Behaviors

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by whatamess, Jul 19, 2009.

  1. whatamess

    whatamess New Member

    My difficult child is 11. He is diagnosed with autism, adhd and anxiety. He seems very ODD as well. Since he was three we have been implementing reward/punishment plans beginning with ABA therapy. It has never worked for him or if it does-only temporarily. We were basically convinced that the more 'consistent' we were with the reward/punishments the more our child would be helped. The more he resisted, the reward/punishments increased. Totally backfired in therapy, in school, in home. And yet we persisted. We took him out of ABA at age 5 when the punishments kept coming and his behavior worsened. We took him out of school at age 8 when he spent increasing amounts of time restrained or in seclusion. At home we still maintained reward systems and continued to use punishments like time out, loss of privelege, items taken away, etc, etc.

    This last fall I read Alfie Kohn's book 'Punished by Rewards' and knew this was similar to my belief system (my gut instinct was overridden by professionals opinions of how to deal with my child all these years). We banished reward charts, allowance for chores and other extrinsic incentives. When we tried having difficult child re-enter school this spring 1/2 the staff were flabbergasted when I insisted he not be given rewards based on performance, nor punishments for behaviors I consider a part of his diagnosis. They continually said 'but how will we motivate him'. I told them all the things he enjoys, but it is very difficult to build a relationship and have motivation stem from trying to please others, than to just offer a piece of candy or computer time for the tasks they wanted him to complete, but held no interest for him. The teacher was very behavior mod. oriented and in 4 short weeks the same disasterous results from previous years emerged.

    Anyway, it has been a difficult year retraining ourselves to not immediately revert back to reward/punishment tactics, especially since he can be so defiant and self-centered. We have also stepped back (after reading The Explosive Child) and realized for the first time that a lot of my difficult child's behaviors are not totally ODD, but really born out of his various diagnoses.

    I would like your opinion on some of difficult child's behaviors and tell me if you think they are related to his diagnoses, if he should have consequences, if we should alter his environment somehow, and/or ignore the behaviors:

    wasting soap and shampoo by mixing them and squishing his toys in the soap when he plays in the tub

    using rolls and rolls of toilet paper to fill the toilet bowl or bring to his room to shred

    when difficult child's little brother wants to watch preschool shows, difficult child freaks out and rants and raves for sometimes hours

    when difficult child's little brother wants to watch difficult child play video games, difficult child freaks out and yells at him to 'get out'

    interrupts adult conversations with incessant noise-making

    pokes people

    yells in people's ears

    wakes up sibs in an annoying way (jumping on top of them, using loud noises to wake them)

    steals sibs phone, ipod, other toys

    refuses initially to do any job/chore suggested, sometimes will tantrum for extended periods to avoid even the simplest of tasks

    bothers our pets (blows on the fur of the cat/hamster to see it move, rattles hamster cage or taps on glass to see the sudden movement the hamster makes, is rough with the cat to make it stay with him)

    will flip a game board if he loses

    can't stop eating

    rants about any number of things for extended periods, truly can't be ignored because he will YELL about it
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I have a son on the autism spectrum. By the way anxiety disorder, ODD, and ADHD don't need to be part of his diagnosis. That's all part of autism. It's like getting a diagnosis of a cold, sniffles, sore throat, runny eyes, tired. All you really need to say to explain it all is, "I have a bad cold!" All Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids tend to be self-centered, but it doesn't mean they don't care about people. They simply are not "other" oriented. It's part and parcel of the disorder.

    I think all of the behaviors are tied into autism. Now what are you going to do about it? My strong suggestion is to call your closest Autism Society, even if it's not close, and find out the best autism (specific autism) therapist who is the closest to you, even if it's not that close--and use this person. I'm not talking about ABA therapy, which he needs for speech. I mean an actual autism therapist who can tell you how to deal with his autistic behaviors. As you have found, Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids do NOT respond to conventional behavioral therapy so a conventional therapist who (most of them) has little knowledge of how to help an autistic child AND HIS FAMILY will not be helpful to you. I also don't feel medications will do much for an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) child. In fact, my son was worse on stimulants for ADHD and he was awful on the anti-psychotics, such as RIsperal, although they do help some autistic kids.

