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Substance Abuse
Beginning of the end?
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<blockquote data-quote="Coookie" data-source="post: 129629" data-attributes="member: 1587"><p>Mikey,</p><p> </p><p>Sending gentle hugs and saying prayers for you all. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> As hard, and painful, as it may be I would encourage you to step back and let wife handle all concerning your difficult child. She thinks she can do it better so maybe letting her try will show her that you two need to be united?</p><p> </p><p>I certainly would let her know that after you have stepped back that any anger or hurt she may feel because of difficult children actions should be directed to him as you had no part in it. I know this will be extremely hard...been there done that... and as my dear husband has said to me, you will have to "Sit on your lips".</p><p> </p><p>I have been doing a lot of reading on Toxic relationships because of my difficult child and how destructive they can be and it seems to me that your wife is caught in the enabling phase and is therefore toxic both for you and your difficult child. It goes without saying that when our difficult children are at their worst it is a toxic relationship.</p><p> </p><p>I spent a lot of time trying to FIX my difficult child.... if only I did this or that... things would be better... NOT!!! Your wife needs to realize that your difficult child is the only one who can FIX what is going on with him... but I don't think you will be able to help her realize this.</p><p> </p><p>I'm sure others have suggested this but we have a wonderful link to a detachment article. I have the "Letting Go" part pasted on my fridge and read it every morning. </p><p> </p><p>This is not an easy road...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Coookie, post: 129629, member: 1587"] Mikey, Sending gentle hugs and saying prayers for you all. :( As hard, and painful, as it may be I would encourage you to step back and let wife handle all concerning your difficult child. She thinks she can do it better so maybe letting her try will show her that you two need to be united? I certainly would let her know that after you have stepped back that any anger or hurt she may feel because of difficult children actions should be directed to him as you had no part in it. I know this will be extremely hard...been there done that... and as my dear husband has said to me, you will have to "Sit on your lips". I have been doing a lot of reading on Toxic relationships because of my difficult child and how destructive they can be and it seems to me that your wife is caught in the enabling phase and is therefore toxic both for you and your difficult child. It goes without saying that when our difficult children are at their worst it is a toxic relationship. I spent a lot of time trying to FIX my difficult child.... if only I did this or that... things would be better... NOT!!! Your wife needs to realize that your difficult child is the only one who can FIX what is going on with him... but I don't think you will be able to help her realize this. I'm sure others have suggested this but we have a wonderful link to a detachment article. I have the "Letting Go" part pasted on my fridge and read it every morning. This is not an easy road... [/QUOTE]
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