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Substance Abuse
Beginning of the end?
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<blockquote data-quote="everywoman" data-source="post: 127707" data-attributes="member: 1436"><p>Mikey---I think, that sadly, this is just the end of the beginning of your story. wife may never give up on McWeedy. She will be like many parents I have seen, and he will **** her dry until her death. He will use and abuse her love, and she will give in over and over. I know you will not take any action....you are as stuck as she is in this situation...but please take note---his choices are his, her choices are hers, and you can only own your own choices. That's all you are responsible for----</p><p></p><p>The truth is that most law enforcement agencies----withstanding the ones that 3D talks about in her posts----don't really do anything to "our" kids. Most of them get a slap on the wrist. Over and over again. Unless they do something really big....</p><p>difficult child has been arrested 5 times since he was 14. </p><p>1st arrest--- trespassing in a historical site---- juviniel diversion. </p><p>2nd arrest---bashing mailboxes----------------1 year probation</p><p>3rd arrest---stealing and pawning my jewelry....PTI</p><p>4th arrest---felony forgery---------------------1 year probabtion</p><p>5th arrest----minor in possession of alcohol------3 month suspension</p><p>He has not learned anything from any form of punishment dealt out by law enforcement. He has violated probation numerous times and not had a single thing done to him. He even didn't show for a meeting and told his PO that he didn't because he would have a dirty test. She didn't vioalate him. </p><p></p><p>difficult child moved out in January. It was the first time he voluntarily left out home. We had thrown him out 3 times before. This time there is no guilt about his leaving. He is going to school---it is not my problem whether he passes or not---I'm not paying for it. He is paying for his own living expenses---with some assistance from us if he "needs" it. He is still the same kid. He may never change. I had to change the way I viewed him or I would have lost him forever. I disliked him and his choices so much. I took them as an afront to everything I had taught him. I was much too involved in who he was. Detachment helps with that. I now can love him without liking his choices. I can see the good parts of him again. I can choose to let go of his flaws and let him own them. </p><p></p><p> husband and I aren't always on the same page. But his relationship with difficult child is his....I have my relationship with difficult child. We are both his parents, but we are seperate people. Everyone brings with them into their relationships their own biases. I can't expect husband and I to feel the same about every issue that arises. But...he respects my feelings and I respect his. We don't cast blame on each other. in my humble opinion that is the only way for a marriage to survive a difficult child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="everywoman, post: 127707, member: 1436"] Mikey---I think, that sadly, this is just the end of the beginning of your story. wife may never give up on McWeedy. She will be like many parents I have seen, and he will **** her dry until her death. He will use and abuse her love, and she will give in over and over. I know you will not take any action....you are as stuck as she is in this situation...but please take note---his choices are his, her choices are hers, and you can only own your own choices. That's all you are responsible for---- The truth is that most law enforcement agencies----withstanding the ones that 3D talks about in her posts----don't really do anything to "our" kids. Most of them get a slap on the wrist. Over and over again. Unless they do something really big.... difficult child has been arrested 5 times since he was 14. 1st arrest--- trespassing in a historical site---- juviniel diversion. 2nd arrest---bashing mailboxes----------------1 year probation 3rd arrest---stealing and pawning my jewelry....PTI 4th arrest---felony forgery---------------------1 year probabtion 5th arrest----minor in possession of alcohol------3 month suspension He has not learned anything from any form of punishment dealt out by law enforcement. He has violated probation numerous times and not had a single thing done to him. He even didn't show for a meeting and told his PO that he didn't because he would have a dirty test. She didn't vioalate him. difficult child moved out in January. It was the first time he voluntarily left out home. We had thrown him out 3 times before. This time there is no guilt about his leaving. He is going to school---it is not my problem whether he passes or not---I'm not paying for it. He is paying for his own living expenses---with some assistance from us if he "needs" it. He is still the same kid. He may never change. I had to change the way I viewed him or I would have lost him forever. I disliked him and his choices so much. I took them as an afront to everything I had taught him. I was much too involved in who he was. Detachment helps with that. I now can love him without liking his choices. I can see the good parts of him again. I can choose to let go of his flaws and let him own them. husband and I aren't always on the same page. But his relationship with difficult child is his....I have my relationship with difficult child. We are both his parents, but we are seperate people. Everyone brings with them into their relationships their own biases. I can't expect husband and I to feel the same about every issue that arises. But...he respects my feelings and I respect his. We don't cast blame on each other. in my humble opinion that is the only way for a marriage to survive a difficult child. [/QUOTE]
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