Best jokes in a while

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Star*, Oct 24, 2007.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911

    and before you go OH not another political joke I have been fair:

    George Bush was sitting in his chair in the oval office and Colin Powell rushed in and in a somber tone said "Mr. President, three Brazillian soldiers have been lost in Iraq."
    Bush put his dead down over his arm lying on the desk and in his most serious voice he said "Just how many is three brazillian?"

    George Bush, Hillary Clinton, Collin Powell, A pilot and a little girl from grade school were all on a plane. The pilot came back during turbulent weather that the plane was going down and grabbed one of four parachutes, strapped it on, and bid the rest good bye as he leaped from the plane to safety. Collin Powell stood up and said there are four of us left and only three parachutes. "I'm an important government figure who can still do a lot of good in the world, I'm taking a parachute and going to live." with that he jumped out of the plane. Hillary Clinton stood up and said "I'm going to be the first woman president in US history and I'm the worlds smartest woman - I should save myself and grabbed one of two remaining packs and jumped out to safety. George Bush looked at the little girl and he said "You know what YOU take that last parachute - I've been president 2 terms, seen the world, been a pilot, I own a ranch and I've led a full and rewarding life. So go on you get the last parachute."
    The little girl turned handed Bush the parachute and said "Here Mister President - the worlds smartest woman - strapped on my book bag."

    Sorry about the politics...just couldn't resist.
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat



  4. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    :rofl: :rofl: Those are hi-larious!

    I was going to forward them to my dad, and had this in my in-box from him (forwarded from who-knows-where):

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

    You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

    So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

    Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

    She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

    Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

    "That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more."

    So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

    Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

    "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

    She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

    Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

    "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

    Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

    Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

    She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

    Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

    <span style="color: #FF0000">PLEASE NOTE:

    To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

    The first floor has wives that love sex.

    The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

    The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited</span></div></div>