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Believing in them
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 576625" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>TL, I am so glad that your son has committed to 3 months at a sober house. That is huge! I also understand that you need to protect your heart. I found myself still trying to give advice or commenting on my difficult child's negative behaviors when he was (sort of) doing ok. I kept catching myself because I knew it was not the best way to handle things. But it was what I worried about and what I felt so it was hard not to put a voice to it. I can't remember if you are seeing a therapist or not but I think that is a very safe place to voice your concerns and fears and work on them. Just taking one little step foward is so difficult for our difficult child's that we do need to be mindful when we speak to them lest something we say causes them to get overwhelmed. It is so hard.</p><p></p><p>Like ehausted said, I think being negative can attract negative. I also have come to the conclusion that I cannot know with total certainity what is best for my difficult child. So, when I pray I just ask for that which will bring him his highest good without naming any specifics. The road we travel as parents is one filled with many pitfalls and obsticles. It is not easily navigated. We do falter and often fall but we never loose sight of what it is we want for our difficult child's. That being a good life. Keep your focus on that and give your worries and fears to your higher power to deal with. It really is about all we can do. -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 576625, member: 2315"] TL, I am so glad that your son has committed to 3 months at a sober house. That is huge! I also understand that you need to protect your heart. I found myself still trying to give advice or commenting on my difficult child's negative behaviors when he was (sort of) doing ok. I kept catching myself because I knew it was not the best way to handle things. But it was what I worried about and what I felt so it was hard not to put a voice to it. I can't remember if you are seeing a therapist or not but I think that is a very safe place to voice your concerns and fears and work on them. Just taking one little step foward is so difficult for our difficult child's that we do need to be mindful when we speak to them lest something we say causes them to get overwhelmed. It is so hard. Like ehausted said, I think being negative can attract negative. I also have come to the conclusion that I cannot know with total certainity what is best for my difficult child. So, when I pray I just ask for that which will bring him his highest good without naming any specifics. The road we travel as parents is one filled with many pitfalls and obsticles. It is not easily navigated. We do falter and often fall but we never loose sight of what it is we want for our difficult child's. That being a good life. Keep your focus on that and give your worries and fears to your higher power to deal with. It really is about all we can do. -RM [/QUOTE]
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