    You need to connect with professionals outside of school (educators tend to be clueless, even in autism specific classes) about Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). Find somebody who does nothing but work with children on the spectrum. We did and it was a whole different experience for our family and our son. You can pretty much count on big improvements in your son WITH THE RIGHT SORT OF HELP. Autistic kids can really improve--some can live independent lives. But too many mental health professionals try to make autism a mental health issue and it's not--so their methods don't do squat.

    You may need to travel for appointments. I had to do an hour up and back and in winter it's not fun (especially in Wisconsin). But the benefits were great.

    Welcome back. It may be a slow weekend because there is a get together going on in Cleveland. Be patient. They will be back and you'll get more feedback. If you have any other questions post them and I"ll try to give good feedback. I didn't get to go to the get together. :faint:
     
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Yes, definitely Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). He doesn't "get it." He doesn't get that other people or animals have feelings and different experiences.
    Having said that, there ARE things you can do.

    Ready? ;)

    1) wasting soap and shampoo by mixing them and squishing his toys in the soap when he plays in the tub

    This is normal but of course with- a difficult child, it is exaggerated. The way you typed it, it sounds like fun! I would love to do that.
    Buy a half doz small empty containers at the dollar store, and divide the liquid soap and shampoo into them. He will have a fit because they are not what he is used to, but when you point out that it's either that or no soap at all, he'll get the point. Do not show him where you hide the other containers.

    2) using rolls and rolls of toilet paper to fill the toilet bowl or bring to his room to shred

    Shredding is a great anxiety reducer. Again, you may want to divide and separate the "good" paper from the "other" paper, like the soap, and hide the expensive stuff in your bathroom, and buy dollar store stuff for him to shred.
    Keep a pr of rubber gloves and a bucket next to the toilet to empty it out every day. Make it a regular chore for the two of you, just like vacuuming or cleaning the litter box. Make it fun and expect a mess. He will think you are nuts and probably won't want to participate. The next time he fills the toilet with-paper, be sure to point out that he's got to put on the rubber gloves to clean it up. Give your voice an upbeat, calm lilt, like it's no big deal. This, too, shall pass.
    Give him old phone books to shred in his room. Put one in the car (my son loved to kick and scream in the car and we always had shredded paper all over the back seat).

    4) when difficult child's little brother wants to watch preschool shows, difficult child freaks out and rants and raves for sometimes hours

    Typical Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). Let him rave in his room, alone.
    When he is calm (do not attempt to communicate or reason with-him when he is raging) explain that you will set a timer and ea kid will get their own time to watch shows. When he says it isn't fair, agree with-him. Tell him that life isn't fair. Because it isn't.

    5) when difficult child's little brother wants to watch difficult child play video games, difficult child freaks out and yells at him to 'get out'

    Maybe the video game is too loud, too fast, or too colorful for difficult child. Or maybe he's just jealous. Can the kids be separated? Where is the brother sitting that he needs to "get out"? If they're sharing a room, there's going to be a problem. Kids with-PDDs don't understand that other people have needs and feelings. All you can do is tell him that there is a rule and stick to it. Consistency, consistency, consistency.

    6) interrupts adult conversations with incessant noise-making

    More Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). He doesn't "get it." I've finally (almost) seen an end to this, and my son is 12. He now writes me notes, which is, technically, still interrupting, but less noisy. :) Asperger kids are very "in the moment" and want it NOW.

    7) pokes people

    You sure my son isn't living with-you?

    8) yells in people's ears

    Ditto # 7, plus, yes, this is Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD).

    #9 wakes up sibs in an annoying way (jumping on top of them, using loud noises to wake them)

    OMG, now I KNOW my son is living in your house! I am so sorry. I will come over right now and get him.
    Just this a.m. I was awakened by having a cat thrown in my face--claws first--and a 70# collie coaxed onto the bed and another cat thrown on top of the collie and a smelly Darth Vader blanket thrown on top of all that. And this is when he's in a GOOD mood!

    #10 steals sibs phone, ipod, other toys

    He doesn't get it. It's going to be awhile on this one. Put locks on everyone's doors.
    Role play with-give and take, and borrowing.

