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Substance Abuse
Beginning of the end?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 128093" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Mike, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean you should let yourself be a punching bag. Let me explain: There is NOTHING you can do to stop your wife from enabling McW. I would stay out of her relationship with your son, even if you know (and you're right) that she's doing him more harm than good. You can't make her throw him out and you don't think you should leave so, at least be good to YOU, and do what YOU think is right, but realize she'll also do what SHE wants to do and there's no point in butting heads with her over it. You don't EVER have to take her verbal abuse. But you can't control her relationship with McW. I would spend more time with dancer and your other son. This one is lost for now. He may come around later, but he's not anywhere near that right now and your wife isn't helping him. The court may slap his hands this time, but (and I still believe strongly that he's using other drugs) when he REALLY breaks the law as an adult--like steals a car, or assaults somebody, or gets into an accident while intoxicated--nobody will throw softballs at him for those things. And wife won't be able to stop him from getting arrested. And it won't be from the drugs, whatever they are, it'll be from the consequences of using them. Find hobbies, do your own thing, this trainwreck is not of your making and you can't fix it with your wife's opposition. You'd have to leave, and you don't want to do that, and, even then, wife would do what she wants to do. So I wasn't criticizing you. I just think there's nothing you can do except make your life more miserable by trying to interfer with wife's decision to enable son. I'm sorry if I sounded judgmental.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 128093, member: 1550"] Mike, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean you should let yourself be a punching bag. Let me explain: There is NOTHING you can do to stop your wife from enabling McW. I would stay out of her relationship with your son, even if you know (and you're right) that she's doing him more harm than good. You can't make her throw him out and you don't think you should leave so, at least be good to YOU, and do what YOU think is right, but realize she'll also do what SHE wants to do and there's no point in butting heads with her over it. You don't EVER have to take her verbal abuse. But you can't control her relationship with McW. I would spend more time with dancer and your other son. This one is lost for now. He may come around later, but he's not anywhere near that right now and your wife isn't helping him. The court may slap his hands this time, but (and I still believe strongly that he's using other drugs) when he REALLY breaks the law as an adult--like steals a car, or assaults somebody, or gets into an accident while intoxicated--nobody will throw softballs at him for those things. And wife won't be able to stop him from getting arrested. And it won't be from the drugs, whatever they are, it'll be from the consequences of using them. Find hobbies, do your own thing, this trainwreck is not of your making and you can't fix it with your wife's opposition. You'd have to leave, and you don't want to do that, and, even then, wife would do what she wants to do. So I wasn't criticizing you. I just think there's nothing you can do except make your life more miserable by trying to interfer with wife's decision to enable son. I'm sorry if I sounded judgmental. [/QUOTE]
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