he's such a good kid and such a joy to be around. He is my bright spot in a sea of endless black.

    He and difficult child 1 are the only fears I have in regards to getting arrested tomorrow. Before I take this last drastic step, I plan to meet with our lawyers to make sure my decision won't put them at risk. If there's even a slight chance that DFCS could remove them from my home, I'll have to back down from refusing to take difficult child 2 home. Provided DFCS won't have any legal ground to remove them, I plan to dig my heels in and refuse to take difficult child 2 - even if that means going to jail. (But I plan to make a few calls to the local news media first, before handcuffs ever touch my wrists - someone out there needs to know the drastic measures parents like us are pushed to!)

    I have to keep believing that somewhere out there are the right answers for my son. I have to keep believing that if I take drastic measures, I'll force someone's hand to help my son before it's too late. At least I'll be able to lay my head down at night and know I did absolutely everything within my power to get him the help he so desperately needs. Especially given that the hospital staff brought up the subject of Conduct Disorder in regards to difficult child 2 for the first time ever. Even having such a diagnosis mentioned as a faint possibility later down the road scared the beejeebers out of me. (He doesn't fit the criteria yet, but he's darn close, according to the hospital staff.)

    I have to admit, I'm scared poopless at what I'm about to do, but it doesn't change the resolve I feel. I know I don't have any other options. This is, for all intents and purposes, the end of the line. In terms of the options I have, it's the least of all the evils I have to chose from. At least this way, no one gets hurt.

    But what a sad state to be left with such dismal choices. It shatters my already broken heart. It brings me darn near a meltdown of my own - I almost decked the woman at juvenile court when she simply walked out of the room without a word and refused to speak to me anymore. (*How dare I invade her perfectly rational little world and all of its perfectly acceptable little answers with the reality of my son's situation!?!*) I can honestly understand now how someone could be pushed to such an extent to "go Postal," if you know what I mean. I can see how close I am to such a breaking point and THAT is truly scary! I know I would never cross that line, but the fact that I can understand how someone who maybe isn't as strong could be pushed over that line? That kind of understanding is quite frankly, frightening. If it weren't for all I stand to lose, my other kids, my home, my business? I could see myself going off on someone and socking someone right in the nose for being so blind, stupid, and uncaring about my son. THAT scares me alot more than the prospect of going to jail for abandonment.
     
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hex...Im sorry it has come to this. I really truly am but it doesnt surprise me much.

    They may be bluffing but may not be. The abandonment charges may be something that they do less as a handcuff and arrest type thing and more of a "could you please come to court and answer to this" type deal. I mean really, can you imagine the public outcry if the pictures of your kids bloody and bruised and you getting led away in handcuffs hit the media all because you wanted to get your kid help and DCFS said you had to take him home so he could abuse you and the kids some more? Oh yeah...that would go over well considering how many cases there have been lately of social worker neglect.

    I hope this really doesnt turn into the nightmare it could be. Maybe someone will come to their senses and see that they are really supposed to do their jobs for the good of the child. One can hope anyway.
     
  10. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    No advice- just sending {{{HUGS}}}. I do agree that our society is broken.
     
  11. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Hi Hex,

    Sending a boatload of hugs, prayers, good juju, vibes, and hopes that all fares well. I am so sorry that you are going through this!
     
  12. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    So, they won't take difficult child because they can't afford it and there isn't a bed, but if you don't take him home somehow they can afford to house and feed your other two? Hah! Bluff or not, you need to stand your ground, I think. After what happened up here in Washington State last week with the young man whose mother kept telling anyone and everyone who would listen "Press charges. He's dangerous. "Take him away". He killed six people, including a police officer. Granted, he was in his 20's. No one faults the mom, even the police know he was mentally unstable and that the mother had done all she could. But why do we keep letting things go like nothing bad is ever going to happen, or the police (or the doctor or DCFS) won't feel badly so long as it doesn't happen on their watch?

    I'm so sorry for all of you. It's just not right.
     
  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hex,
    I'm so sorry you are facing the choice you have. I admire your resolve. It isn't easy but you are doing what you know needs to be done. Our society is broken-how deplorable that this is what you have to do to keep your family safe. This isn't how it should be. Many prayers and hugs going out to you and yours.
     
  14. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hex,

    I am SO sorry. This is just the most ridiculous stand on the part of the courts. You "can't" press charges against your son for beating his pregnant sister and his brother to the point of ER visits and checks for broken bones? They want you to take him home???

    I think that the people who make the decisions are smoking crack.