    11) refuses initially to do any job/chore suggested, sometimes will tantrum for extended periods to avoid even the simplest of tasks

    Sheesh. My son again. Sigh. This is where you may need Effexor for yourself, or a glass of wine. Just keep on him. Be persistent. One thing that worked with-my son was
    to threaten to take things out of his rm or to take away a privilege if he didn't do what he was supposed to do. I know Alfie Kohn would not agree, saying it is punitive, but hey, it works. He will freak. Do not lower yourself to his level. Do not yell. Just expect him to yell. Pretend he is a TV set that is too loud and you can't turn it off and you just have to live through it. This, too, shall pass.
    When he's done his chores, make sure you reward him.
    Make sure the reward is given for EXACTLY what you promised him, for EXACTLY what he has done. I'd often try to add on to chores, i.e., "Since you've got the vacuum out, why don't you do that patch over there, too?" That works for a regular person, but not for a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)/Aspie. It wasn't part of the initial bargain. No go.
    Memorize what you've promised him and write it down if need be or he'll tell you you're lying.

    11) bothers our pets (blows on the fur of the cat/hamster to see it move, rattles hamster cage or taps on glass to see the sudden movement the hamster makes, is rough with the cat to make it stay with him)

    This is a "boy" thing, exaggerated by Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). He can't see that he's driving anyone else crazy. It's also immaturity. He will learn. In the meantime, make a rule and if he can't stick to it, the animal goes into "Time Out" in a safe kennel. The animal will appreciate it. Really.

    12) will flip a game board if he loses

    Aw, heck, everybody does THAT! It's no fun if McEnroe actually WINS a tennis game, ROFL!
    Your difficult child will learn. I'd suggest that you play a short board game that you can repeat say, 3X in an hr. Tell him that he will win the first two times, lose the third time, and win the fourth time. Then make sure you rig it so that it happens. Also, make sure he wins the last one. I've done this with-a lot of success. Eventually, around age 11, my son was able to lose with-just a sigh. (Yes, I am sick to death of board games.)

    13) can't stop eating

    Sounds a bit Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) to me. Make sure you have only good food in the house. No chips, etc. If your son is on Adderall or something for ADHD, that will help calm him down so he isn't always reaching for things. It will also decrease his appetite. Just a thought.
    Does your son hoard things? Mine does. It's better now, but we still find wrappers in his room, and there's no need for it, since there's tons of food downstairs.
    Have his thyroid checked, too.

    13) rants about any number of things for extended periods, truly can't be ignored because he will YELL about it

    My son's fave time to do this was midnight, so he would wake up the entire household. Make sure he's in his room when he does it. Or pick a "Ranting Place" where he goes to specifically rage. Read THE MANIPULATIVE CHILD. Chances are, you are letting him get away with-too much yelling because you can't stand it any more. It's an avoidance thing on your part. You're going to have to set up scenarious KNOWING he will yell, CAUSING him to yell, so that you can manipulate the behavior.
    One thing our child psychologist suggested was to have a specific raging time each day. (I think it was directly after dinner; I'm still trying to forget.) We sat difficult child down with-whatever item he raged about most recently, set a timer, and told him, "Okay, start screaming NOW." He looked at us like we were nuts. (It was great fun.) When he'd rage later, we'd take him back to the same chair and tell him that's where he could rage and he missed his time limit, but if he were really lucky, we'd let him do it again.

    Whew! I'm exhausted, just remembering all this stuff. I can't believe so many parents on this bb have survived it all.
     
  4. whatamess

    whatamess New Member

    Terry you made me seriously laugh out loud! OMG, now I KNOW my son is living in your house! I am so sorry. I will come over right now and get him.
    Just this a.m. I was awakened by having a cat thrown in my face--claws first--and a 70# collie coaxed onto the bed and another cat thrown on top of the collie and a smelly Darth Vader blanket thrown on top of all that. And this is when he's in a GOOD mood!
    Maybe I need to get out more, but the kids on the spectrum that I've come across seem so much more 'mature', they are out in the regular classroom and don't exhibit all the in-your-face annoying behaviors that my son does. My family is constantly berating me for 'letting him get away with his behaviors', it does no good to tell them that we have tried traditional methods, but it doesn't work. Everyone wants him 'fixed' and these behaviors to go away because they make them nervous and annoyed.

    Do you make your kids apologize? When difficult child does something really by accident he almost always apologizes on his own. When he does 'naughty' things on purpose (like when he's stressed and his ability to problem solve is nil) his apology will be very insincere if forced. So, do I not have him apologize unless he wants to?

