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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 214997" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>My difficult child must be the odd ball when it comes to these charts. I had heard of and tried several of the methods listed here and am aware that they work great for many kids. But they didn't work for mine because he only registered the negative and it seemed to just reinforce bad behavior.</p><p></p><p>For whatever reason- age, no clear minuses on the chart, I don't know- this is what has worked for mine:</p><p></p><p>"We" made a list of the expectations for him weekly. These were simple things like doing homework nightly (except on Fri.), keeping his schedule (going to bed on time and getting up on time), good behavior in each class at school, chores at home, obeying house rules. Then, I assigned a VERY low amount of money to each one. The amount is very low for several reasons- 1) I'm paying restitution for him, 2) most of these things are expected from him, and I have a little problem paying for everything he is expected to do, and 3) because I didn't want him to feel like he earned much for only doing a couple of things, I wanted him to get the point that it takes doing what one is supposed to consistently in order for the benefit to add up enough to be worth much. </p><p></p><p>Breaking it down into very small "pieces" (such as $1 per class if he behaved in that class all week; $0.50 per day that he stayed on schedule, etc) seems more doable for my difficult child. Each day, I put a checkmark on his calendar for what he did to stay on track. There are no minuses. Then, it gets added up at the end of the week. If he did <strong>everything</strong> he is supposed to for the week, he would earn $19. If he did that well, which doesn't happen the majority of the time, I would give him the little bonus of $1 and give him a $20 bill. Actually, I don't physically give him the money, he just knows he has that much that he can spend at the store or save some or all of. I don't fuss at him at all if he earns $15 instead of $19.</p><p></p><p>Then, since difficult child seriously needs to work on problem solving, I added a bonus sytem where if he identifies a valid issue that is interfering with something and he brings it to the attention of an appropriate authority figure instead of acting impulsively, he gets a little bonus. If he proposes a solution and discusses a proposed solution with an authority figure, he gets a little more of a bonus, whether or not his proposed solution is accepted.</p><p></p><p>Until difficult child "shut down" emotionally a few weeks ago, this method worked very well for him for over a year. It obviously won't work for all kids, but it might be worth discussing with your difficult child things he really wants and getting him involved in the establishment of the "chart". </p><p></p><p>My son wanted an allowance given consistently. I told him he would have to do his part in order to get that, thus, we came up with this plan. I also told my son that if he wanted an allowance given like adults earn salaries, instead of having to earn it piece by piece like adults working by the hour, then he had to show that he was responsible enough to take initiative to do what he's supposed to consistently and without being told to. So, that is the goal.</p><p></p><p>Sorry this got long- it might not help you at all, I just thought I'd throw it out there! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 214997, member: 3699"] My difficult child must be the odd ball when it comes to these charts. I had heard of and tried several of the methods listed here and am aware that they work great for many kids. But they didn't work for mine because he only registered the negative and it seemed to just reinforce bad behavior. For whatever reason- age, no clear minuses on the chart, I don't know- this is what has worked for mine: "We" made a list of the expectations for him weekly. These were simple things like doing homework nightly (except on Fri.), keeping his schedule (going to bed on time and getting up on time), good behavior in each class at school, chores at home, obeying house rules. Then, I assigned a VERY low amount of money to each one. The amount is very low for several reasons- 1) I'm paying restitution for him, 2) most of these things are expected from him, and I have a little problem paying for everything he is expected to do, and 3) because I didn't want him to feel like he earned much for only doing a couple of things, I wanted him to get the point that it takes doing what one is supposed to consistently in order for the benefit to add up enough to be worth much. Breaking it down into very small "pieces" (such as $1 per class if he behaved in that class all week; $0.50 per day that he stayed on schedule, etc) seems more doable for my difficult child. Each day, I put a checkmark on his calendar for what he did to stay on track. There are no minuses. Then, it gets added up at the end of the week. If he did [B]everything[/B] he is supposed to for the week, he would earn $19. If he did that well, which doesn't happen the majority of the time, I would give him the little bonus of $1 and give him a $20 bill. Actually, I don't physically give him the money, he just knows he has that much that he can spend at the store or save some or all of. I don't fuss at him at all if he earns $15 instead of $19. Then, since difficult child seriously needs to work on problem solving, I added a bonus sytem where if he identifies a valid issue that is interfering with something and he brings it to the attention of an appropriate authority figure instead of acting impulsively, he gets a little bonus. If he proposes a solution and discusses a proposed solution with an authority figure, he gets a little more of a bonus, whether or not his proposed solution is accepted. Until difficult child "shut down" emotionally a few weeks ago, this method worked very well for him for over a year. It obviously won't work for all kids, but it might be worth discussing with your difficult child things he really wants and getting him involved in the establishment of the "chart". My son wanted an allowance given consistently. I told him he would have to do his part in order to get that, thus, we came up with this plan. I also told my son that if he wanted an allowance given like adults earn salaries, instead of having to earn it piece by piece like adults working by the hour, then he had to show that he was responsible enough to take initiative to do what he's supposed to consistently and without being told to. So, that is the goal. Sorry this got long- it might not help you at all, I just thought I'd throw it out there! :) [/QUOTE]
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