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Substance Abuse
Believing in them
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 576813" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Hi TL, </p><p>Your friend sure sounds like he knows his program! What a valuable resource you have. </p><p></p><p>In my days of AA/Al Anon they told me the same thing...to be careful what I project. </p><p>I try to see myself on the "sidelines" cheering difficult child on and reminding him to "shake it off" when he fails...and get back up again. Sometimes it's very very difficult to "steer" them in the right direction...but ya, I do think we send unconscious messeges out into the universe and into our difficult children. ...Do we honestly "believe in them" or do we honestly see them as broken failures? </p><p></p><p>And it is how we talk to them too...saying things like "here we go again" says I "didn't think you could to begin with" ya know. However, saying things like..."It'll get better it always does" or "You can do this...You've got what it takes"..."You're a survivor" etc...I think these things DO make a difference. </p><p>And in your difficult child's case he has certainly proven to be both resourceful and a survivor!</p><p></p><p>I sure understand wanting to protect your heart too though. But you know there are no guarantees...but that's with everything. We just keep trying to focus on the goal and never give up...never give up on our hopes and dreams and never give up on our difficult child's. </p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 576813, member: 3305"] Hi TL, Your friend sure sounds like he knows his program! What a valuable resource you have. In my days of AA/Al Anon they told me the same thing...to be careful what I project. I try to see myself on the "sidelines" cheering difficult child on and reminding him to "shake it off" when he fails...and get back up again. Sometimes it's very very difficult to "steer" them in the right direction...but ya, I do think we send unconscious messeges out into the universe and into our difficult children. ...Do we honestly "believe in them" or do we honestly see them as broken failures? And it is how we talk to them too...saying things like "here we go again" says I "didn't think you could to begin with" ya know. However, saying things like..."It'll get better it always does" or "You can do this...You've got what it takes"..."You're a survivor" etc...I think these things DO make a difference. And in your difficult child's case he has certainly proven to be both resourceful and a survivor! I sure understand wanting to protect your heart too though. But you know there are no guarantees...but that's with everything. We just keep trying to focus on the goal and never give up...never give up on our hopes and dreams and never give up on our difficult child's. Hugs, LMS [/QUOTE]
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