    We've been told since difficult child was 3 that autism can be remediated (through ABA, RDI, etc) and it isn't working. The goals have always been independence. Is there a time where you accept a child will need close supervision always? Every summer we refill our sandbox and the same scene repeats its self. difficult child goes into the sandbox, we remind him not to throw sand, he throws sand, he is removed from sandbox, and tantrums. He's 11, we've been doing this for 9 summers now. Is he never going to have that self-control or is there hope that it can still develop? He is very verbal, understands the rules, just cannot follow through.
     
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry things are so rough. I know it has been a long haul to get to this point, but he is still just 11. I swear that my boys got more mature until about age 9 and then they went backward in maturity until about age 14. It was really not fun. In time he may well meet those independence goals. But getting to that point probably won't be as much fun as you thought parenting would be before you had kids.

    Terry gave awesome advice. I suggest going to www.loveandlogic.com and reading/listening to the info there. Even the stuff designed for teachers, go through it all. After you have some idea what it is about, check out the various books and see if the regular parenting with L&L or the special needs parenting, or another books fits your needs. I think hubbys respond well to this, maybe because it stresses logic? One of the things I like most about it is that it tells you to not give an immediate consequence. It is OK to let the child wonder what the punishment will be until you have decided how you want to handle it. Traditional parenting (and dog training, for that matter) tells you that you have to punish immediately or the child will not know what the punishment is for. I always thought this was nonsense. Now I know it is - and my kids say that the waiting time is so nerve-wracking that it often is a deterrent - even more than the consequence given is. (I told you that our moms had the right idea with the "wait until your father gets home" routine!)

    As for family who berates you because of your parenting? Refuse to discuss it with them. If they come at you because your child is hurting someone or damaging property, then you need to make difficult child stop, of course. But if it is for other stuff, either leave or hang up the phone or just tell them that this is not a topic that is open for discussion. Let them know that if it happens again you will not spend time with them for a while until they learn more about what you are working to accomplish. Family should either jump on the bandwagon and help or get out of the way. If they are not supporting you it is really OK to limit contact with them to infrequent short periods of time.

    Always trust your instincts. Always. You have them for a reason. You spend more time with your kids than anyone else does (you and hubby). You, personally, carried difficult child under your heart for months before anyone else even knew him (If he was adopted you carried him IN your heart for those long months before you were able to bring him home.).

    The experts have spent very limited amounts of time with him. Would you take your Ferrari to the mechanic who works solely on Ferraris? Or to the Ford dealership where the mechanic hasn't even SEEN a Ferrari? Isn't difficult child far more precious than any car ever built? It is important to have him taken in for medical/mental health care, but you have to remember that YOU are the expert in your child. The "experts" are expert in fields of study.

    Would it be possible to add info to your sig about the gender of each child and what, if any, medications difficult child is taking? It helps us keep everything straight in our overloaded brains, Know what I mean?? Thanks.

    Hugs to the whole family.
     
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I recommend social skills classes for an 11 year old who still throws sand. He is doing the sensory thing, but not all Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids do this at this age. They are all different. Social skills classes and therapy directed at autistic kids has my sixteen year old so functional that he's going to take driver's ed next year (he'll be seventeen and yes I"m scared!). Autistic kids may not understand the real idea behind an apology by the way. Depends on where they are on the spectrum. My son does understand. Some sixteen year olds with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) still don't understand that if you talk too much and in someone's face, they will possibly shun you.
    In spite of my son being high functioning, due to some quirks, he's still probably going to need some help. For example, he doesn't understand why he has to smell good. He would never shower if we didn't force the issue. Amazingly, his friends and peers never bring it up and he can be ripe at times.
    Our kids lag behind other kids in the developmental department, but we can help things along by introducing them to things like social skills classes, which almost all of them could benefit from.
     
  7. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I've not a difficult child on the spectrum, so I can't speak directly. I would agree that many of your son's behaviors are typical for a child of that age with a level of severity that shows he is a difficult child.

    It's great to see that you are getting some great words of wisdom from our moms that "have been there"!

