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Family of Origin
Being who we are, even if FOO is different and doesn't like it
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 672203" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Cedar, why is it that you hold yourself responsible for your son's ill-treatment of you? Is there some calculus in your head that if you allow him to do so, <em>especially in your own head </em>that something will change, for him? </p><p></p><p>Like a pound of flesh. If you allow him to beat on you...in your mind...he will tire of this fit he seems to be throwing?</p><p></p><p>Cedar, there are millions and millions of siblings that are overshadowed for a time by the needs of an ill or distressed sibling. They go to therapy and they work it out. Or do so in another way. They do not verbally beat up their mother. I am speaking here about my own son, too. He cannot scapegoat me for his problems or his birth or illness or any other thing. It is wrong. I will no longer accept it.</p><p></p><p>There are millions and millions of adult children, who go down wrong paths...and correct course. Let your son take responsibility. His choices are not your fault. Let my own son take responsibility. It is not my fault.</p><p></p><p>Nobody should turn ugly towards us. If they do, they are accountable. The hard part is deciding what to do or not.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 672203, member: 18958"] Cedar, why is it that you hold yourself responsible for your son's ill-treatment of you? Is there some calculus in your head that if you allow him to do so, [I]especially in your own head [/I]that something will change, for him? Like a pound of flesh. If you allow him to beat on you...in your mind...he will tire of this fit he seems to be throwing? Cedar, there are millions and millions of siblings that are overshadowed for a time by the needs of an ill or distressed sibling. They go to therapy and they work it out. Or do so in another way. They do not verbally beat up their mother. I am speaking here about my own son, too. He cannot scapegoat me for his problems or his birth or illness or any other thing. It is wrong. I will no longer accept it. There are millions and millions of adult children, who go down wrong paths...and correct course. Let your son take responsibility. His choices are not your fault. Let my own son take responsibility. It is not my fault. Nobody should turn ugly towards us. If they do, they are accountable. The hard part is deciding what to do or not. COPA [/QUOTE]
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Being who we are, even if FOO is different and doesn't like it
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