Been awhile...good update

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by horserider, Jan 21, 2010.

  1. horserider

    horserider New Member

    :D Hello everyone

    I can't believe it's Jan. is almost over! I had a lot of catching up to do reading posts and seeing how everyone is doing. My difficult child has been having home visits every weekend since Christmas, from the jjc program he is in. Still not on medications, but tremendous improvements, no longer swearing at me, no name calling, no violence. Doing well in school also. He is scheduled to be released early March. It's been a long road (since July 31), he turned 17 while in the jjc so he knows if he gets himself in the "system" again it will be adult prison. This will be the hardest transition, (he's been in and out of Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s) and yet I hold out the most hope. It is our last chance because of his age, no more county mental health services.

    I do not live at home, (moved into my mom's vacant condo) have come to terms with- being seperated from my husband and my difficult child is handling it well so far. My pts is still an issue, I just hope my husband and difficult child can get along okay, until he goes to college or ? I still will not drive alone with my difficult child (had tramatic episodes while driving and with him driving-never again) difficult child's therpist said in family session yesterday it will take your mom time to earn your trust back. I don't know if I will ever feel comfortable enough, it may take years. The three of us get along okay on the weekend though and go bowling, to the movies etc.

    I got a new part time job a few months ago and they just offered me full time, which I accepted. Great company, great people, I am so lucky. So things are finally improving. Keep me strong through this transition home in March board friends. I will be supportive, visit/spend time with difficult child often but I am struggling with guilt because I just can't come to terms with moving back home. I have told difficult child (he want's to "fix" things between mom & dad), that he is not the reason I am not moving back. I strongly feel things will be better this way. Sad to say I seem to get along better now with my husband, then when I lived with him.

    Take care, hugs
  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Horserider, GREAT update! Thank you!
    Clearly, if you are calm, focused, working FT, and able to get along with-your husband when you are separated, you are doing all the right things. I say, keep doing whatever you are doing.
    Congrats on the FT offer!
    PS Try to lose the guilt. I understand where you're coming from but it isn't doing you any good. ;)