    Sharon
     
  8. whatamess

    whatamess New Member

    Oddly enough he's been in and out of social skills classes since age 3. Often he becomes so anxious/manic with more than 1 or 2 kids that he can't participate or he doesn't want to participate because it's 'boring'. He hates the patronizing tone of social stories and will rip the book or say 'blah blah blah'. He knows all the 'rules' of social interaction if you ask him, he just can't follow through in action.
     
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    :D I can certainly relate. He's reciting them but he can't do them.

    My son knows them, can do them, and often does them, but when he thinks a social norm or rule is stupid he has no qualms about disregarding it. These kid's brains are truly wired differently!
     
  10. whatamess

    whatamess New Member

    You can say that again! lol!
     
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Yes, I make my son apologize, no matter what. In fact, at dinner tonight, he said something in a snotty tone, and I made him apologize. He shouted his apology (he has issues with-voice volume and tonal control) and I told him to say it again in a nice voice. It took him 3X.
    I'm a Mean Mom. (There's someone in our neighborhood with-Mean Mom on her license plate. I am so jealous!)

    I just want to reiterate that no matter how much our kids have in common, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) is a spectrum and no two kids are exactly alike. For example, if your son is anxious in social classes, then they are not working.
    My son HATES social stories.
    I use TV sitcoms as our social stories. The actions and words of the actors are so outrageous, they invite comment. They BEG comment.
    I also love, love, love THE BIG BANG THEORY. The guys are such nerds, that difficult child can tell immediately that what they are doing is incorrect behavior. It is hysterical and has become a family night event.
    Also, we just rented BEST IN SHOW, about a dog show. The characters are exaggerated, neurotic and just plain bizarre. (It's one of those movies that's probably better if you've had a bit of wine.) It had too many sexual innuendos for my taste (which I wasn't aware b4 we let difficult child watch it) but still, once again, it's a great way to show difficult child inappropriate behavior in a funny way.
    Often, I hear him say, "I would NEVER do that in public!"
    Yaaay, difficult child! (Now, if I could only get him to never do certain things at home ...)

    Right now, difficult child has taken on a quirky habit of stripping down to his boxers the instant he walks in the door, and wrapping himself in a huge, black comforter. I call it his Darth Vader comforter. It's covered with-glow-in-the dark planets. Anyway, he wears it over his shoulders and drags it everywhere, incl. the kitchen table, during dinner. He knocks over glasses, drags the thing through ketchup and mustard, and tries to hide the cats in it. If he were in a movie, I might think it's funny, but right now I just want to scream.
    He's supposed to wear a shirt when he comes to the table, but I made an exception tonight. I don't know why. So much for consistency. I'm only human. (Darn, and I was thinking I was Super Woman. ;) )

    Anyway, I mentioned that to point out that once you resolve one issue, another one will pop up. It's like trying to catch mice under a big rug. Or like a game of Whack-a-Mole. There's just no keeping up with it.
     
  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I used to role play with Wiz. Esp when he couldn't figure out why I would get so frustrated when he did certain things. We only lasted through a morning of "Opposite Day". I was acting like him and he was to act like me. I woke him up by bounding into his room asking questions rapid fire and loud. I chewed with my mouth open (making all the slurpy smacking noises I could), knocked over a drink, kept pulling on his clothing, interrupted him non-stop, pestered him to let me watch a movie, to play a game with me, to take me shopping, to buy me a toy, etc...

    He had to fix breakfast (cereal and milk), answer my questions, and deal with the stuff that I was doing. He even had to deal with the drink I spilled (I made sure it was water because I didn't want to have to let it sit their and be yucky).

    About an hour before lunchtime he BEGGED me to stop. But it sort of helped him see how his actions were annoying and a PITA to other people.

    Does it work to grab "teachable moments" with him? When a person you see does something good or bad, polite or rude, what happens if you point it out to him? This "guerilla social skills training" was quite helpful with Wiz and even with the other kids.

    We were at one school picking Wiz up when a parent we knew came in and started yelling and screaming because her kid got drizzled on a little bit when a sudden storm came up. It was bad enough that another parent went into the office and called 911. I used that to let the kids see some of the possible consequences of having a temper tantrum when you are an adult. I have only had 2 temper tantrums in public from all 3 of them combined.

    maybe you can use things like that to help difficult child understand some of the social skills?
     
