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Family of Origin
Being who we are, even if FOO is different and doesn't like it
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 672163" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I am really on a roll with this codeine. I posted on Sherrill's thread something like this: Nothing you do or do not do will make a difference with your son. What you do or do not do is for you, not for a specific result in him or for him. Do whatever you do, with that in mind.</p><p></p><p>I believe myself.</p><p>Cedar. I want you to think about what exactly you have in mind "alright" would be. To spell it out. What is happening in an "alright" scenario?</p><p></p><p>Until you really operationalize "alright" and are able to look at it, "alright" does not mean anything. It is just shifting sand, a mirage.</p><p>I think I must have hurt my back working yesterday. But I blame the new room and my mother's bed. I just know that if I was able to sleep in my old room, in my own bed--all of which do not exist anymore--I would have been alright in the morning. And I would have slept soundly. Our old bed was a full. This new bed is a California King. I feel as if I am sleeping on the Sahara Desert. My old be, I felt like I was sleeping in a crib. With my sleepers on.</p><p></p><p>I hate this new bed. While pretty, I miss my old room. My old room is now M's Den.</p><p></p><p>But at least I am in the living room, which is really a Great Room, so I am in the center of my house. So maybe I will begin to feel comfortable in my house, now that I am unable to be in my room and in my bed. Which would be a good thing.</p><p></p><p>M is at the other house. With a crew to put in some cement and repair other cement. I am grateful to him. </p><p></p><p>M called his sister to tell her not to come. </p><p></p><p>Nobody commented on her remarks to me (I posted about) about treating M better by not saying, I want this room now. Or I do not like the chair where he wants it.</p><p></p><p>I told M. He said: Both of you are fools. Or something like that. And let it go.</p><p></p><p>Which was the right thing to say, because within relationships we all have the right to err and be foolish. We just do not have the right to hurt each other. And each of us is responsible (like D H models for us) to not allow ourselves to be hurt....</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 672163, member: 18958"] I am really on a roll with this codeine. I posted on Sherrill's thread something like this: Nothing you do or do not do will make a difference with your son. What you do or do not do is for you, not for a specific result in him or for him. Do whatever you do, with that in mind. I believe myself. Cedar. I want you to think about what exactly you have in mind "alright" would be. To spell it out. What is happening in an "alright" scenario? Until you really operationalize "alright" and are able to look at it, "alright" does not mean anything. It is just shifting sand, a mirage. I think I must have hurt my back working yesterday. But I blame the new room and my mother's bed. I just know that if I was able to sleep in my old room, in my own bed--all of which do not exist anymore--I would have been alright in the morning. And I would have slept soundly. Our old bed was a full. This new bed is a California King. I feel as if I am sleeping on the Sahara Desert. My old be, I felt like I was sleeping in a crib. With my sleepers on. I hate this new bed. While pretty, I miss my old room. My old room is now M's Den. But at least I am in the living room, which is really a Great Room, so I am in the center of my house. So maybe I will begin to feel comfortable in my house, now that I am unable to be in my room and in my bed. Which would be a good thing. M is at the other house. With a crew to put in some cement and repair other cement. I am grateful to him. M called his sister to tell her not to come. Nobody commented on her remarks to me (I posted about) about treating M better by not saying, I want this room now. Or I do not like the chair where he wants it. I told M. He said: Both of you are fools. Or something like that. And let it go. Which was the right thing to say, because within relationships we all have the right to err and be foolish. We just do not have the right to hurt each other. And each of us is responsible (like D H models for us) to not allow ourselves to be hurt.... COPA [/QUOTE]
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