    You have my total support. If there is a state representative, media person, or anyone else that we can send our pleas to so that you get some help, just let us know. I will send letters, emails, phone calls, anything and everything that will help.

    I think the juvy court people who walked away from you should be charged. NOT YOU!!!!

    I am sending prayers and hugs to you and the difficult children. It is so hard when the difficult child has lucid times and then times when "fluffy" the monster takes over. And that the lucid difficult child doesn't realize what he did. How does lucid "Mike" feel about beating his preg sister and coming close to breaking bones in his brother's face?? Has he addressed that?

    Is th elucid part truly unaware of what "Fluffy" does? Is this dissociation, or multiple personalities, or something else going on?

    PLEASE go to the media. Public pressure is going to be the ONLY way you get the help you need for this desperately ill child.

    Stay safe.

    Susie
     
  15. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Hex -

    Hey sista - what up!? Gosh so much I want to tell you and how much I've thought about you since you've been gone......

    AND I have been EXACTLY where you are right now.....and did the same thing. I told them to TAKE ME TO JAIL.......

    Look into getting a petition of incorrigibility filed TOMORROW with your local family court - you have enough documentation and this may keep you from going to jail.

    There are places that Fluffy can thrive in until he's controlled and you have 99% mike - but he needs a locked down facility - psychiatric hospital that has staff familiar with his needs. Is there a chance he's schizophrenic? Comes to mind with naming his alter egos. And the flipping out with so much violence.

    He needs someone to watch his cycles and chart them. (okay yeah I hear ya duh, duh star) but seriously -

    OH an CONGRATULATIONS GRAMMY - Is it a baby boy or girl?

    I feel - BOY! Any names?

    Okay - first things first - tomorrow call family court and FILE a petition of incorrigibility and have him removed from your home and put in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - out of state if must be......I can recommend some good psychiatric hospitals here if you need help PM me.

    I'm off to court tomorrow for our felon Dude's 2nd charge and possible 15 years......oh joy!

    Hugs - really big ones for all!
    Star
     
  16. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    The ONLY think I worry about with the suggestion Andys had (while a good one in thought and heart) is that IF they MAKE you take Mike home - and you do - and the kids go to school and say they are scared to live at home - the school would be compelled to call DCFS and DCFS COULD have them placed out of the home in foster care UNTIL you find Mike a placement. Its a good thought - but ONLY if you KNEW for 100% certain Mike wasn't going to come home - and then you'd have DFCS looming over your every move with the newborn......

    Just a second view....

    It's sad - really sad that I know any of this is possible - your kids have a right to be /feel safe in their own home.......

    Call the family court - ask to speak to the clerk of courts.......find out what is involved in a petition of incorrigibility.....and what rights that gives you and Mike.
     
  17. hexemaus2

    hexemaus2 Old hand

    Awe Starbie. My wonderfully twistedly hilarious Starbie. How I've missed your sharp sense of humor. You never cease to make me smile - even in my darkest hours and I absolutely love you for it. :) (by the way, difficult child 1 still remembers "that lady" who taught her to think of herself as "unique" instead of a "freak." :D)

    The issue with the kids talking to the school is somewhat of a non-issue. I am their school, since they are all homeschooled. But definitely good to see both sides of the idea for someone else coming along in a similar situation. It's always good to be able to see both sides of the coin before you flip it.

    I did somewhat stumble on a possible different avenue to take. I got a call today from the Sgt who initially handled the whole affair at the police department Tuesday night. He came in on his day off to make sure the reports and statements were finished so they will get to Department of Juvenile Justice first thing in the morning - in case someone there might be able to do something. In getting things together, he realized I had not signed my statement so he called and asked me to come up to the station. (Our house is only two blocks from the station.)

    He had already left, but I talked with the lady in charge of dispatch for the shift. (The sgt. left the paperwork with her for me to sign.) We talked for nearly two hours. Her mother was Bipolar and she had cared for her for years through treatments, several strokes, etc. She understood the situation we're in, having lived through something very similar herself - fighting the MH system all the way for her "combative" mother. She even called an officer back to the station to see what insight he could give - which wasn't much when we both realized that particular officer wasn't the best choice. (He kept insisting that the system really does work...we both wound up laughing at him for his "simpleton" outlook on "the system." lol.)