  13. whatamess

    whatamess New Member

    Here's an example of working on sociability...
    difficult child: burps extremely loud
    Me: what do you say
    difficult child: excuse me
    Me: you should say 'excuse me' as loud as you burp, so people can actually hear the polite part
    difficult child: excuse me
    difficult child: then goes on to burp 'ex.cu.se me' and laughs heartily at himself
    Me: [walks away]
     
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    :D:tongue: Ah, the fun of it!

    I truly believe spectrum kids develop late and get better at social skills as they get older. I can't promise for sure, but that's what happened with my son. He pretty much won't do "embarassing" things in public anymore. His type of social skills deficits are more subtle. For example, we took him to a friend's house for July 4th. He knows them well and is ok with people he knows. But we were all surprised that the group invited went beyond us and was actually a small crowd, with a lot of older teens that L. doesn't know. He didn't act out or fuss, but he sat in the back of the yard (we were outside) and in the grass. He had his PS2 handheld thingy (whatever it's called) with him, which we allowed because we know how nervous he gets in crowds. I don't think he looked up the entire time we were there and he only spoke when spoken to. In odd social situations, he is very awkward. With people he knows and is comfortable with, he participates almost normally. What if we hadn't let him bring his PS--whatever-it is? in my opinion it would have been cruel. He would have been more uncomfortable and shut down, and I know 100% that it wouldn't have encouraged him to socialize. He needs to do it on his own terms, at his own pace. His goal in life is to not get married (girls are too much trouble) :D and live with a big dog. He DOES have friends who are girls and went to prom (he very unhappily went to prom :D, but his best friend asked him and he has too good a heart to tell her no).

    L. knows what you are supposed to do in social situations. I think he believes a lot of social norms are "stupid" but he goes through the motions and does the best he can. But he will never be a social butterfly, and hanging at the mall with friends will never be a fun thing for him. He needs his down time and alone time.

    Why did I post this all? I'm not sure!!!! I guess I just wanted to vent and to tell you I understand and that your son, being only 11, will probably grow by leaps in bounds in the next five years. Having said that, he may not be a "typical" kid, but Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids tend to have huge hearts. Go with your instincts and watch him grow.
     
  15. Mandy

    Mandy Parent In Training

    WOW! I read this and started laughing because I totally get this:D

    I do make Little Bear apologize even though it might take a little work on my part. My hope in doing this is one day he might actually do this on his own!

    Here are a few behaviors you listed that my difficult child does and some of our "solutions". I am not sure if it's part of his diagnosis or not because my difficult child does many of the same things as you will see!!

    wasting soap and shampoo by mixing them and squishing his toys in the soap when he plays in the tub

    We definitly have this problem so I bought my son some bar kids soap and as soon as we are done washing the important parts with the good soap it gets put in another room out of reach! (he has gone looking) (0=

    when difficult child's little brother wants to watch preschool shows, difficult child freaks out and rants and raves for sometimes hours

    We do a lot of trading off for TV time. Sometimes I let my easy child come watch TV with- me and difficult child watches in another room. Other times we do the "switch" every half hour so everyone gets to watch what they want. If difficult child doesn't comply then he goes in his room to cool off with- no tv.

    interrupts adult conversations with incessant noise-making

    I haven't figured this out yet. difficult child will go into a little rage if I don't acknowledge he is talking. I just keep going over and over not to interrupt, maybe someday he will get it!

    pokes people
    yells in people's ears
    wakes up sibs in an annoying way (jumping on top of them, using loud noises to wake them)


    I put this all in the same group because all of these behaviors are meant to be "diliberatly annoying" to others. I actually try to "ignore" most of these and instruct easy child to do the same or my difficult child will continue to do them.

    refuses initially to do any job/chore suggested, sometimes will tantrum for extended periods to avoid even the simplest of tasks

    We have found if we set tiny tasks for difficult child and then praise him after he does better. Like my husband will have him clean a small part of his room then later on we will ask him to clean another small part etc. etc.

    bothers our pets (blows on the fur of the cat/hamster to see it move, rattles hamster cage or taps on glass to see the sudden movement the hamster makes, is rough with the cat to make it stay with him)

    We had a cat... found a new home for it!;)

    can't stop eating

    My difficult child does this but I think it's his medications. I have small snacks he can get on his own that are healthy options. Carrots, raisens, etc.
     
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