Been missing you all! Update...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by lovemysons, Oct 6, 2015.

  1. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Hi everyone :)

    I think it's been close to 6 months since I posted last. I do read all of the time to keep up with what's happening and continue to learn or be reminded of so much!

    As I recall...the last thing I posted had to do with young difficult child moving back in with us. Well, he is still here. I think he may have had a drink once or twice since living with us but for the most part is sober. I can't tell you how pleasant he has been to have around since being mostly sober!

    He is not working and we have decided to pursue disability as he still exhibits signs of depression...sleeps a lot, is not motivated to do much etc. And has a long paper trail from various hospital's.
    We have basically resigned ourselves to the fact that he may be living with us the rest of our lives.
    I have GOT to get him more involved with laundry and dishes!!! lol

    Meanwhile, easy child has gotten married to the young man she was dating 2 yrs ago. He is studying to become a Dr. and easy child is STILL working on getting her Bachelor's degree...this SHOULD be her last semester! They eloped and we only met his parents for the first time this past Sunday night. He comes from a good family and easy child seems happy...though I do think my new son-in-law is rather insecure and has trouble with trusting that easy child is going where she says she is going. Hopefully he works on this before it causes too many problems in the relationship.

    I don't see oldest difficult child much at all. Did make a surprise visit to his house a few weeks ago to deliver presents to his youngest daughter. He is a pretty cocky person and loves to flaunt how much money he makes to all!
    He and his family have just moved into a new house they had built...but they have not disclosed their new address and who knows if they will. He continues to say that we "need to focus on Jesus".
    LOL he has no idea how much I pray for him on a regular basis! As you all may recall...I am Never to bring up my mental Illness around his family and he is also very much afraid of his own sorted past...Has told husband that he needs to control "his wife's mouth!" LOL

    Dear husband and I are doing great! We went on a trip to Vegas this past summer and had a lot of fun. Have 2 trips planned next yr. One in Cabo and the other in Steamboat Springs Co.
    We are saving money just as much as we can...putting tons away in 401k etc to try and make up for all the yrs of spending on the kids...particularly Oldest difficult child and Young difficult child. As we all know problem kids cost a fortune!!!

    That's pretty much all I have for now.
    Love to you all,
  2. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Hi LMS!

    Glad to see you back!

    Has Difficult Child tried to find work?
  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks for the update LMS. I do think about you often. Not a bad update, glad you are taking care of yourself.
  4. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Very dear LMS, it is so wonderful to see a post from you. Every day I log on mainly to see if you have posted. I didn't want to nag you. I was so happy to read your update and see that you and your husband are finally looking after yourselves and making sure that you have a life together. I'm happy your daughter is married to someone whom you seem to like. I don't have any words of wisdom, just really wanted to send you a big hug.

    Love, Esther
  5. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi LMS. It is so good to hear from you. You sound happy and at peace.

  6. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Hi AppleCori,
    Yes difficult child has worked in the past 6 months but suffered severe heat exhaustion and does not have a vehicle since it was repossessed after failing to make payments on a title loan.
    We also do not have bus transportation yet in the area we live so he has to rely on dear husband, who is a VERY busy man, or his own two feet to get anywhere. I no longer have a vehicle as I gave it to our daughter so she could get back and forth to school and work.
    So I am mostly at home with young difficult child.

    Hi Nancy,
    Yes, am trying to take better care of myself. I have started walking very early in the mornings with dear husband and seeing doctors pretty regularly. I have decided to quit smoking at the end of this yr. I am going to try the Vap thing as I know quitting Nicotine after all these yrs would be very very difficult!

    Hi sweet Esther,
    BIG hugs back to you! Yes, dear husband and I are trying very hard to play catch up when it comes to preparing for our future.
    I am going to PM you my Facebook info so we can be Facebook friends if you want. Stay well my friend.

    Hi Kathy,
    I am happy most of the time...however I do have my concerns about young difficult child. You see, he has no value system, no moral compass in my opinion. He does not make an effort to talk to his kids regularly, pursue work, or really anything meaningful. I sometimes worry that we have the EXACT MO of a young man who is very lonely and without purpose. The exact MO of those I see on the news.
    He spends most of his time on the Internet...I don't really know what Forums just that he is trying to figure out things. But he doesn't look to G-d for the answers. He asks a lot of Big questions but doesn't really listen to the opinions/truths of others. He likes to debate a subject...but for what purpose.

    I am hoping that once we get him on Disability that he will be seeing a Dr on a regular basis. If he will not look outside himself spiritually than maybe modern medicine will be his answer if he will allow it to work. He is, after all, a 26 yr old young man who has fathered 3 children, been in the Army, been to Prison, etc. It is difficult to force him to comply with medicine at this age.

    He is like a little boy in a lot of ways Kathy. I cook, I clean, and he eats, sleeps and plays. So you can see this picture in not completely rosy. I don't know what the future holds.
    I do know, that for dear husband and I, we could not allow young difficult child to be homeless for long. He needs help.
    I just hope that we are able to help him in time.
    If I had his life, honestly, I would be pretty depressed too.
    His wife has moved on with a new boyfriend and boyfriend's children. His own children now refer to the boyfriends kids as their "step brothers". Even difficult child's youngest daughter is calling this new boyfriend "daddy".

    He can't do laborsome work anymore...that much is evident and I just...well, I don't know where this is going.
    SO even though much in dear husband's and my life is "peaceful"...I sometimes feel that we are casually driving down the road that leads to a fatal crash. Something has to change about this situation.
    All in all...Life is good...but as I said before, there are still concerns.
    Thank you all for checking in on me. I am and will always be forever grateful that I found this Board so many yrs ago and can share with people who truly understand.

    Love you guys,
  7. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    LMS, I'm a former smoker who vapes and knows her way around the vaping scene.

    PLEASE, before you purchase any equipment, PM me. I'll give you the info you need to get started as inexpensively as possible and to make sure you have a positive experience that gives you the best chance possible of getting off the "stinkies.

    I'll send you a list of what equipment to buy, what juices to try, some vendors that will give you fair prices, etc., You will want to order as much as possible off hte internet to save money, but i recommend buying your first setup at a good vape shop so they can show you how to take it apart to clean it, how to change coils, etc.

    The reason you want a shopping list from someone with experience is so that you don't wind up being sold a cadillac when what you need is a Honda Civic.

    In fact, PM me your mailing address when you are ready to start vaping and I'll send you my usual "goodie kit" that I send to newbie vapers.
  8. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    You are so very thoughtful. Thank You so much for your offer.
    I do have plans to go with easy child to the Vap stores as easy child knows a lot about this too since she vaps.

    I will PM you when I get closer to making this change.
    Thanks again. :)