    The conversation with her, however, was actually quite productive. She gave me resource numbers from their (the police department's) rolodex for various state-level agencies. The "back door" names and numbers that we peons never get access to, if you know what I mean. Talk about a valuable little list!! (It will let me cut right through those irritating gate keepers that answer the "public" numbers, but never really get you to anyone useful.) She has also set me up with a meeting with the Captain and the Chief of Police for first thing in the morning. After explaining to her (the short version) everything we've done, tried, agencies we've been bounced between, etc., she said the same thing everyone else has said. Is there no one who will DO SOMETHING for this kid??!! We're hoping that the Captain and the Chief might be able to make some calls for me in the morning to get something moving.

    She was honest in that she can't guarantee that they can do anything, but it's definitely worth a try. At least someone, somewhere is willing to give it a shot and not just push us off onto the next poor state employee somewhere. Perhaps one of the two just calling the staff at the hospital (since it IS a state-run, state-funded children's hospital) might push them into doing more. (Especially given that she looked up our address in the PD's computer to find 22 reports in the last 2 years!!! 22 times I've had to have officers out to the house to help me with difficult child 2!!! Wow! I didn't even realize there were quite that many.) If not the hospital, they can surely call Department of Juvenile Justice and put some pressure on someone there. A call from the Chief of Police might carry more weight than just a call from some kid's mom. And they'll have the ability to fax all those reports over to Department of Juvenile Justice to help make our case.

    If nothing else, maybe they can help get the powers that be at Department of Juvenile Justice to help us clue the hospital in on just how dire the situation really is. At the very least, I can get copies of the reports (which, since they are in reference to a juvenile, are usually only released to Department of Juvenile Justice) to help bolster MY own case in front of a judge, should the hospital follow through with their threats to have me charged with abandonment. (I did find out that the hospital where difficult child 2 is has the ability to refer AND transport him to a state-run mental health facility down in south Georgia that IS set up for longer-term care - not the best option, but at least we would all be safe and have more time to find him more suitable placement. That little bit of knowledge gives me a counter offer, of sorts, to challenge the hospital's decision to discharge him.)

    We'll see what happens tomorrow morning. For all I know, they won't be able to do anything. But at least for a few hours tonight, I have a little hope that maybe someone might actually get off their :censored2: for a change and help us before it's too late.

    I'm still calling our lawyers in the morning - and I surely will be asking about Star's idea to file that petition. Whatever I have to do, I'll do. I'm throwing all my eggs in the frying pan in the morning - we'll see which yolks break and which ones stay whole, if you know what I mean. The more options the better.

    My hopes might very well wind up dashed tomorrow morning...but at least for tonight there is a glimmer of hope. I'll take whatever I can at this point. At least I might be able to sleep tonight so I have the ya-yas to go to war with the system tomorrow.

    Thank you all so much for being here. The boards have always been such a comfort to me when all else seems turned upside down. I've learned so much over the years from all the wonderful members here - mostly how to keep my head and stand my ground no matter what. That kind of strength has to be quite simply the most valuable asset the parent of a difficult child can have. Thank you all for helping me to shine my warrior mom suit and sharpen my sword for the battle ahead of me tomorrow.

    I may well be behind bars before the day is over, but knowing and being reassured that I'm doing the right thing will make it all bearable. Hopefully, it won't go to such an extreme. I pray it won't, but we have plans in place for just in case it does. I have someone to pick up the other kids and keep them until whenever I get out. I have several options for folks to post my bail. And I have copies of everything - log books with contact names, numbers, and dates of conversations, my parent report, police reports, medical records, etc. - ready to drop off at the lawyer's office (not to mention copies that have already been sent to my parents so they have them, just in case.)

    This is one warrior mom who simply refuses to take no for an answer anymore. Not without putting up one hellova fight!!

    Thank you again, guys. You all mean so very much to me. I promise not to stay away for so long again. I need you guys too much. :)
     
  18. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hex,

    one of those angels along the way........

    I hope the resources she gave you help out today.

    My thoughts and support are with you today.

    Sharon
     
  19. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hex, so sorry for what has happened. I know your mommy heart is hurting and you can not even take the time to tend to it. HUGS!

    Sending all possible warrior mom vibes out to you today. You can do this! You are definately in the fight for difficult children life today!

    YOU GO WARRIOR MOM!!!

    :warrior:
     
  20. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hew,

    That dispatcher is one of the angels. Glad she was able to give you some real phone numbers (instead of the ones that "promise" help to us and are staffed by fake people who just say NO - too much Nancy Reagan in them, in my opinion).

    I hope the Chief of Police can help, or someone else on the list.

    Let US know if we can help by calling the media or police or whomever.

    Stand your ground Warrior Mom! You know what your kids all need.

    Remember we are always here for you!!
     
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