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Been here before. Looking for some advice
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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 740470" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>Hi Drew,</p><p></p><p>I ran across something today that made me think of your daughter. Have you heard of "Hikikomori"? This is a phenomenon most widely seen in Japan with young people who are refusing to leave their homes or sometimes their rooms, cutting themselves completely off from society (except online). It is often associated with obsessive internet use or gaming as well. I found it interesting because most people seem to agree it is NOT necessarily the result of a defined mental illness, but rather a complex phenomenon of its own with interlocking personal, family, social and societal factors. It's apparently become rather common in Japan among the young generation but is seen as a growing phenomenon in western countries as well. </p><p></p><p>Here are a few articles: </p><p><a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/hikikomori-worrying-mental-health-problem-traps-japanese-at-home-2018-1" target="_blank">https://www.businessinsider.com/hikikomori-worrying-mental-health-problem-traps-japanese-at-home-2018-1</a> </p><p><a href="https://www.nippon.com/en/column/g00455/" target="_blank">https://www.nippon.com/en/column/g00455/</a></p><p><a href="https://www.nationalgeographic.com/photography/proof/2018/february/japan-hikikomori-isolation-society/" target="_blank">https://www.nationalgeographic.com/photography/proof/2018/february/japan-hikikomori-isolation-society/</a></p><p><a href="https://www.cnn.com/2016/09/11/asia/japanese-millennials-hikikomori-social-recluse/index.html" target="_blank">https://www.cnn.com/2016/09/11/asia/japanese-millennials-hikikomori-social-recluse/index.html</a></p><p></p><p>And a more scientific look: </p><p><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4776119/" target="_blank">https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4776119/</a></p><p></p><p>I found this interesting because rather than just looking at it as an individual mental illness it looks at it from more of a societal viewpoint, looking at how new technologies, changing social expectations and pressures, etc. are driving more young people to withdraw from society. Many of them apparently do not fit the diagnostic criteria for mental illness - they just don't want to leave their houses or rooms.</p><p></p><p>A couple of other things that struck me: </p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">It does seem that the longer it continues the harder it is to address - 'Won't' does indeed become 'can't' over time </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">There seems to be an element of fear of failure for a lot of these young people - the withdrawal often started after they failed at a goal that was important to them or to their parents, such as failing a class or failing to make a team. They just lose their confidence to be able to get back up and try again somehow. (It sounds like your daughter was doing well for a while until something undefined happened with this friend and perhaps her larger social group?)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">"treatment" seems to be gradual, supportive reentry into society. The more interaction they have with people and the world outside their houses the better they get. Things like horse therapy, etc. seem to have been helpful for some. In Japan, they have "Rent a Sister" companies that send young women to young men's houses to act like sisters and try to lure them out of their rooms! (Rent-a-brother is apparently a newer phenomenon, as more men than women are affected. I have no idea why they think the cross-gender aspect is important, since these women are acting as "sisters" and not as girlfriends. That may be something culturally specific to Japan?)</li> </ul><p>I have no idea if any of this will resonate or apply to your daughter at all, but I thought I would pass it on just in case you find something interesting here. It is entirely possible that your daughter is indeed somewhere on the spectrum or suffering from a mental illness. But if ongoing therapy and evaluation doesn't turn up anything specific, perhaps this is another way of looking at the problem. </p><p></p><p>I hope she makes some progress this week!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 740470, member: 23349"] Hi Drew, I ran across something today that made me think of your daughter. Have you heard of "Hikikomori"? This is a phenomenon most widely seen in Japan with young people who are refusing to leave their homes or sometimes their rooms, cutting themselves completely off from society (except online). It is often associated with obsessive internet use or gaming as well. I found it interesting because most people seem to agree it is NOT necessarily the result of a defined mental illness, but rather a complex phenomenon of its own with interlocking personal, family, social and societal factors. It's apparently become rather common in Japan among the young generation but is seen as a growing phenomenon in western countries as well. Here are a few articles: [URL]https://www.businessinsider.com/hikikomori-worrying-mental-health-problem-traps-japanese-at-home-2018-1[/URL] [URL]https://www.nippon.com/en/column/g00455/[/URL] [URL]https://www.nationalgeographic.com/photography/proof/2018/february/japan-hikikomori-isolation-society/[/URL] [URL]https://www.cnn.com/2016/09/11/asia/japanese-millennials-hikikomori-social-recluse/index.html[/URL] And a more scientific look: [URL]https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4776119/[/URL] I found this interesting because rather than just looking at it as an individual mental illness it looks at it from more of a societal viewpoint, looking at how new technologies, changing social expectations and pressures, etc. are driving more young people to withdraw from society. Many of them apparently do not fit the diagnostic criteria for mental illness - they just don't want to leave their houses or rooms. A couple of other things that struck me: [LIST] [*]It does seem that the longer it continues the harder it is to address - 'Won't' does indeed become 'can't' over time [*]There seems to be an element of fear of failure for a lot of these young people - the withdrawal often started after they failed at a goal that was important to them or to their parents, such as failing a class or failing to make a team. They just lose their confidence to be able to get back up and try again somehow. (It sounds like your daughter was doing well for a while until something undefined happened with this friend and perhaps her larger social group?) [*]"treatment" seems to be gradual, supportive reentry into society. The more interaction they have with people and the world outside their houses the better they get. Things like horse therapy, etc. seem to have been helpful for some. In Japan, they have "Rent a Sister" companies that send young women to young men's houses to act like sisters and try to lure them out of their rooms! (Rent-a-brother is apparently a newer phenomenon, as more men than women are affected. I have no idea why they think the cross-gender aspect is important, since these women are acting as "sisters" and not as girlfriends. That may be something culturally specific to Japan?) [/LIST] I have no idea if any of this will resonate or apply to your daughter at all, but I thought I would pass it on just in case you find something interesting here. It is entirely possible that your daughter is indeed somewhere on the spectrum or suffering from a mental illness. But if ongoing therapy and evaluation doesn't turn up anything specific, perhaps this is another way of looking at the problem. I hope she makes some progress this week! [/QUOTE]
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